nightshade131

I went to work today, drunk. Still drunk now. I tried to do my work, for a bit, then went out, then left early.
At home now, feeling like ****
Wish I could make it all go away

Anna

I know the feeling, but you can't make it all go away. What you can do is to stop drinking right now, and then you will begin to start to feeling better. Sometimes when we're drinking it's hard to see how we are making things so unmanageable, but that's what we do. Go to work sober tomorrow and it will be a better day for you.

least

If you stop drinking and give yourself a few weeks to heal, you might feel better.

nightshade131

I was doing so well. Being sober. Today I just lost it

Dee74

Hi and welcome back Nightshade

I lost it hundreds of times too - my will power alone was not enough.

Why not start posting here regularly again? it can't hurt and it will help - get some support and some ideas on what others are doing to stay sober?

D

Misssy2

I'm so sorry....I have been there...it is no fun actually it is hell.
I'm glad you are typing and evaluating where you are now.

Purpleman

Yes, I remember a few years ago periodically calling into an early opener at around 6:00am for a few beers before work. Jesus I don't know how I didn't get sacked from that job, it was in the corporate sector too. Being stuck in that "alcoholic haze" is horrible, nightshade131, hope things get better soon. Ball's in your court, though

Foggyriver

I drank at work too. I remember one time when I had a plastic water cooler cup filled with wine under my desk sitting on top of my CPU. My boss walked by and looked right at it. He never stopped or looked at me before when when walking by. After that I hid it better, but now I am sorry I let myself get to that point. I am very lucky I didn’t hurt someone while driving home on those days. Hope you can get a good night’s sleep and take care of yourself tomorrow. I ended up realizing I needed a new job, by the way.

Foggyriver

Oops, I am sorry. You did not say that you drank at work. It was I who drank at work, but I am also sure that I went to work still drunk from the night before. Thinking about you and wishing the best for you ❤️

nightshade131

Thank you everyone, you are all so kind and it's very nice to know that I am not alone.
I feel a bit wobbly today, but have to go to work (I will be getting a lift in).
Will be drinking lots of water today x

Tinkerbeau

Hi nightshade you defo not alone, i messed up terribly from friday for 5 days i just lost it completely, i was so scared. Still feel very ill now on day 2 sober but making myself go to work too as being off makes my anxiety rocket.
but we don't every have to feel this way again and I'm trying to take something positive from this mess and that is i want to change, im done with alcohol, im done with poisoning myself, i don't want to die of alcoholism. I'm truly ready for a new life, we can make the journey together.

nightshade131

Thanks Tinkerbeau, I feel awful today. Ashamed and anxious.
I have downloaded the SoberTool app to help me keep focused, otherwise I am in danger of picking up a bottle after work

Tinkerbeau

I know i feel exactly the same, it's self torture keeping hurting ourselves. I think what i have come to realise this time is I'm not just a 'big' drinker or i 'like a drink' I'm a alcoholic i can't control it. The only way to be ok is never take a first drink and that is what I'm determined to do.
I hope your work goes ok, getting through today is a big achievement for us both i think, then we can get better and better every day

nightshade131

I decided not to go to work today - I am shaking now and they will notice at work :-(
So I am going to take today to go through the posts here and get focused

SoberRican

Oh boy been there .done that. Trully messes up your phycy. If you didnt get caught count your blessings. Then take action. Stop boozing . Sleep on it . drink alot of water start flushing the poison. Eat something. If you can. I will pray for you. Keep coming back.

Misssy2

Great choice to take the day...make sure you get really well hydrated today....that will help and I took vitamins which I think helped as well.

SoberRican

wow flash back for me I didnt know much about withdrawal . so I had went to work and they had me do a job qherw all I had to do was screw a little screw in and wow I was shaking so bad could not even do that simple task I was embarrassed. They sent me to office and asked if I was ok. Said yes and that it was stress. Well it wasn't come to find out. Mind blowing. Get your rest. Keep coming back.

nightshade131

Thanks for all your advice everyone - I had some fish and chips for lunch, got a big bottle of water next to me and listening to 'The Naked Mind' whilst curled up in bed. I keep falling asleep periodically which is good I guess.
And I really appreciate you sharing your stories with me - as much as I feel like an idiot, it has helped give me a reality check

Misssy2

I want Fish n Chips NOW....I'm so glad you are taking care of yourself..
Sleep is good!

Hevyn

Hi nightshade. I'm so glad you're discussing this. You're feeling miserable, but here's where it can end. The anxiety & disappointment in yourself will fade - you can reclaim your life.

I drank at work at the end of my drinking career. It was one of the things I was sure I'd never do. If I didn't keep it in my system at all times, I'd shake & be sick. I thought I was fooling everyone with my mints, eyedrops, perfume...but I know my behavior & personality change gave me away. It felt so good to get free of it & once again hold my head up. You can do it - we're so glad you're here.