ShiftHappens

I feel as though I have nothing to live for. Alcohol used to take the edge off, but now the drinking has increased and taken over.

I'm looking for some words of hope.

I ordered an Ativian prescription from God knows where in Panama and get my regiular Klonopin prescription refilled next week.

I have begged and prayed to God but I feel like human garbage

If this doesnt get better Im going to just go to sleep and not wake up

Abraham

It can get way better without the drink. I am just a month sober and feeling way better. Its tough to put down the drink for the first time but read around here and you may just catch the bug. The put down the drink bug. When the bottle starts drinking from you its time. Why not see youre real dr and get a script. Most dr's are willing to help with meds to quit drinking. I was at a fifth a day after drinking for about 30 years. And while you will see it written alot here....I feel like if I could do it anyone can do it. You will not be disappointed. Read around. You wont find anyone that is saying they wished they were still drinking.

least

Welcome to the family. When I was drinking I felt like I had nothing to live for too. It got a lot better after I was sober a few months. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Anna

I'm glad you posted.

I think you will find that your outlook on life will change in a very positive way when you stop drinking. Be very careful prescribing something for yourself. Your doctor should be able to advise you if you need a prescription to get through withdrawals.

There is hope.

Hevyn

It's good to meet you, SH. I felt hopeless & empty when I first joined SR - but that all changed as I shared my thoughts & feelings here.

Drinking just masks our problems - keeps us from taking action & making our lives better. I was viewing the world through a fog - not seeing reality. Being sober, you can figure out what's wrong & why you feel unhappy. You can get free!

SoberRican

Welcome. Hey you at the place . this is sober land here..get a lot of good advice and words of inspiration. I been coming here for a little bit on day 71. So I promise use whatever works for you. The hardest is stopping after that. It gets better

ShiftHappens

Thank you everyone for your positive responses.

Im afraId to stop, yet I can't continue. So confused.

I am living on basically nothing now I will have to come off of this alone.

I was reading here before I signed up and I will keep my phone near me in case of God forbid an emergency.

Thank you for the peace of mind. I just need some peace of mind.

least

Be sure to call for help if the w/d gets too bad. Alcohol withdrawal can be unpredictable so be careful. Drink lots of water/juice. Whatever you do - don't drink! If you drink to medicate the w/d, then you'll just be starting all over again.

SoberRican

Yes take heed to what is being said. You going solo? Ok I did too. By the grace of my higher power I made it thru. And let me tell you. I aint gonna sugar coat it. It sucked big time. But I persevered . and did it. That's why you see when people post about playing the tape. Its things like that .that make you never again. Then in time like me at 71 days still a newbie. Feel much better.......and you will too. Look if you down for sobriety. Then you will do what it takes . stay hydrated is a plus. Flush that crud out of you. Eat lifht if have to . soups and stuff. Get rest. I'll put you in my prayers like I do for all that want this. (Sobriety). Keep coming back

Misssy2

Not all Drs will give you medication for the withdrawals..all of them around here...SAY to go to the HOSPITAL...because they are so afraid to give out controlled substances....

I am worried that 2 bad things can happen with drugs from Panama...you get arrested and the drugs you get are garbage..like sugar and do nothing ok...3 things...you may never get the medication but lose your money.

They charge a lot on line....it was a source I have ALWAYS researched because the Doctors are too controlling and i have never abused drugs...but I don't feel I am prescribed enough for my anxiety disorder..I have never ordered on line cause of the 3 reasons above. ...

The first day I stopped I HAD to get "some" alcohol because my detox was too bad..I blacked out and I was very scared I didn't want to go to the hosptial because I take care of my Dad daily with dementia...so I got 4 nips and nursed them....I didn't go back but it was enough to get me thru that 1st horrible day.....

Everything looks SO BLEAK when you are in the middle of a drinking episode.
It really sounds to me like you really are sick of being sick and that are going to attempt to stop.

If you are get an arsenal ready for this FIGHT...or ask friends to get this stuff....Gatorade...Ramen Noodles...what helped me alot was B complex vitamins...And Watermelon.....I also bought a 6 pack of Ensure (the drink that has all the vitamins in it)....I also bought 2 bottles of Pedilyte...all this stuff got me thru the first 6 days.....without my son getting this stuff for me....I don't know where i would be.

I couldn't eat anything so the Watermelon was a cool boost of fluid and made me feel like something healthy was in my stomach.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Shift

I know it's hard to get access to and to afford to see a Dr but I hope you will.
Self medicating is what started a lot of us on the horrible journey.

I used to recommend this site all the time. Even in todays difficult health care climate there still may be something for you here?

https://www.needymeds.org/newuser
D

jhonnyspa

Hi Shift

I know it is hard to stop drinking I too am in that boat but as long as that boat is afloat there is still hope of salvation.Please do not self prescribe medication as I know benzodiazepine should only be given by a doctor and under careful supervision. They can stop the gag reflex and with alcohol this may be fatal.Please go to your GP and listen and post to the good people on this site.All the best

CRRHCC

"I feel as though I have nothing to live for. "

Values and purpose are the main navigational tools in life. People change when they are motivated to change, when they hurt enough and have to or learn enough and want to.

You have taken the first motivating step in taking the time and effort to post here.

Della1968

Klonopin and Ativan are both benzo's. Which would be dangerous enough even if one wasn't coming from out of the country. Please don't mix them especially with alcohol.

ShiftHappens

Frankly I thonk I just have too much to face.

Im tired

I just Wish God would take me out of here somehow.

i have truly suffered enough

God bless all of you on your journey

Misssy2

Life is overwhelming and adding alcohol to it...seems like it makes us better for a short time.

But i personally and most alcoholics always end up more TIRED, defeated, depressed and anxious..

I hope you can find a way to get some help to stop...so that you can live life.

wildflower70

Give yourself permission to be tired. Do you have a few days off of work to rest? I took some personal time to get over the first few days, watched movies all day, ate what I could, took lots of showers, and slept. This will pass, keep going one step at a time.

Be very careful of any meds you take, see a doc first!!!

thomas11

Talk to us SH, what's going on??

August252015

I was terrified to quit, and only one reason was because I had so much to face and clean up. We get it.

The ONLY thing to make it all stop was to quit. Completely. Ordering drugs of any kind off the internet is So. Dangerous. I used to do it for weight loss pills and while they were effective in aiding my increasing drunkarexia, horrible on my body.

I personally believe that I have to help God heal and guide me - meaning, I have to do the work, seeking my HP, and it all started with me getting sober.

We are here for support -I echo the need for IRL help from a dr, detox or even the ER if you need it, and deciding on a recovery program. There is so, so, so much to live for and once our heads clear we begin to see it.

PhoenixJ

prayers