Sick and tired
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
in my experience - the 12 steps always work, but they didn't work for me - until I absolutely HAD to work them. They worked (or I was able to let them work me) when I was beaten into complete desperation.
there is an alternative - just don't drink...
... I kept trying that but the results kept getting worse, and I kept getting worse, on the inside where it beat me up the most. Now that the MIRACLE has happened ... thru working the steps - I realize there was no way I could have fixed my spiritually diseased self, with my spiritually diseased self.
One positive suggestion - try doing a Web Search for Recovery Speaker messages. Many / most are free.
there is an alternative - just don't drink...
... I kept trying that but the results kept getting worse, and I kept getting worse, on the inside where it beat me up the most. Now that the MIRACLE has happened ... thru working the steps - I realize there was no way I could have fixed my spiritually diseased self, with my spiritually diseased self.
One positive suggestion - try doing a Web Search for Recovery Speaker messages. Many / most are free.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
You say you are sick and tired? But are you? Thays the million dollor question. Cause if You are cool. Now its time to take action. Starting with of coarse giving up the booze. Dont know how you deep you are in your addiction like if getting the shakes etc. If so I suggest getting med help. Then you can work on staying sober. Its a process. And I would be lieing to you if I said it was easy. But it can be done. I am on day 68. Keep coming back
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome.
Sorry the steps don't work for you and I, personally, know of no other alternative.
I had to get sick and tired, too. But I was sick and tired for ten years while still drinking.
Do whatever it takes. Me? I went to meetings and just listened. I never had a sponsor, I never did the steps, but I sure learned a lot.
The people in the rooms got me sober through osmosis. It rubbed off on me.
If you can't quit on your own, there's this place, of course, but I found it impossible to quit on my own. I hope you don't.
Sorry the steps don't work for you and I, personally, know of no other alternative.
I had to get sick and tired, too. But I was sick and tired for ten years while still drinking.
Do whatever it takes. Me? I went to meetings and just listened. I never had a sponsor, I never did the steps, but I sure learned a lot.
The people in the rooms got me sober through osmosis. It rubbed off on me.
If you can't quit on your own, there's this place, of course, but I found it impossible to quit on my own. I hope you don't.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi and welcome to SR. You've come to a good place to help you. There are many ways to get sober, one of them is that you've simply had enough. Sounds like you are close. Stick around and best wishes to you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,518
Welcome, Ivasik. I'm sorry for the painful time you're experiencing.
I drank 30 yrs. I felt all alone until I joined SR. No one else in my life understood alcoholism, or what I was going through. I hope you'll stay with us - you're among friends who care.
I drank 30 yrs. I felt all alone until I joined SR. No one else in my life understood alcoholism, or what I was going through. I hope you'll stay with us - you're among friends who care.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Welcome!
We have a great thread about various recovery programs and things that we did:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))
We have a great thread about various recovery programs and things that we did:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
AA is incredible but it's not something that I needed to get me sober. This website, the resources I found here and just plain old-fashioned work got me sober. This place is amazing, stick around, post, read, you'll find a way if you want to get sober.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Gainesville, Fl
Posts: 435
Psychotherapy is a great alternative....if you can afford it. From my experience in trying to find a psychotherapist or counselor who specializes in alcohol abuse in combination with depression or anxiety, was not only difficult, but near impossible to find one who takes insurance. I'm just starting and I pay $100/hr.
I'm with you on AA. I've repeatedly been told by who did find success in AA that it works for everyone if you truly try. I call BS. Every which way I look at it, I can't find a single ounce in me to involve a higher power of any kind. Not God, not the universe, not mother nature. No, "it can work with an atheist, you just have to find YOUR high power" stuff. It's just not who I am to "let go" or give credit to something I don't find logical. That's where therapy comes in for me. Get to the root and solve it like a math problem.
So don't let anyone give you crap or make you feel at fault because AA wasn't for you. Find the way that works for you and get it done. Good luck!
I'm with you on AA. I've repeatedly been told by who did find success in AA that it works for everyone if you truly try. I call BS. Every which way I look at it, I can't find a single ounce in me to involve a higher power of any kind. Not God, not the universe, not mother nature. No, "it can work with an atheist, you just have to find YOUR high power" stuff. It's just not who I am to "let go" or give credit to something I don't find logical. That's where therapy comes in for me. Get to the root and solve it like a math problem.
So don't let anyone give you crap or make you feel at fault because AA wasn't for you. Find the way that works for you and get it done. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
I’ve been to several A.A. meetings, they didn’t work for me but I did enjoy occasionally going with friends. I’ve been to meetings in many states. I do the SMART recovery workbook and read the 30 day sobriety solution. AA works for many people and when going I did feel a lot of support to quit. I’m a chronic relapser and so maybe I didn’t work the steps. You can stay sober, there’s many other groups, online and in real life, literature, workbooks, addiction counseling, out patient programs, medication and now I’m reading “sober” bars are becoming trendy and the word “sober curious” being thrown around in the media. Also many healthy ways to meet people, yoga classes and meditation workshops. Being a drunk, binge drinking is becoming a faux pas and not cool anymore. Millennials have learned that getting wasted leads to horrible consequences and prefer to be on their phone, or watching Netflix. It all comes down to you, do you want to be sober and in control of your life more than you want to drink and lose control?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Gainesville, Fl
Posts: 435
Originally Posted by mariposa 
Millennials have learned that getting wasted leads to horrible consequences and prefer to be on their phone, or watching Netflix
My experience is that we're all equally flawed. At least when it comes to addiction. I'd call the millennials far more flawed in other areas LMAO jokes...no one get political
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 230
AA and 12 step programs work for some and not for others.
I tried AA but did not get sober through it. I was too unstable and vulnerable to go to meeting with total strangers I did try but the meetings made me uncomfortable. I did not find it helpful for my mental health.
I decided to do it on my own and am now nearly 4 months sober. What has made me successful was the accumulation of bad experiences resulting in terrible physical and mental ill health. I just could not deal with the consequences of drinking anymore.
I would not rule out going to an AA meeting on the future now I am more stable.
I tried AA but did not get sober through it. I was too unstable and vulnerable to go to meeting with total strangers I did try but the meetings made me uncomfortable. I did not find it helpful for my mental health.
I decided to do it on my own and am now nearly 4 months sober. What has made me successful was the accumulation of bad experiences resulting in terrible physical and mental ill health. I just could not deal with the consequences of drinking anymore.
I would not rule out going to an AA meeting on the future now I am more stable.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Abgator I’m gen x and I do feel good about somethings the millennials have done. Yes addiction is addiction but being wasted just stopped being cool, was it ever cool? People are coming out against hiding addiction and getting help and sober is the new black. There are more options now than ever to get help and not be shamed. Being a non drinker is considered socially acceptable. No one should feel it outcast them anymore.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,351
Welcome aboard Ivasik
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I'm a believer in being around other sober folks so I suggest you at least check out the non 12 step meeting based approaches like SMART Lifering etc.
I recommend you visit the Secular Recovery forums
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#secular-recovery
if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
D
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I'm a believer in being around other sober folks so I suggest you at least check out the non 12 step meeting based approaches like SMART Lifering etc.
I recommend you visit the Secular Recovery forums
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#secular-recovery
if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
My uncle didn't drink for 20 years without the 12 steps....So it can be done...don't back yourself into a corner thinking that if you don't do the 12 steps you will fail....
The 12 steps really do help but not if you are not wanting to do them....they help because they teach a different way to cope with life situations...they are not just steps as they are written...they have depth...and conversation and lessons around them.
However, AGAIN...you don't need them....you just need to not pick up a drink no matter what...try to be always honest with yourself and others...do the opposite of what YOU would normally do....eat healthy, get enough rest, have good people in your life that are boozing it up all the time, find things to do that you enjoy....keep busy....never get too hungry (or you will crave)....angry, lonely or tired....and you CAN DO THIS.
The 12 steps really do help but not if you are not wanting to do them....they help because they teach a different way to cope with life situations...they are not just steps as they are written...they have depth...and conversation and lessons around them.
However, AGAIN...you don't need them....you just need to not pick up a drink no matter what...try to be always honest with yourself and others...do the opposite of what YOU would normally do....eat healthy, get enough rest, have good people in your life that are boozing it up all the time, find things to do that you enjoy....keep busy....never get too hungry (or you will crave)....angry, lonely or tired....and you CAN DO THIS.
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