Proud to be Sober? Dying for the next drink? Weekenders 11 July - 15 July 2019
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,645
Proud to be Sober? Dying for the next drink? Weekenders 11 July - 15 July 2019
Welcome to the Weekenders
Proud to be Sober, or dying for the next drink?
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Giving up the thing that you crave for seemed impossible at the beginning. My body, my brain screamed out for alcohol and I told them No!
Would this now be a life of hell for me? Now I had to face my demons and I wondered, ‘would there be a time when I could hold my head high up and also have a life, an enjoyable life at that?’
I read this paragraph below written by Mary Karr and thought it relevant to me and also perhaps you too?
(Mary Karr-I celebrated 23 years sober this month – May 12 to be exact. About a year ago, I was talking to a dear friend who was newly sober, and our conversation shifted something in me. For the first time in my life, I realized that my sobriety isn’t a limitation. Sobriety isn’t even a “have to” – it’s a superpower).
And I realise I found Sobriety is freeing, uplifting, and most of all ‘IT SET ME FREE’,
It was my superpower too!
Once I’d gone through the cravings and the anxiety (for me), I realised I didn’t need or want alcohol anymore. I didn’t want a weekend (or whenever I could squeeze a drink in, to be honest) of drinking, crashed out and repeat...all weekend. I wanted a life!
Stopping drinking set me free.
Remember why you want to stop or have stopped already..... I could write a story of why I did and I think, perhaps you could too?
If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: North East Scotland
Posts: 487
Checking in for a sober weekend.
Weekends always the worst.....especially Friday …… that's wine night (every night is wine night....but Friday is an acceptable wine night in my head)….. not drinking this Friday …. it's not happening......x
Weekends always the worst.....especially Friday …… that's wine night (every night is wine night....but Friday is an acceptable wine night in my head)….. not drinking this Friday …. it's not happening......x
)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 93
I would like to join too. This is day 13 for me and I have been traveling with my spouse overseas. He doesn’t drink, so this thirteen days have been successful for me. We return home this evening, though, and after that I have to stay sober on my own accord. I need all the support I can get! Thanks so much.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,756
This is an exciting weekend for me. On Sunday I reached my 1000th day of freedom. I don't remember when exactly, but I do remember reaching that realization of freedom and posting something about it here in SR.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
This will be my 3rd weekend sober...and I never opened these posts before...
I am PROUD to be sober....HAPPY to be sober...GRATEFUL I was able to live thru my last detox which was the worst one I can remember other than the one in 2005....
I don't want to go thru that again and I don't have to and I won't as long as I dont ever pick up that first drink...
I am PROUD to be sober....HAPPY to be sober...GRATEFUL I was able to live thru my last detox which was the worst one I can remember other than the one in 2005....
I don't want to go thru that again and I don't have to and I won't as long as I dont ever pick up that first drink...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I remember posting something similar to Lessgravity one day when he was newly sober. Even the anxiety is a SuperPower. If I was born with this sensitivity and nervous energy, it must serve a purpose - I just have to channel it properly and not see it as a curse. There are plenty of better ways to deal with it than numbing everything with alcohol.
It's all in my head anyway. If I think I'm free, I am. If I think it's a burden, it is.
The dog thinks it's swimming Look how happy and peaceful it seems. Sometimes it's enough to act as if.
In and thanks, Mags.
It's all in my head anyway. If I think I'm free, I am. If I think it's a burden, it is.
The dog thinks it's swimming
Look how happy and peaceful it seems. Sometimes it's enough to act as if.In and thanks, Mags.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 652
7 days AF today and been feeling pretty good all week.
A bit anxious about the weekend, my mother in law is coming to stay and she is a heavy drinker who likes a partner in crime. I love her a great deal and enjoy her visits but anxious that I am going to use this as an excuse to drink, we are out for meals, going for a gig and she will be drinking my wine in my house. Generally, if I am not drinking I dont let other people drink in my house until I am at least 3 months in (including dear long-suffering husband). Although there is always a cellared wine selection here (H collects it) and various spirits so I am used to being sober with alcohol in the house. I am ok if it remains in the cellar/cupboard!
But the mother in law is always an exception to that rule. She is in her 70s and likes to drink, thats her perogative and I am not about to ruin her visit by imposing something on her that she will find really tough and miserable. Not letting her drink in the house would be positively rude.
Hence, I need to find a way to deal with me. I have done it in the past on her visits but always I am further down the line, not just 7 days.
I have absolutely no intention of sharing any of my internal struggles with her. I have stocked up on AF beers and Seedlip (as you might gather I am not a fellowship person). I have also arranged a heavy drinking friend to join us for dinner and gig so she has a drinking buddy as I think that will take the pressure off me a little. I can let them crack on and take a back seat.
I think I need to practice my party line of 'I have quit drinking again' so it trips easily off my tongue.
Sorry for long post.
A bit anxious about the weekend, my mother in law is coming to stay and she is a heavy drinker who likes a partner in crime. I love her a great deal and enjoy her visits but anxious that I am going to use this as an excuse to drink, we are out for meals, going for a gig and she will be drinking my wine in my house. Generally, if I am not drinking I dont let other people drink in my house until I am at least 3 months in (including dear long-suffering husband). Although there is always a cellared wine selection here (H collects it) and various spirits so I am used to being sober with alcohol in the house. I am ok if it remains in the cellar/cupboard!
But the mother in law is always an exception to that rule. She is in her 70s and likes to drink, thats her perogative and I am not about to ruin her visit by imposing something on her that she will find really tough and miserable. Not letting her drink in the house would be positively rude.
Hence, I need to find a way to deal with me. I have done it in the past on her visits but always I am further down the line, not just 7 days.
I have absolutely no intention of sharing any of my internal struggles with her. I have stocked up on AF beers and Seedlip (as you might gather I am not a fellowship person). I have also arranged a heavy drinking friend to join us for dinner and gig so she has a drinking buddy as I think that will take the pressure off me a little. I can let them crack on and take a back seat.
I think I need to practice my party line of 'I have quit drinking again' so it trips easily off my tongue.
Sorry for long post.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
We love long posts, welcome Lucinda, ShenzyT & Foggyriver.
Lucinda, I truly hope you find a way to make sobriety stick this time. Sounds like you've struggled long enough.
Don't forget you can always "leave the party" when/if MIL and the wine become overwhelming. It's your house, save yourself and leave her to it - go to your room or go out for a while. She will be okay without you drinking.
Lucinda, I truly hope you find a way to make sobriety stick this time. Sounds like you've struggled long enough.
Don't forget you can always "leave the party" when/if MIL and the wine become overwhelming. It's your house, save yourself and leave her to it - go to your room or go out for a while. She will be okay without you drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
Another weekend. Today is 7-11, which means that the store who shares that name gives away free slurpees today. Ahhh....flavored sugar ice, who wouldn’t love that!!
Have plans to visit some old friends. They were drinking friends - haven’t seen much of them since I quit. The plans are getting so convoluted - hubby and friends are planning an overnight event with so many ridiculous twists and turns.
I’m over here screaming on the sidelines, “but we live 45 minutes away - we can have dinner and drive home” yet no one seems to hear me. No matter, I’ll be having dinner and driving home cause I’m not all about that nonsense!
Other than that, it’s a pretty easy weekend. A few kids birthday parties and cleaning the house. And attempting to train the dogs to have a specific potty spot - we’ll see how that goes.
Have a good weekend all!
Have plans to visit some old friends. They were drinking friends - haven’t seen much of them since I quit. The plans are getting so convoluted - hubby and friends are planning an overnight event with so many ridiculous twists and turns.
I’m over here screaming on the sidelines, “but we live 45 minutes away - we can have dinner and drive home” yet no one seems to hear me. No matter, I’ll be having dinner and driving home cause I’m not all about that nonsense!
Other than that, it’s a pretty easy weekend. A few kids birthday parties and cleaning the house. And attempting to train the dogs to have a specific potty spot - we’ll see how that goes.
Have a good weekend all!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
Yes I am proud to be sober but don't feel it is a fait accompli. It is still and I believe always will be a work in progress as the beast still barks!
I also now need to address my cross addiction of anything sweet, great help for cravings early on but I am still using it 8 months on everyday. Just like with alcohol I don't allow it ever to run out, restock daily with more than I need, just in case. Funny I was never interested before I quit. Clearly a unhealthy replacement.
Thanks for the thread Mags.
Bim I want that little dog!
I also now need to address my cross addiction of anything sweet, great help for cravings early on but I am still using it 8 months on everyday. Just like with alcohol I don't allow it ever to run out, restock daily with more than I need, just in case. Funny I was never interested before I quit. Clearly a unhealthy replacement.
Thanks for the thread Mags.
Bim I want that little dog!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
Hey, Lookie Here, Ma! It's Thursday & I'm Sober!
Absolutely worth rejoicing over; especially in those early Days of The Struggle. One of the fortunate side-bars that keeps me living this Sober Life on effortless Autopilot is simply not ever imagining going through The Early Days ever again. I don't have it in me, and won't be finding out.
I was just hangin' in the breezy Suburban shade a few Days ago after having bought my new Truck in Denver via the InterWebz. In this Complex of Restaurants and Business Offices near my Hotel, there was this 'underbelly' of Addiction and Homelessness juxtaposed against familiar Corporate Life. Nothing threatening, and I'm about 6'6" [~2 Meters] with my Cowboy Hat on anyway. One listless, agitated Fellow who wandered around repeatedly asked me the most interesting question: 'Are you OK? You've been sitting here for hours' [researching on my Phone, and just chillin']. I explained what brought me to Denver. Later, he wheeled up a decent-looking Bike and sat down on the same Bench.
'I just stole this Bike [an obvious lie]. Do you want to buy it for a Dollar'?
'No, my Wife already has 2 Bikes; including a sturdy one like yours. I only carry ID, and my Hotel Room Key. I hear ya, Man. I'm one, too. I quit about 5 Years ago because I'd finally had enough'.
'Man, I really need a Shot. I'm an Alcoholic'. I wished him well, and off he wandered. On the Sidewalk between a Liquor Store, and an upscale Body Shaping Clinic advertising Botox.
In this lovely grassy, Greenbelt area adjacent, I'd already seen a passed-out Fellow sleeping it off in the Afternoon with a few empty Plastic Half Pints in the Grass. A lone Car was parked and running nearby. His maybe? He'd just made it to the Grass to *safely* Black Out? It took me a while to process that Scene, since I'd left all that awfulness behind circa 2014.
Yesterday, we took my new Truck up on The Grand Mesa to find the Lake seen below @ ~10,200' [~3,100 Meters] I'd viewed on Google Earth. Today, after MesaMate's Pilates, it's Lunch out after Recycling, and a Movie after our daily Dog Park Soiree.
The choice is mine now with >2,000 Days in: Black Out on the Grass [as I have repeatedly] and barely exist, or live the Life I somehow imagined being within my grasp while here on SR. STDragon's Post #9 above 'made me look' at the Sober Calculator [I never do].
You'll never regret getting Sober. It's one of two Outcomes in our Lives. No time like the present. Thanks, Mags...
A Song about Water, and the joy of being a Kid 'stoned' on Nature. As I was yesterday...
~ 'And It Stoned Me' ~ Van Morrison ~
~ Song Background ~ Wiki ~
Hey, Lookie Here, Ma! It's Thursday & I'm Sober!
Absolutely worth rejoicing over; especially in those early Days of The Struggle. One of the fortunate side-bars that keeps me living this Sober Life on effortless Autopilot is simply not ever imagining going through The Early Days ever again. I don't have it in me, and won't be finding out.
I was just hangin' in the breezy Suburban shade a few Days ago after having bought my new Truck in Denver via the InterWebz. In this Complex of Restaurants and Business Offices near my Hotel, there was this 'underbelly' of Addiction and Homelessness juxtaposed against familiar Corporate Life. Nothing threatening, and I'm about 6'6" [~2 Meters] with my Cowboy Hat on anyway. One listless, agitated Fellow who wandered around repeatedly asked me the most interesting question: 'Are you OK? You've been sitting here for hours' [researching on my Phone, and just chillin']. I explained what brought me to Denver. Later, he wheeled up a decent-looking Bike and sat down on the same Bench.
'I just stole this Bike [an obvious lie]. Do you want to buy it for a Dollar'?
'No, my Wife already has 2 Bikes; including a sturdy one like yours. I only carry ID, and my Hotel Room Key. I hear ya, Man. I'm one, too. I quit about 5 Years ago because I'd finally had enough'.
'Man, I really need a Shot. I'm an Alcoholic'. I wished him well, and off he wandered. On the Sidewalk between a Liquor Store, and an upscale Body Shaping Clinic advertising Botox.
In this lovely grassy, Greenbelt area adjacent, I'd already seen a passed-out Fellow sleeping it off in the Afternoon with a few empty Plastic Half Pints in the Grass. A lone Car was parked and running nearby. His maybe? He'd just made it to the Grass to *safely* Black Out? It took me a while to process that Scene, since I'd left all that awfulness behind circa 2014.
Yesterday, we took my new Truck up on The Grand Mesa to find the Lake seen below @ ~10,200' [~3,100 Meters] I'd viewed on Google Earth. Today, after MesaMate's Pilates, it's Lunch out after Recycling, and a Movie after our daily Dog Park Soiree.
The choice is mine now with >2,000 Days in: Black Out on the Grass [as I have repeatedly] and barely exist, or live the Life I somehow imagined being within my grasp while here on SR. STDragon's Post #9 above 'made me look' at the Sober Calculator [I never do].
You'll never regret getting Sober. It's one of two Outcomes in our Lives. No time like the present. Thanks, Mags...
A Song about Water, and the joy of being a Kid 'stoned' on Nature. As I was yesterday...
~ 'And It Stoned Me' ~ Van Morrison ~
~ Song Background ~ Wiki ~
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I think Van may be my favorite musician ever.
Thanks, MM. Beautiful.
...and Kaily, funny you should say that, I went online to research, "adopting a Chihuahua," after that gif. I grew up with a Chihuahua mix. When my kitty goes (she's 20, after all) I want a tiny dog. In my condo we can only have under 20 pounders, so my desire for a big protection dog is out. Probably for the best since I will have to pick up its poop. Less is better in this case.
Thanks, MM. Beautiful.
...and Kaily, funny you should say that, I went online to research, "adopting a Chihuahua," after that gif. I grew up with a Chihuahua mix. When my kitty goes (she's 20, after all) I want a tiny dog. In my condo we can only have under 20 pounders, so my desire for a big protection dog is out. Probably for the best since I will have to pick up its poop. Less is better in this case.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I'm in.
Thanks, Mags!
Welcome Foggy, Shenzy, Rose, Misssy, Lucinda! Stick around, we can help you get through the weekend sober!
Bim said:
It's all in my head anyway. If I think I'm free, I am. If I think it's a burden, it is.
This may sound simplistic. But it's 100% true. I remember at about maybe 6 months into my sobriety, when I was still in the midst of cleaning up the wreckage, I had a realization that my mindset had shifted from seeing sobriety as a burden to be endured, to seeing it as freedom. It was a wonderful moment. Sure, there have been times since than that I still wish I were "normal" and could drink a couple and stop, but then I remind myself it would not be like that for me, and why would I bother, anyway? I like being sober way better than I ever liked drinking, because I get to be fully aware of everything. I used to not like being fully aware, which was part of why I drank, because being fully aware meant dealing with some pain in my life I didn't want to face. But being basically forced to face the pain, and working through it, has given me ultimate freedom. I just simply don't want to drink, 99 percent of the time, and I do not feel deprived.
Thanks, Mags!
Welcome Foggy, Shenzy, Rose, Misssy, Lucinda! Stick around, we can help you get through the weekend sober!
Bim said:
It's all in my head anyway. If I think I'm free, I am. If I think it's a burden, it is.
This may sound simplistic. But it's 100% true. I remember at about maybe 6 months into my sobriety, when I was still in the midst of cleaning up the wreckage, I had a realization that my mindset had shifted from seeing sobriety as a burden to be endured, to seeing it as freedom. It was a wonderful moment. Sure, there have been times since than that I still wish I were "normal" and could drink a couple and stop, but then I remind myself it would not be like that for me, and why would I bother, anyway? I like being sober way better than I ever liked drinking, because I get to be fully aware of everything. I used to not like being fully aware, which was part of why I drank, because being fully aware meant dealing with some pain in my life I didn't want to face. But being basically forced to face the pain, and working through it, has given me ultimate freedom. I just simply don't want to drink, 99 percent of the time, and I do not feel deprived.
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