omnicare6754110

I reached my goal of being sober for 1 year about 3 months ago. I have nothing but positives to say about that sober year and life was immensely more manageable, enjoyable and fulfilling. In fact, I loved it so much that I decided I should just keep going on being sober...forever.

Unfortunately, something about hitting that year made some part of my brain think it was going to be ok to drink again. Even though 99.9% of me completely understands what that entails, I drank during a celebration with friends. I kept it under control. But the next weekend I ordered beers with dinner. And went to another party the weekend after that to drink. Fast forward 3 months, I'm blackout drunk on a Sunday, throwing up at 2am, with a huge day at work on Monday waiting for me. At work on Monday, I was so hungover that I just closed my office door and laid down on the floor for most of the day. Wearing a full suit. It was hell.

So I'm back. I've been sober for 8 days and going strong. I don't post here much but lurk for sure. I'm excited to be sober again and know that I have tools that worked in the past.

I also think I'm very lucky because for me, not drinking is actually very easy. Trying to control my drinking is impossibly difficult.

Thanks to all in this community. Its a great place!

SoberRican

Welcome back. Hey no worries. You did what you did thinking it will have a different result. Well did you? Not ....same crap. You seem to know about the toolbox thing. Need to bust that lock on it . lol. Keep coming back you will be alright. One day at a time

FreshStartOk

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. Albert Einstein I think.

Alcoholism is somewhat insane, and rationality doesn't play that much a part. I wouldn't beat yourself up too much, but be very proud about your sober time, and think about the nice life you can have in the future.

ImNotThatGuy

Thanks for the reminder and congratulations on 8 days.

August252015

Glad you are back!

What are you going to do with this new chance, as in putting in a foundation for your sobriety? It's a journey and maybe adding and changing things you did to get a year is a great idea.

omnicare6754110

Actually, I start grad school this week! Something to focus on and keep me plenty busy. I'm very excited. I love being a student!

Anna

I also think it's easier to not drink at all, rather than trying to control my drinking. I'm glad you're back and ready to do this again. Good luck with grad school.

Rd2quit

You say not drinking is easy, controlling drinking is impossibly difficult. That is exactly how I feel now. I can stay sober, I cant moderate drinking.

Dee74

welcome back omnicare

grad school will certainly keep you busy but it may be very stressful too. It was also pretty social for me, at least in the beginning.

I'd recommend thinking about that in a recovery sense?
Develop some strategies

D

Abraham

For the month I've been here, and not drank, I think this is the biggest takeaway I've gotten from this site. I think this is pretty much a fact if you were ever an alcoholic. Seen and heard it a million times and no one, except maybe a brand newbie to quitting, ever disputes it. Words of wisdom.

Hevyn

It's very good to see you, Omni. I'm glad you're back with new resolve.