andy1

I feel like I'm on a journey to sobriety. The past couple of years I have been making changes to my life. Dropping some old friends, hanging out with more sober people, cutting down on hobbies revolving around the pub

I didn't have too much of a problem with drink in my 20s (am 43 now) but I've wanted to give up for years and years and I've given up so many times, and relapsed so many times.

Is there anyone who just decided one day they wanted to give up, and just stopped and never relapsed ?

Will there be a time when I am finally ready and my life supports my sobriety and sobriety sticks? I'm getting tired of quitting again and again....

FreshStartOk

There are plenty of people who just gave up. Ian Mcshane, Anthony Hopkins, and plenty of ordinary people. Some people don't have much recrimination either, they just decided they're sick of booze and want a different life. In my case after withdrawal I find I actively enjoy sobriety.

Dee74

I'm not sure I qualify because my choice was keep drinking and die....but I've given consistent effort to my recovery - and no further effort towards drinking since 2007 and the day of my last drink.

It means changes but there's no reason why you can't do that too Andy

D

brighterday1234

SoberRican

Trust me you will know when you are truelly ready. My case was that last withdrawal I had. That was 62 days ago. So it does get better I promise.

entropy1964

I dunno. But you can quit now and make your lifestyle support your sobriety. Or you can keep drinking, wait until some massive negative consequence forces you to quit, and THEN make your life support your sobriety.

The trajectory of addiction is always down. So, why not just quit?

August252015

I'm someone who quit and hasn't relapsed - as of today. I work a dedicated program, and recovery is the backdrop of my life.

I was a quit or die person - and I always have that choice to make again....but it's not a real choice anymore, because I don't want to die and I know I don't have a relapse and recovery in me again. The life I have is too beautiful to let my alcoholic mind ever convince me to relinquish for a certain fate.

We all have to quit drinking, full stop, not "keep making progress to sobriety." Once we quit, then that progress or supplemental list is necessary.

No time better than now.

Rd2quit

Yes, I quit and did not relapse. I spent many years trying and failing to moderate my drinking. One day I decided enough was enough and I needed to give it up completely. I did get help though the use this forum and an addiction therapist.

ImNotThatGuy

Those people are few and far between. You have to have a plan to stay sober and stick to that plan. You have to remain vigilant every single day because it's a lot easier to fall off the wagon than it is to get on it.

I quit for five years once but didn't have an active sobriety plan and drank for years after that. Quit again for about two years and same story. This is my third real attempt, and I really hope it's the last because life is a lot easier and more enjoyable when you're not pouring poison into your body every chance you get.

ScottFromWI

To be honest that's the only way you can - to choose sobriety. It won't just "happen". It's always a conscious decision that has to be made by you. Certainly some people might quit for a while and then drink again, but that's because they either don't have a plan for what they are going to do differently after quitting - or they choose to not follow the plan.

So if you feel you are ready you can make that choice right now, right here this moment. What other people did really doesn't matter. Is sobriety what you truly want? Then go out and get it.

Granted some people do experience extreme events that make the choice easier - like a bad accident or health scare, but even that doesn't stop some from continuing to drink. You, and only you, need to make the choice. And the good news is you also have the power to make that choice.

saoutchik

I quit a few days before joining SR and have not relapsed but I did so dozens of times before then. At 54 I had pretty much run out of relapses. I don't think you will relapse again Andy.

JoePenner

I quit in September of 2007 and was sober until October of 2015. I'm back here on day 5 now, looking forward to being sober and healthy again. Why I slipped I don't know. What I've learned is that sobriety is precious and the most important thing in my life, and that I always have to stay on guard. It's worth it, there's no downside to being sober. Stopping the pain alone is the worth the price of admission.

August252015

Glad you are back Joe.

I highlighted this because of one word: SLIP.

I say this all the time here (and IRL) because I feel it is absolutely critical. We always choose to drink. Or not. ALWAYS. It's not a slip or an accident.

Examining the why can be useful - but it isn't relevant or as important as we want it to be ("if I could just figure out WHY I drink then...") because we have to quit this time, now, and use whatever tools we (again this word) CHOOSE. Mine is AA, there are tons of others....combos work well for someone like me, too.

Robbie64

I know of people who did just stop and as far as I am aware have never relapsed. But for each of them it took a serious health scare to get them to stop. In my experience haelth problems seems to be the trigger. However I'm sure there are many poeple who just decided to stop and probably just never frequent the local pubs.

Like yourself I keep relapsing though fortunately I don't drink to the same destructive way I did a decade ago. But I simply want to stop drinking as I'm never going to be healthy while I do drink as I simply cannot stop until I am drunk. You've got to want to stop and be serious about it. For me, I give in as soon as the urge to drink hits me. I guess it's a lack of coping skills. Yet there are times where I have been able to stop for months because I got no urge to drink for months. I've never been able to work out why some times I can go months without any cravings and why at other times the cravings kick in within a few days.

Dee74

I'm not sure I agree with that.

In the end, all of us who stay sober have to reach that point and there's a lot of us sober folks

I agree that the difference for me was commitment. I gave everything to staying sober and I had to stop feeding the part of me that wanted to keep drinking.

It was hard - it meant a lot of changes for me cos I did everything with a drink... but looking back it was really no harder than trying to drink 24/7 and avoid the consequences.

D

MyLittleHorsie

Once I got sober, I haven't relapsed. Getting to the point where I admitted and accepted I had a problem, well that took a bit. A few, if I quit for a month, I don't have a problem, if I only drink on weekends and Tuesdays, I am ok.
I did a lot of personal inventory. I did read the big book, went to a few meetings, never opened my mouth and while perfectly nice people, I stumbled upon meetings that were not for me. There was one bizarro, passive aggressive exchange about higher powers that I was like, wtf is wrong with these people.
I ended up drawing from different places, I knew people irl who were sober and what they had done to become and maintain their sober life. I never want to see howstar down my bottom could be, so I quit it, before it quit me.

...but I was ready, that is most of the battle. I will always agree, admitting defeat and accepting you cannot drink are the first steps. From there, I think there are many different paths.

Misssy2

Just don't stop QUITTING......This is the one time being a quitter can save your life..I know plenty of people that have gotten sober and never relapsed...

When you are ready...you will quit....and you will be strong and you will be happier than you ever could realize.

Best wishes to you.