Notices

Im a total loser

Old 07-04-2019, 04:43 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 319
Im a total loser

Why cant I just accept it and be content with my lot in life.

im so tired of trying to fix myself.

i had issues long before I picked up a drink.

Im 55 and Im beaten.

I just want some peace.
Dandelion12 is offline  
Old 07-04-2019, 04:52 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Good morning. First off you are not a loser. YOU can fix this. Just take it one day at a time. One hour. One minute. It all adds up. Thats that voice making you want to get a case of the f#&k it's. Try talking to who you call your higher power. Anything but not drink. That will not solve your problems iwndwyt
SoberRican is offline  
Old 07-04-2019, 04:55 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 348
Dandy,
I changed my life in my mid-40’s. I wish I had done it earlier, but it is what it is.

I was exhausted, and really just wanted some peace with myself and within my life. Quitting the drink was a leap of faith, as I knew there were many issues that led to my misery. Like many of us, I thought my only solace was at the bottom of the bottle, so giving it up was difficult. However, that decision has paid off in ways I didn’t anticipate.

It is never too late to reinvent yourself. We can all work towards being the best person we can be today. The fact that I had thrown away so many years drinking did not justify throwing away the years I had left. And behold, while life is far from perfect, there is a peace and serenity in sobriety that I never had while drinking.

Rather than “fixing myself”, I choose to see it as making better choices so I am at peace with how I live.

Best wishes,
-bora
boreas is offline  
Old 07-04-2019, 06:21 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
saoutchik
 
saoutchik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,134
Sorry to read you are feeling so low Dandelion. A useless person would never lay out their pain on SR but a smart person who is suffering would.

At the age of 54 I felt the same way as you Dandelion. I could literally feel the alcohol killing me on the inside and see it ruining my relationships and life chances on the outside.

I knew I could never beat the cravings using willpower alone. Fear, misery and desperation made me to look at my addiction front on and arrive at a method for minimising and avoiding the cravings long enough for them to recede enough to not trouble me (a couple of months)

Once you get beyond that early craving stage it gives you a real confidence boost because after that dealing with other problems that life inevitably throws in our path is never quite as tough as the problem you have beaten. The answer to your drinking is within you - you can find it and you can beat the addiction.

Good luck!
saoutchik is online now  
Old 07-04-2019, 06:28 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 319
Thank you all so much

Seems like when you need love and care the most people vanish.

Love to all here

dlion
Dandelion12 is offline  
Old 07-04-2019, 06:32 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
iwndwyt. My thoughts exactly. lol
Abraham is offline  
Old 07-04-2019, 06:34 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 319
What does iwndwyt mean?
Dandelion12 is offline  
Old 07-04-2019, 06:37 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Dandelion12 View Post
What does iwndwyt mean?
I Will Not Drink With You Today.
tomsteve is offline  
Old 07-04-2019, 06:46 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 319
Thank you
Dandelion12 is offline  
Old 07-04-2019, 06:47 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
You're not a loser, just in a bad place right now. Its temporary. Time to get to work? Sobriety....simple but not easy.
thomas11 is offline  
Old 07-04-2019, 07:00 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
You're not a loser but your addiction sure wants you to believe that. If you feel like a loser, you drink. Do you see the calculus?

In order to start to feel better I had to take steps to remove the stuff in my life that was tearing me down. And that started with booze.

You and I are about the same age. Too old to be young, too young to be old. We're in the tween years of old age. Ha! Its weird. How do I dress? Who am I? What do I do for 'fun'? How do I 'feel' about myself?'

Its a weird time to be 'finding' oneself. But that is what we have to do in order to stay sober.

Booze will continue to keep you down and kick you in the teeth. But remember, only you can let it do that to you. There are many things in life that are out of our control. Don't believe that the choice to drink is beyond your grasp...it obviously isn't, you are drinking. You can choose not to as well.

Get help with detox if you need it. No shame there. Only an empowering choice to take your life back.
entropy1964 is offline  
Old 07-04-2019, 08:32 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
Originally Posted by Dandelion12 View Post
Why cant I just accept it and be content with my lot in life.

im so tired of trying to fix myself.

i had issues long before I picked up a drink.

Im 55 and Im beaten.

I just want some peace.
You are not a loser, like most of us, you are a product of, "The Addictive Belief System."

“I should be perfect and perfection is possible; I should be all-powerful controlling myself and others;​ I should always get what I want and life should be without pain and require little or no effort.” The simple truth is that life will never be easy, fair and painless. We are never going to always get what we want. Intellectually, we may know this, but emotionally...not so much. The problem is, that the addictive personality believes that life should be easy, fair and painless! When we allow ourselves to think in this, "entitled," fashion, we lower our threshold to adversity, to feeling frustrated, helpless and overwhelmed. If we insist on avoiding emotional pain, on being comfortable all the time, we will seek ways to avoid reality, to escape our negative mood. With respect to addictive thinking, this type of corrupted belief system is the very core of addictive thinking and can lead to attempting to regain control with a, "Quick fix or mood changer," of drugs and or other errant behaviors, all designed to change the way we feel emotionally.


"No man is free until they master themselves." Epictetus.

You are about to embark on a grand journey if you allow it.

Feelings and behaviors are caused by a person's thoughts, not on outside stimuli like people, situations and events. People may not be able to control their external circumstances, but they can change how they think about them and therefore change how they feel and behave (Romans 12:2).
CRRHCC is offline  
Old 07-04-2019, 09:01 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
I Will Not Drink With You Today.
lol. Yea, I dont think in a million years I would have figured that one out. I figured it was a typo. Hilarious.
Abraham is offline  
Old 07-04-2019, 06:08 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,642
I'm just gonna walk around in real life saying "I wind wit."
ThatWasTheOldMe is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:33 PM.