Moodiness
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Moodiness
I went away for the week last week, just me and my dog as usual. I skyped AH every night and he was as jolly as jolly can be. Laughing at nothing...positive outlook etc.
l came home Monday...Monday night he sat there quiet and hardly speaking..looking like he had the worries of the world. I asked if he was ok he said yes but obviously wasnt.
same behaviour on Tuesday and Wednesday and then tonight l went up and put my arm around him and asked if he was really ok..."Yes" l asked if anything was worrying him and he shouted " IVE TOLD YOU! STOP GOING ON ABOUT IT...IM OK"
Nothing mentioned about drink...but the restrictions of me being around every evening are obviously raining on his parade after a week of freedom (for him and for me).
l came home Monday...Monday night he sat there quiet and hardly speaking..looking like he had the worries of the world. I asked if he was ok he said yes but obviously wasnt.
same behaviour on Tuesday and Wednesday and then tonight l went up and put my arm around him and asked if he was really ok..."Yes" l asked if anything was worrying him and he shouted " IVE TOLD YOU! STOP GOING ON ABOUT IT...IM OK"
Nothing mentioned about drink...but the restrictions of me being around every evening are obviously raining on his parade after a week of freedom (for him and for me).
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Originally Posted by SoberRican 
Hmmmm. Veeery interesting. My ex.boozer senses , sense something. ........ Listen to your but.
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Awal…..yep...anyone who comes between the alcoholic and the drink is seen as the "enemy"....even if it is the loved one....
It is about the drink...and, not the loved one, personally....but it sure is hell living with someone who has a black cloud over their head, all of the time....
Your time away reminds me of the teenagers who have a wild party when the parents go away....lol....
Actually...I hate to say this...but, it seems that when you two are separated, both of you are happier and enjoy yourselves most...….?
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Hi Awal,
In Al-Anon is where I learned (and still learn) how to allow others to have their own feelings, without comment.
It doesn't even need to go this far. 
As I take care of my own needs, feelings and life, the rest falls into place easier --- including allowing an alcoholic his or her own path of recovery or whatever else comes.
Have you ever had time away without phone calls or Skype?
In Al-Anon is where I learned (and still learn) how to allow others to have their own feelings, without comment.
I asked if he was ok he said yes but obviously wasnt.
As I take care of my own needs, feelings and life, the rest falls into place easier --- including allowing an alcoholic his or her own path of recovery or whatever else comes.
Have you ever had time away without phone calls or Skype?
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Originally Posted by trailmix
How does that affect you. I mean when you approach him with concern and he bites your head off?
Are you detached so far that it just rolls off your back or does it actually hurt your feelings?
Are you detached so far that it just rolls off your back or does it actually hurt your feelings?
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Originally Posted by Mango212
Hi Awal,
In Al-Anon is where I learned (and still learn) how to allow others to have their own feelings, without comment.
It doesn't even need to go this far.
As I take care of my own needs, feelings and life, the rest falls into place easier --- including allowing an alcoholic his or her own path of recovery or whatever else comes.
Have you ever had time away without phone calls or Skype?
In Al-Anon is where I learned (and still learn) how to allow others to have their own feelings, without comment.
It doesn't even need to go this far.
As I take care of my own needs, feelings and life, the rest falls into place easier --- including allowing an alcoholic his or her own path of recovery or whatever else comes.
Have you ever had time away without phone calls or Skype?
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Originally Posted by mylifeismine
Your time away helps you to escape from the realities
of your husband's drinking, but alcoholism is progressive
and you are seeing it happening.
The "jolly" was alcohol induced.
of your husband's drinking, but alcoholism is progressive
and you are seeing it happening.
The "jolly" was alcohol induced.
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Originally Posted by dandylion
Awal…..yep...anyone who comes between the alcoholic and the drink is seen as the "enemy"....even if it is the loved one....
It is about the drink...and, not the loved one, personally....but it sure is hell living with someone who has a black cloud over their head, all of the time....
Your time away reminds me of the teenagers who have a wild party when the parents go away....lol....
Actually...I hate to say this...but, it seems that when you two are separated, both of you are happier and enjoy yourselves most...….?
He came to visit me one day while l was away and brought all his negativity along for the ride...the cloud followed him when he left at late afternoon. I wouldnt want to be in his shoes ever.
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Originally Posted by Awal
Not really..he likes to check lm ok every day.
"It is okay to keep yourself safe and allow time to heal."
Good luck! Knowledge is power.
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Originally Posted by Awal
Not really..he likes to check lm ok every day.
Hey, I’m a cynic...
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You know, I have to say there came a time I told my XAH just to go ahead, just drink if that is what you need to do to not be this miserable mess. I mean, he was doing it anyways just the stress of hiding it and not being able to openly drink was making him crazy. I decided I could more easily live with the drinking than the miserable person he was becoming.
Turns out, I deserve more and I don't have to live with either. I am much happier now.
Turns out, I deserve more and I don't have to live with either. I am much happier now.
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Originally Posted by hopeful4
You know, I have to say there came a time I told my XAH just to go ahead, just drink if that is what you need to do to not be this miserable mess. I mean, he was doing it anyways just the stress of hiding it and not being able to openly drink was making him crazy. I decided I could more easily live with the drinking than the miserable person he was becoming.
Turns out, I deserve more and I don't have to live with either. I am much happier now.
Turns out, I deserve more and I don't have to live with either. I am much happier now.
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