Day 45. Rocketman and other musings
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Day 45. Rocketman and other musings
Hi everyone I just want to proclaim to the universe and this dear community on SR that I am LLG and I am an alcoholic. A very grateful alcoholic right now.
“The past no longer exists, the future is an illusion, enjoy your present”
1. My sponsor recommended 90/90 as in 1 meeting a day for 90 days. Instead i load up on meetings when i can. I haven’t gone a day without interacting with other alcoholics. I don’t take this lightly but im not about to be so guilty over missing a day or two of meetings that I’m going to drive myself to drink. 56 meetings under my belt!
2. I went to the movies alone, for the first time, to see rocketman. My God what a powerful movie. I cried in the bathroom for about 5 minutes after the movie. Weird “Youre on the right track dont you give up God loves you” tears.
3. Part of my new sober life is finding a balance. My AA sisters and brothers are very gung ho about putting AA first buuuut, the only thing is with 2 kids, a full time job, and other commitments, I need balance too. Im still in early recovery so I’m trying to find that sweet spot where I’m neither resentful to AA for my laundry piling up but I’m also not getting complacent in my recovery. This girl needs an active recovery life and I totally get that now.
Love to all. It gets better. Keep dragging yourself to meetings or to post online or go to therapy- Whatever helps you stay sober!
“The past no longer exists, the future is an illusion, enjoy your present”
1. My sponsor recommended 90/90 as in 1 meeting a day for 90 days. Instead i load up on meetings when i can. I haven’t gone a day without interacting with other alcoholics. I don’t take this lightly but im not about to be so guilty over missing a day or two of meetings that I’m going to drive myself to drink. 56 meetings under my belt!
2. I went to the movies alone, for the first time, to see rocketman. My God what a powerful movie. I cried in the bathroom for about 5 minutes after the movie. Weird “Youre on the right track dont you give up God loves you” tears.
3. Part of my new sober life is finding a balance. My AA sisters and brothers are very gung ho about putting AA first buuuut, the only thing is with 2 kids, a full time job, and other commitments, I need balance too. Im still in early recovery so I’m trying to find that sweet spot where I’m neither resentful to AA for my laundry piling up but I’m also not getting complacent in my recovery. This girl needs an active recovery life and I totally get that now.
Love to all. It gets better. Keep dragging yourself to meetings or to post online or go to therapy- Whatever helps you stay sober!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Good post! Your intensity on the program has been something I've listened to -and I know for me, that many meetings wasn't sustainable for long....balance in recovery includes family stuff, work or activities, etc, and to me that is ALL part of working my program. You're doing great- and it's early - just be careful about burnout.
I've counseled my sponsee (now just past 100 days) that she was trying to get ahead of herself and of working the steps by leaping, and while she was doing a terrific job on a plan, learning to apply it to life and to do things daily needs to be a process. She's struggling a bit now with an abrupt interruption (or seven!) to what was a fast start and now I'm hoping and waiting as she realigns a program with her life situation. I hope.
And as an aside - I don't know that I will see Rocketman here at 3.5 yrs! I felt dead inside after A Star Is Born (NOT trying to resuscitate that debate here but I just couldn't with his character not choosing action to get sober and....).
On the other hand, a wise and long time sober friend of mine told me over the weekend that he saw it- and after he collected himself, he called 5 people he'd known the longest in the program to tell them he was grateful for them. Good solution and reminder
I've counseled my sponsee (now just past 100 days) that she was trying to get ahead of herself and of working the steps by leaping, and while she was doing a terrific job on a plan, learning to apply it to life and to do things daily needs to be a process. She's struggling a bit now with an abrupt interruption (or seven!) to what was a fast start and now I'm hoping and waiting as she realigns a program with her life situation. I hope.
And as an aside - I don't know that I will see Rocketman here at 3.5 yrs! I felt dead inside after A Star Is Born (NOT trying to resuscitate that debate here but I just couldn't with his character not choosing action to get sober and....).
On the other hand, a wise and long time sober friend of mine told me over the weekend that he saw it- and after he collected himself, he called 5 people he'd known the longest in the program to tell them he was grateful for them. Good solution and reminder
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Thank you guys for your support.
August- I too was pretty meh about a star is born. Rocketman is NOTHING like that. It really glorifies recovery and not the so called "glory days." I highly recommend!! I'm so glad to hear you say balance is important as well!!
August- I too was pretty meh about a star is born. Rocketman is NOTHING like that. It really glorifies recovery and not the so called "glory days." I highly recommend!! I'm so glad to hear you say balance is important as well!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 839
That's fantastic LLG keep going
I go to AA too but usually only 2 or 3 meetings a week. I struggle to fit anymore in. I was told when I never went one week that I need to put my sobriety first or would relapse.
I work shifts so cannot always make meetings and also like you have a home to run etc. I appreciate what they say about I found time to drink, which obviously was my priority at the time, but I am trying to rebuild my home/family too now, if that makes sense?
It's early days for me, 2 months and I read on here every day.
You've got this ODAAT
I go to AA too but usually only 2 or 3 meetings a week. I struggle to fit anymore in. I was told when I never went one week that I need to put my sobriety first or would relapse.
I work shifts so cannot always make meetings and also like you have a home to run etc. I appreciate what they say about I found time to drink, which obviously was my priority at the time, but I am trying to rebuild my home/family too now, if that makes sense?
It's early days for me, 2 months and I read on here every day.
You've got this ODAAT
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Just throwing in a comment re meetings. They are indeed important- but going to meetings is not the same thing as working the program. Really big difference.
So, for example, my husband goes to 2 on the wkd. That's his choice and while we occasionally talk about where he is in his program.....my opinions and thoughts are best kept to .... my lane. My program is quite different and right now, I am best set emotionally when I go to 5-6. I don't usually go on the wkds except a 930 on Sun that my sponsee and I are "supposed" to do together....again, a different story bc while I am her sponsor, she has to work her own program which includes doing or not doing what I am suggesting and guiding as her sponsor.
The daily stuff I do for my recovery besides meetings is as important and sometimes more.
So, for example, my husband goes to 2 on the wkd. That's his choice and while we occasionally talk about where he is in his program.....my opinions and thoughts are best kept to .... my lane. My program is quite different and right now, I am best set emotionally when I go to 5-6. I don't usually go on the wkds except a 930 on Sun that my sponsee and I are "supposed" to do together....again, a different story bc while I am her sponsor, she has to work her own program which includes doing or not doing what I am suggesting and guiding as her sponsor.
The daily stuff I do for my recovery besides meetings is as important and sometimes more.
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
I went to one of my fav mtgs last night and simply checked in letting my sponsor know i went to a mtg. She sends me a paragraph about doing meetings first thing not last minute. Like wow, now its like micro managing what time of the day i go. I really respect her ss a person but i wonder if I should entertain the idea of finding a new sponsor.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 365
Originally Posted by LiveLikeGold6 
I went to one of my fav mtgs last night and simply checked in letting my sponsor know i went to a mtg. She sends me a paragraph about doing meetings first thing not last minute. Like wow, now its like micro managing what time of the day i go. I really respect her ss a person but i wonder if I should entertain the idea of finding a new sponsor.
Glad to hear you're doing well otherwise.
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
I have a new sponsor! I do not want to hurt this girl at all, but i did hust tell her. But my new sponsor works in my field has a kid same age as mine and also had a long relapse before coming back to the program - all things i hugely relate to. She believes in ppl designing their own program of recovery and i think this is a much better fit.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Nice job on your sober time. I can relate to that open, intensely emotional feeling that can overwhelm, even for good reasons, in early sobriety. I have a distinct memory of a prescription drug commercial making me cry. In the end, it's a really good thing and I think your mind/spirit/self is just so grateful and hopeful that you'll give it the reprieve from alcohol you are promising that almost anything can make it split in half with sad joy. My 2 cents.
Congrats. Keep it up. It gets better.
Congrats. Keep it up. It gets better.
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