Sacrifice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Sacrifice
Something has been weighing heavily on my mind, might as well get it off my chest before I go take a walk in the park.
We will be getting our year end bonus in mid September, I was going to use this money for my annual Vegas trip. The company has done exceptionally well this year so I believe the bonus will be substantial compared to years prior.
However I'm thinking about sacrificing short term luxuries for more stability in my life. I have financial goals as part of my overall life goals in recovery. First I wanted to become debt free which I have achieved. Then I wanted to sock away some money for an emergency fund which I've done. Then I changed my paycheck withholdings so I am contributing the maximum to my retirement accounts. Now the goal I'm working on is to put more money into my emergency fund until I have one year's worth of living expenses saved.
If I skip my vacation I will hit this goal easily barring any unforeseen life circumstances. If I go on vacation I will most likely fall short.
My dilemma goes a bit deeper than that. When I went on my Vegas trip last year I had a year and a half of sobriety under my belt. Unfortunately I was still suffering from PAWS related depression so I didn't fully enjoy my time there. I spent a Friday night in Vegas in my hotel room because I was a crying and miserable wreck.
Tentatively I'm thinking of postponing the trip until April 2020 to celebrate my third birthday in sobriety. Physically I'm the healthiest I've ever been. The emotional turmoil of early sobriety has subsided and I'm happy and stable. If I continue to be disciplined with my finances I could have security and stability by then.
Basically I'm thinking to wait until then to not only celebrate another year in recovery but also to celebrate the end of the struggles of early sobriety. Life must always be lived on life's terms of course but I'm trying my best to position myself for a life of beauty. Of course waiting until then will test my patience and discipline as well.
So I thought I would throw it out there if anybody has any advice. Also I'll open up the thread for people to share their stories of sacrifice to ensure sobriety. Thanks.
We will be getting our year end bonus in mid September, I was going to use this money for my annual Vegas trip. The company has done exceptionally well this year so I believe the bonus will be substantial compared to years prior.
However I'm thinking about sacrificing short term luxuries for more stability in my life. I have financial goals as part of my overall life goals in recovery. First I wanted to become debt free which I have achieved. Then I wanted to sock away some money for an emergency fund which I've done. Then I changed my paycheck withholdings so I am contributing the maximum to my retirement accounts. Now the goal I'm working on is to put more money into my emergency fund until I have one year's worth of living expenses saved.
If I skip my vacation I will hit this goal easily barring any unforeseen life circumstances. If I go on vacation I will most likely fall short.
My dilemma goes a bit deeper than that. When I went on my Vegas trip last year I had a year and a half of sobriety under my belt. Unfortunately I was still suffering from PAWS related depression so I didn't fully enjoy my time there. I spent a Friday night in Vegas in my hotel room because I was a crying and miserable wreck.
Tentatively I'm thinking of postponing the trip until April 2020 to celebrate my third birthday in sobriety. Physically I'm the healthiest I've ever been. The emotional turmoil of early sobriety has subsided and I'm happy and stable. If I continue to be disciplined with my finances I could have security and stability by then.
Basically I'm thinking to wait until then to not only celebrate another year in recovery but also to celebrate the end of the struggles of early sobriety. Life must always be lived on life's terms of course but I'm trying my best to position myself for a life of beauty. Of course waiting until then will test my patience and discipline as well.
So I thought I would throw it out there if anybody has any advice. Also I'll open up the thread for people to share their stories of sacrifice to ensure sobriety. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
Sounds like you have some solid long term planning under your belt. That’s fabulous.
As for Vegas, I honestly cannot ever envision myself in Vegas again. My only experiences there are clouded in an alcohol haze. For me, that would make the sacrifice easy.
Is Vegas a place you enjoy sober? Perhaps you could plan a different, cheaper vacation and still save some of your bonus?
if your heart is set on Vegas, could you take a shorter vacation thereby saving some money toward your goal and also getting your vacation?
As for Vegas, I honestly cannot ever envision myself in Vegas again. My only experiences there are clouded in an alcohol haze. For me, that would make the sacrifice easy.
Is Vegas a place you enjoy sober? Perhaps you could plan a different, cheaper vacation and still save some of your bonus?
if your heart is set on Vegas, could you take a shorter vacation thereby saving some money toward your goal and also getting your vacation?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: ireland
Posts: 138
Lets start by saying well done on your sobriety.For me going to Las Vegas would be like fishing and praying that the fish don't take the bait = Alcohol,gambling,drugs,women,gun range all you can eat buffet, save money
on the other hand if you can just go to Las Vegas and see the lights and the shows, well you will save some money.Moreover, sobriety would be my main concern about this trip, in such early days in sobriety.
on the other hand if you can just go to Las Vegas and see the lights and the shows, well you will save some money.Moreover, sobriety would be my main concern about this trip, in such early days in sobriety.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
It's great that you have taken control of your finances and are meeting your goals. I think, as you said, you might feel better about taking the trip in April. Maybe you could do something different to celebrate the work bonus. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
ok, first off well done on the debt paydown, emergency fund, retirement build up. i'm just shy of 60 and got on that bus a bit late, but i'm on my way!!! well except for the mortgage - that one is way down the list right now.
here's what i'm thinking on wanting to go on vacation.
las vegas? really? out of all the places in this beautiful country, or outside of this country, a bunch of buildings in the desert?? with lights?
what if you decided to explore somewhere new?
my daughter and i did the trip to the Belmont Race last year - yes we got to witness Justify win the Triple Crown!! on our way we stopped in Philly - which is a seriously cool city to explore! then we went to NYC, did the Belmont, but then visited the Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island. amazing. and we finished with a stop in Boston, which is also just beyond cool. so much history.
this year we are going to Mexico - first stop Mexico City to go explore Teotihaucan and maybe a stop at the church of our Lady of Guadalupe and see the Tilma de Juan Diego. then Acapulco for a week at a resort on the coast with a lazy river and a bunch of pools.
my only point is there is a whole world out there to explore! my personal faves may not be yours....you can find your own!
here's what i'm thinking on wanting to go on vacation.
las vegas? really? out of all the places in this beautiful country, or outside of this country, a bunch of buildings in the desert?? with lights?
what if you decided to explore somewhere new?
my daughter and i did the trip to the Belmont Race last year - yes we got to witness Justify win the Triple Crown!! on our way we stopped in Philly - which is a seriously cool city to explore! then we went to NYC, did the Belmont, but then visited the Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island. amazing. and we finished with a stop in Boston, which is also just beyond cool. so much history.
this year we are going to Mexico - first stop Mexico City to go explore Teotihaucan and maybe a stop at the church of our Lady of Guadalupe and see the Tilma de Juan Diego. then Acapulco for a week at a resort on the coast with a lazy river and a bunch of pools.
my only point is there is a whole world out there to explore! my personal faves may not be yours....you can find your own!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
I went out and spent some time at the park walking and meditating on this. Admittedly it was a rambling stream of consciousness so I wanted to get to the bottom of why this has been on my mind before I read any responses. For the record, yes I do love going to Vegas even more sober than I ever did drinking It would take to long to explain the reasons why but Sin City has a special place in my heart. I never had a gambling addiction so I do like to hit the tables while I'm out there.
The reason this was weighing heavily on me is because as much as I hate to admit it I'm scared. Not scared of relapse but scared of closing the first chapter of my sobriety and delving into the next phase of my life.
In the first days of my journey my struggle was all about not dying from withdrawal. Once I was in the clear it was about getting healthy and trying to find my legs in sobriety. Then it was getting through the emotional turmoil of PAWS which was somehow way worse than the actual physical withdrawal. Then it was getting my career back on track. Once I hit the numbers I have in mind with respect to my finances then all of my goals to achieve a solid foundation in sobriety have been achieved.
I'll admit that paranoia has set in a little bit. My life was such a mess for so long (this was all my doing, not looking for a pity party) that I'm not used to good things happening as a result of putting in work. I'm waiting for the rug to be swept from under my feet.
The idea of celebrating my third birthday on vacation in a place I love with a solid base of recovery sounds exciting and it sounds frightening to me at the same time. What is next for me? Dating? Pursuing hobbies? Travel? Career change?
Even in my 27th month of sobriety this is all still so new to me. Despite the fact that my new life is infinitely better than the old one it still doesn't feel quite real to me yet. So my mind has been in overdrive thinking about the next chapter.
Well enough of that for now, I'll have to make the decision when the time comes. I'm leaning towards postponing the trip.
It would take to long to explain the reasons why but Sin City has a special place in my heart. I never had a gambling addiction so I do like to hit the tables while I'm out there.The reason this was weighing heavily on me is because as much as I hate to admit it I'm scared. Not scared of relapse but scared of closing the first chapter of my sobriety and delving into the next phase of my life.
In the first days of my journey my struggle was all about not dying from withdrawal. Once I was in the clear it was about getting healthy and trying to find my legs in sobriety. Then it was getting through the emotional turmoil of PAWS which was somehow way worse than the actual physical withdrawal. Then it was getting my career back on track. Once I hit the numbers I have in mind with respect to my finances then all of my goals to achieve a solid foundation in sobriety have been achieved.
I'll admit that paranoia has set in a little bit. My life was such a mess for so long (this was all my doing, not looking for a pity party) that I'm not used to good things happening as a result of putting in work. I'm waiting for the rug to be swept from under my feet.
The idea of celebrating my third birthday on vacation in a place I love with a solid base of recovery sounds exciting and it sounds frightening to me at the same time. What is next for me? Dating? Pursuing hobbies? Travel? Career change?
Even in my 27th month of sobriety this is all still so new to me. Despite the fact that my new life is infinitely better than the old one it still doesn't feel quite real to me yet. So my mind has been in overdrive thinking about the next chapter.
Well enough of that for now, I'll have to make the decision when the time comes. I'm leaning towards postponing the trip.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
looking at the title of this thread and the concept of sacrificing short term luxuries for longterm stability....i'm thinking that none of this is a sacrifice. can you reframe the question to yourself? see the entirety of choices in the way of bonus options you have?
what a nice "problem" to have; it is no problem
for myself, i'd save some, take a different, cheaper vacation, and give some away.
what a nice "problem" to have; it is no problem
for myself, i'd save some, take a different, cheaper vacation, and give some away.
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