A tragedy
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 63
A tragedy
In a nearby town this week, a man (an alcoholic) shot his ex-wife numerous times and later killed himself. She is in critical condition. Word is she has likely lost her eyesight. They were divorced a year ago and she had taken an order of protection out on him the month before. The local paper ran a column that said, in part, that we shouldn’t judge the shooter because he was obviously troubled and needed help. Is it just me, or does this bother you too? A mother and grandmother is shot numerous times and likely disabled for life, and we’re supposed to pity the troubled alcoholic? How about pitying the poor woman who was harassed and stalked and then shot? Instead of questioning what more could have been done to help him, how about really protecting domestic violence victims with more than a piece of paper? Am I overreacting?
The local
The local
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No, I don't believe you are overreacting. Troubled or not, what he did was horrendous and had he not killed himself, he should have spent the next 50 years in jail, which would have been a life sentence.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Newlife…..this is a horrible event that we all talk about and fear....
Did the article actually say...in black and white---"don't judge the shooter"...?!
I wonder If the woman had actually sought help from the domestic violence center...in addition to getting an order of protection....?
I realize that these are questions that you cannot answer if you were not there.....
Every time I read/hear about one of these situations, I feel very upset.....Where I live, near a large city...there are several, each month.....
Did the article actually say...in black and white---"don't judge the shooter"...?!
I wonder If the woman had actually sought help from the domestic violence center...in addition to getting an order of protection....?
I realize that these are questions that you cannot answer if you were not there.....
Every time I read/hear about one of these situations, I feel very upset.....Where I live, near a large city...there are several, each month.....
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Newlife…...In thinking, further, about your post....I would like to add more thoughts on the subject....
I think that we should have stricter stalking laws...for one thing, I think any evidence of stalking should require the wearing of an ankle bracelet..like those used in house arrests. And, there are much more restrictions placed on stalkers.
I, also, think that there should be stricter gun laws...and, a person guilty of any level of domestic violence or stalking should not be able to obtain a gun.
In addition, I think there should be stronger efforts at education about domestic violence....I believe that there is a lot of ignorance in the public, as a whole, about domestic violence and the kinds of measures to take. I think that education should begin in the early ages...like Jr. High School...directed at both boys and girls....
In addition, I think that there should be more availability and awareness of domestic violence services....****and an effort to erase the stigma of using such services....
I think that those who are in high probability of being stalked should be given the benefits of the kinds of survailence emergency alarms that current technology provides. Any victim or potential victim should be informed of what technology provides, these days, and given free or very low cost use of these technologies....
I don't think that these laws and protections happen, unless and until the citizens get involved and put the squeeze on lawmakers.....
I think that we should have stricter stalking laws...for one thing, I think any evidence of stalking should require the wearing of an ankle bracelet..like those used in house arrests. And, there are much more restrictions placed on stalkers.
I, also, think that there should be stricter gun laws...and, a person guilty of any level of domestic violence or stalking should not be able to obtain a gun.
In addition, I think there should be stronger efforts at education about domestic violence....I believe that there is a lot of ignorance in the public, as a whole, about domestic violence and the kinds of measures to take. I think that education should begin in the early ages...like Jr. High School...directed at both boys and girls....
In addition, I think that there should be more availability and awareness of domestic violence services....****and an effort to erase the stigma of using such services....
I think that those who are in high probability of being stalked should be given the benefits of the kinds of survailence emergency alarms that current technology provides. Any victim or potential victim should be informed of what technology provides, these days, and given free or very low cost use of these technologies....
I don't think that these laws and protections happen, unless and until the citizens get involved and put the squeeze on lawmakers.....
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 63
Great points dandelion. I just read an excellent book called No Visible Bruises about domestic violence. Shelters, critical though they are, often force a woman into hiding. To guarantee her safety, she has to leave her job (if her stalker knows where she works) and her kids have to transfer schools. Instead, put the stalker in jail. Stalkers are often addicted ex spouses or boyfriends who can’t let go. My ex never touched me during our marriage but has left threatening voicemails since the divorce. I’m nearly positive he would never harm me but it’s unnerving nonetheless.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
Originally Posted by Newlife2019 
In a nearby town this week, a man (an alcoholic) shot his ex-wife numerous times and later killed himself. She is in critical condition. Word is she has likely lost her eyesight. They were divorced a year ago and she had taken an order of protection out on him the month before. The local paper ran a column that said, in part, that we shouldn’t judge the shooter because he was obviously troubled and needed help. Is it just me, or does this bother you too? A mother and grandmother is shot numerous times and likely disabled for life, and we’re supposed to pity the troubled alcoholic? How about pitying the poor woman who was harassed and stalked and then shot? Instead of questioning what more could have been done to help him, how about really protecting domestic violence victims with more than a piece of paper? Am I overreacting?
The local
The local
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 319
Very sad. Not sure what state this happened in, but if he had a court order of protection against him, we already have federal and state laws in place that would have made it illegal to have the gun. (https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/feder...ers-protection).
https://www.justice.gov/jm/criminal-...uals-convicted
It’s also illegal to have one under federal law if you’ve ever been convicted of a domestic violence defense, even if it’s a misdemeanor. Not sure if that makes anyone feel any better. I live in state with some of the strictest guns laws, but when it comes to crimes of passion, or crimes in general really, people get their hands on guns and use them as they see fit. Sometimes due to government errors where people weren’t doing their jobs, and people were able obtain firearms even though they weren’t supposed to. Scary :/
https://www.justice.gov/jm/criminal-...uals-convicted
It’s also illegal to have one under federal law if you’ve ever been convicted of a domestic violence defense, even if it’s a misdemeanor. Not sure if that makes anyone feel any better. I live in state with some of the strictest guns laws, but when it comes to crimes of passion, or crimes in general really, people get their hands on guns and use them as they see fit. Sometimes due to government errors where people weren’t doing their jobs, and people were able obtain firearms even though they weren’t supposed to. Scary :/
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Part of the challenge would be, some victims don't report physical assaults, or refuse to testify against their assailants, so there could be any number of violent people who are flying under the radar.
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