its been a long time since I have been on this board but really need some support right now. My husband is an opiate addict. He had 14 months sober and I believe relapsed on Sunday. He’s not admitting it but all the signs were there...went to look at a car with my brother who is in active addiction and came home with pinpoint pupils, sweating, clearly intoxicated, and of course lying about it all. He started by swearing he didn’t take anything then changed his story and said he took a muscle relaxer for back pain...ya not buying it.

i haven’t really talked to him yet other than the initial wtf is going on conversation which was literally me calling him out, him lying, and me ending it because why bother at that point. Plus the kids don’t need to see us arguing. I do plan to have a conversation with him I just haven’t had a chance due to work schedules (he works nights).

I am devastated. I really thought that he was past this. It’s been over a year! I know relapse can happen at any time but i really didn’t see this coming. My head is spinning and now I’m thinking that this may not have been the first time. I have no reason to believe he has used prior to Sunday but we only see each other in passing during the week due to work schedules so it wouldn’t be too hard for him to hide it at least for a little while.

I am praying that this really was the first time and he realizes how stupid he was and moves forward. But his lying has me extremely concerned that things are going to go in the opposite direction. The only thing I know for sure is that after living through hell with him in active addiction I will not return to that life. I have made it very clear that I will divorce if he goes back to that life and as much as I love him I will not live through that again.

Just looking for some support/advice.

Thanks everyone. I am serious about leaving if he goes back to it. We separated for a little over 2 years while he was using because I had had enough and recently worked things out (he moved back in about 6 months ago). Finances are already separate and I talked to an attorney during the time we were separated. It’s been about a year since I had that consultation so of course I would need to go back for another if he continues to use, but I have a general idea of what my next steps need to be and am able to move forward if needed.

We we had a good conversation last night. I couldn’t sleep so we ended up talking when he got home from work. He admitted to using on Sunday, said it was the first time. I can’t be positive that this is true as I know how the story goes. He offered to give me access to his bank account if I wanted so I can see if he withdraws money, not sure I am going to do this because I don’t want to babysit. He says he doesn’t want that life and is going to do what is necessary to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Time will tell as actions speak louder than words. Things are definitely different this time around but I know how easy it is for him to slip back into active addiction. In the past he would have never admitted it or offered access to his account etc. Im praying that with over a year in recovery he now has the skills needed to move past this.

I hate this!!! Thanks again for the support. It means a lot.

[QUOTE=AnvilheadII;7214978]clearly intoxicated

Becca - during his "clean" time was he still drinking? nothing opens up the floodgates faster than adding alcohol. if he quit the pills but is still drinking, he's still using and keeping the beast alive.


Other than 1 occasion he hasn’t been drinking during his clean time. My guard is definitely up and I am not placing much on his honesty. Though I don’t deny that I am hopeful that he can move past this. You are right he did step back into active addiction on Sunday, I tend to think of that as the daily use that he spent so long doing. But you’re right he used and that is that. Time will tell I guess. I’m prepared to separate if needed, hopeful that he won’t take that path but I do know the reality of the situation.