Paulsandy

All,
45 days alcohol free never got a craving but still has a great fear of failure.I suspect i go to.drink if I get new challanges in future life.I always feel insecured and lonely so feeling of not supported anyone i may go for old habit to numb my feelings.
I am working on it .
Any tools to strengthen my confidence level are apprecoated

Help yourself first then you can help others.Love yourself first and you can offer love others.Stay safe !

Daisybelle

Well done on 45 days sober, that's huge.
For me gratitude plays a big part in my recovery. There are quite a few gratitude threads on S.R, I do the morning one and the bedtime one, they really help me. It's worth a try.
You can do it. xx

Paulsandy

Thank you daisy foe reminding me.I also believe that this gratitude tool is a way of seeing life with bright hope.We all have good things on our life bur we usualy forget those good things and focus on the things we dont have.We live by our thoughts ,we become what we think .If we think and focus on goos our lives will be good ,contrary if we think and focus on bad our lives will go further bad.
Let me try this !!
Stay safe !!

ReadyAtLast

Congrats on 45 days

BrianK

45 days, no cravings, and YET your mind brings up that kernel of fear that somehow, some way, some thing is going to blow this.

Sounds like me the last couple times I got over a month sober

It sounds like "it's going too good, something must be wrong." I wonder if this is because of our alcoholic lifestyle we're used to combing through our past for mistakes so they don't creep up on us and blindside us, always having a Plan B, Plan C, etc. And as alcoholics, something will almost always pull the rug out from under us.

It sounds like what you're experiencing is just the old thinking. At least, that's how I get when things are going "too good." "Oh, those people with a year or more sober must be working a REAL program; they must have made a REAL spiritual change. I mean, I'm doing ok, life's good, I like being sober, BUT..." I'm at 20 days this time, and I'm trying to stay in the mindset that if it's working, keep doing it, and if it starts to work less well, be open to change.

Just my 2 cents. Hope it helped. For sure, you're post helped me by getting me to pause and ponder on this for a moment, and shore up my own weak points a bit!

Guener

I would try to avoid forecasting the future and remain clear about what you are doing each day. You can have a plan for what to do if you think you need some extra help getting through a really tough spot, but it I have found that it isn't useful to go through the worry of what you might do about something that might happen. The more you strengthen your habits now the better equipped you will be for whatever comes. Avoid complacency today to be strong tomorrow.

Hodd

Callas

I am with you on this. I am in month four and still afraid of slipping up. I don’t know if I ever will be a confident non-drinker but that is ok. As long as just don’t drink I will live with the fears.

DriGuy

We all know people make slips, and we talk about these blindside slips so much that you might think such a slip is inevitable. The reason we talk about them is to stress the need to be aware of what they look like so you can avoid them. They pretty much follow the scenario where your AV tells you you can get away with one drink or one drunk. That little voice is delusion thinking telling you want would be nice to hear, but not what is real. The rest is up to you. Don't fall for the little voice in your head. You've managed the cravings, and at 45 days, they are now under your control. From here on, the goal is just to avoid doing something stupid. You can do it. Don't stop thinking and watching. Eventually, it will be second nature and require little conscious effort.

Paulsandy

Thanks all...
I am just worried why i am worrying too much
Life is ok now and we cannt fix our future now !!
Stupid mind thinks a lot...however this gave me sober moments too...
Need to control the mind and make it to live in present !!!
Present is not a problem .Problem is the past and future ...where we never be able to live...
Lets train our mind to live in the present !!
Take care guys !!!

August252015

Are you working an active program of some kind? The process of changing my thoughts was a huge part of my journey.

Paulsandy

Hi August,
I am not working on any professional program.However I am observing my thoughts through a sober mind.Have you got any info please ?
Regards,

Paulsandy

Hi Callas,
Lets watch and and observe our thoughts.Then note them and try to rectify with some tools.Hope we all find a way out !!! Take care

August252015

Sure- I'm an AA person, there are plenty of folks around here who can talk about their success with SMART or AVRT, there are lots of other IRL groups. -

Dee can you share the thread?

Paulsandy- the vast majority of us have to learn to be sober minded, as you called it, and it's a multi-faceted thing. Community (like SR and an IRL suppot group for many of us), some kind of spiritual life/life of learning, study of new choices and habits and ways of thinking that are key to a different life in not just sobriety but recovery....

We find we can't (don't have to!) just do it alone, by willpower or hoping or....I'd suggest you look at everything from going to a meeting to adding new hobbies to reading recovery books or something connected to bettering ourselves or...endless things to do!