43 Weeks! Loving life!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 10
43 Weeks! Loving life!
I joined here last year after deciding that if I carried on drinking I'd end up ruining my life and my kids life.
I have my original posts on here I'm sure a quick search of my profile or something will show them.
Quick run down, drinking two bottles or more of wine a night for 4+ years. Stopped and the withdrawals were HORRENDOUS. On Prozac, Valium, beta blockers, numerous trips to hospital thinking I'm dying. The anxiety was honestly horrific. I can totally understand why people go back to drinking to avoid the anxiety.
Wasn't easy, I felt like I was on the phone to the Samaritans every night, went to church, thought it might help and it actually gave me the support I needed at the time. But don't go anymore, not my thing, but I was desperate. Cried all the time. Emotions all over.
Week by week it got EASIER. Set backs yes, I got drunk at Christmas and then Easter but since that, I can actually have the odd pint. Not for everyone, some people it's better to have nothing.
But I don't use the alcohol to fill a void. It took lots of months of hard work, admitting my mistakes, accepting that I am good enough as me, accepting life has problems, you can't change others etc etc.
Like honestly, I feel like a new person with confidence I never knew I had, and the ability to deal with issues with no crutch, just bang on deal with them BOOM like that.
I take no medication now. Sometimes I have a moment of anxiety but after how far I've come that is not going to set me back.
I just want people to know that it IS POSSIBLE to recover. It's definitely NOT easy and takes all your willpower, even when you don't think you have any, you have more than you know!
I don't have any family to run to, to hold my hand, I had to do it by myself, so you can do it. Being on so many meds I felt like I wasn't going to have this as my life. Ok it was my life, it was my situation but I wasn't going to let my past or my situation ruin my life.
Take care everyone. You CAN do it!
I have my original posts on here I'm sure a quick search of my profile or something will show them.
Quick run down, drinking two bottles or more of wine a night for 4+ years. Stopped and the withdrawals were HORRENDOUS. On Prozac, Valium, beta blockers, numerous trips to hospital thinking I'm dying. The anxiety was honestly horrific. I can totally understand why people go back to drinking to avoid the anxiety.
Wasn't easy, I felt like I was on the phone to the Samaritans every night, went to church, thought it might help and it actually gave me the support I needed at the time. But don't go anymore, not my thing, but I was desperate. Cried all the time. Emotions all over.
Week by week it got EASIER. Set backs yes, I got drunk at Christmas and then Easter but since that, I can actually have the odd pint. Not for everyone, some people it's better to have nothing.
But I don't use the alcohol to fill a void. It took lots of months of hard work, admitting my mistakes, accepting that I am good enough as me, accepting life has problems, you can't change others etc etc.
Like honestly, I feel like a new person with confidence I never knew I had, and the ability to deal with issues with no crutch, just bang on deal with them BOOM like that.
I take no medication now. Sometimes I have a moment of anxiety but after how far I've come that is not going to set me back.
I just want people to know that it IS POSSIBLE to recover. It's definitely NOT easy and takes all your willpower, even when you don't think you have any, you have more than you know!
I don't have any family to run to, to hold my hand, I had to do it by myself, so you can do it. Being on so many meds I felt like I wasn't going to have this as my life. Ok it was my life, it was my situation but I wasn't going to let my past or my situation ruin my life.
Take care everyone. You CAN do it!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Okay, well - you've cut back your drinking. That's good...but don't confuse cutting back with sobriety. This site focuses on sobriety and full abstinence.
Maybe you will be able to continue to drink like you are drinking, but I wouldn't take that bet.
For those of us who let drinking go too far, abstinence is the only solution.
I've been where you are.
Danger.
I started back drinking after many years of abstinence. Just the one here and there, special occasions. Within a couple years I was right back to daily drinks. In a couple more years I was full on again: drinking daily, often to blackout, not being able to predict when I'd have two and when I'd have 15. Hangovers, misery, regret and depression.
I don't think your mileage will vary, though I sincerely hope it does.
I've now been completely alcohol free for over five years and everything is so much easier and better.
Maybe you will be able to continue to drink like you are drinking, but I wouldn't take that bet.
For those of us who let drinking go too far, abstinence is the only solution.
I've been where you are.
Danger.
I started back drinking after many years of abstinence. Just the one here and there, special occasions. Within a couple years I was right back to daily drinks. In a couple more years I was full on again: drinking daily, often to blackout, not being able to predict when I'd have two and when I'd have 15. Hangovers, misery, regret and depression.
I don't think your mileage will vary, though I sincerely hope it does.
I've now been completely alcohol free for over five years and everything is so much easier and better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 10
Congratulations to you on your life choice.
I hope your life continues good for you 😊
No I definitely won't relapse into that state again. I've done too much hard work there's no chance that's going to be my life.
I'd agree, I'm not going to never drink again.
But I know that it's a choice I make now.
Everyone has their own journey, I'm just sharing mine because I'm proud of myself.
And letting others know that the withdrawals do go away.
Well my time on this site is done but good luck to everyone out there with your journey. Much love to you all 🌹
I hope your life continues good for you 😊
No I definitely won't relapse into that state again. I've done too much hard work there's no chance that's going to be my life.
I'd agree, I'm not going to never drink again.
But I know that it's a choice I make now.
Everyone has their own journey, I'm just sharing mine because I'm proud of myself.
And letting others know that the withdrawals do go away.
Well my time on this site is done but good luck to everyone out there with your journey. Much love to you all 🌹
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Good for you. Personally I dont think a beer a year or 0 beers a year would make a big difference if you relapse or not. Either way you can. I've heard of people going years with complete abstinence and still relapsing. I have heard of people who quit and just drink once in a while and not relapsing. Like you say. We are all different and have our own journey. Count how you like, stop or cut back drinking on how you like. Live how you like.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 437
Congrats on the 43 weeks!:-)
I'm nearing the end of my 2nd week and really positive. I've totally focused on getting out more and improving my health as well as doing stuff round the house.
I don't think though I personally could handle just having one drink. Well done that it works for you but for me it'd just be a slippery slope and I realise that. Ive relapsed many times on the notion of having a night off and it's come back to bite me on the ass so I'd like to totally abstain and see how it goes. So far it's going well, really well:-)
I'm nearing the end of my 2nd week and really positive. I've totally focused on getting out more and improving my health as well as doing stuff round the house.
I don't think though I personally could handle just having one drink. Well done that it works for you but for me it'd just be a slippery slope and I realise that. Ive relapsed many times on the notion of having a night off and it's come back to bite me on the ass so I'd like to totally abstain and see how it goes. So far it's going well, really well:-)
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I had 3.5 years sober then picked up again knowing I was ok. Just drank on special occasions. No problem. Wasn't a big deal. Had a drink now and again. Fast forward 12 months and I was drinking every night again. It wasn't ok at all.
It sounds like you went through hell with withdrawals, meds hospital etc. Just out of interest - why did you pick up again? I do not mean this critically at all - I understand as have done it myself. But it crept up on me very slowly. Just wondered why you would potentially put yourself through that again and think it's ok.
If I can drink just at Christmas and Easter then I can't have a problem? Or so I thought. Or why would I want to drink at Christmas and Easter-what's the point? You say you'll have a pint now and again. What's the point after the pain you went through.
Please don't confuse cutting down for sobriety and recovery isn't having a few drinks now and again
It sounds like you went through hell with withdrawals, meds hospital etc. Just out of interest - why did you pick up again? I do not mean this critically at all - I understand as have done it myself. But it crept up on me very slowly. Just wondered why you would potentially put yourself through that again and think it's ok.
If I can drink just at Christmas and Easter then I can't have a problem? Or so I thought. Or why would I want to drink at Christmas and Easter-what's the point? You say you'll have a pint now and again. What's the point after the pain you went through.
Please don't confuse cutting down for sobriety and recovery isn't having a few drinks now and again
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
It sounds like she's left the site. I read a past post of hers where she says (about picking up)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...an-do-too.html (18 weeks minus a blip! Life is GREAT! You can do it too 😊)
I kind of feel like that's the whole point in not picking up that first drink. It doesn't really follow a logical predictable path for those of us who like it just a leetle too much.
That was just six months ago, so not 43 weeks. And then getting drunk on Easter? That would be three months ago? And then a pint. I'm not sure I'm following the timeline. I don't care how people keep track of their sober time, but the title of the thread is confusing.
Originally Posted by Purplepetals 
One glass of red, and then two and then I felt ok for more, and before I knew it I had woke up with that dreaded feeling of 'what did I do last night?!'
It's quite easy to overindulgence and get carried away at Christmas, we had friends over for a party!! Silly me!!
It's quite easy to overindulgence and get carried away at Christmas, we had friends over for a party!! Silly me!!
I kind of feel like that's the whole point in not picking up that first drink. It doesn't really follow a logical predictable path for those of us who like it just a leetle too much.
That was just six months ago, so not 43 weeks. And then getting drunk on Easter? That would be three months ago? And then a pint. I'm not sure I'm following the timeline. I don't care how people keep track of their sober time, but the title of the thread is confusing.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 437
Thanks Abraham!
I know I'm early days in my sobriety but even just thought of 'enjoying a pint'- in my head I'd be like "what's the point in one pint'- which is why in the past if I relapsed, I didn't go to the off licence and get 1 mini bottle, I bought 2-3full bottles and drank them in 1 night, or a bottle of vodka. There was no notion of one glass or one measure that would quench a thirst, my AV was for getting drunk to the point of a black out.
However that was the past and tonight my drink of choice is a chilled diet Coke (which is my fav soft drink)
I know I'm early days in my sobriety but even just thought of 'enjoying a pint'- in my head I'd be like "what's the point in one pint'- which is why in the past if I relapsed, I didn't go to the off licence and get 1 mini bottle, I bought 2-3full bottles and drank them in 1 night, or a bottle of vodka. There was no notion of one glass or one measure that would quench a thirst, my AV was for getting drunk to the point of a black out.
However that was the past and tonight my drink of choice is a chilled diet Coke (which is my fav soft drink)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
I hear you there zombie. And yea, nothing beats a nice chilled cola. I go the non diet route but same basic thing. Tastes better than beer and if you aren't getting a buzz why go the beer route. Its not like you are choosing it because its the better tasting of the choices out there.
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