brighterday1234

peaceful2

I wish it were that simple

MovingForward1

I'm doing my best to follow that concept. I know it's right, but it's not easy for me. thanks for the reminder of what needs to be first though! it's a good thing for me to read today!

tomls

It's not easy. At first it is very hard for most, I know it was for me. I still have brief thoughts about it but I know that I would not live very long and I would go through hell on my way to death. Life is really wonderful without the drugs and alcohol. Even the worst of days are so much better.

Abraham

Thats what they say.

August252015

It is.

It means saying no to things that seem more important, time wise or "obligation" wise, if they put your sobriety in jeopardy, particularly early on.
It means changing habits, thought processes, what you value and want in life maybe....and doing it sober every day, no matter what, til it becomes the new normal.
It means putting my recovery before my husband, whom I adore. Before the needs of aging parents. Before .... before... before. Because that allows me to have and do everything in life.

I say it all the time: the only reason I have everything good and beautiful in my perfectly imperfect life is because I'm sober.

More than that, I'm in recovery which is a lot different and far greater in terms of a life and worldview.

All this isn't easy. But it is that simple.

PeacefulWater12

I made my quit top priority too and worked at least as hard at it as I did at drinking.

If I return to drinking, everything else in my life will go.

I came to realise that working at recovery is far less work than the hard work of being a daily drinker.

DriGuy

As other's have pointed out, it's not easy. The concept is simple and easy, but the actual execution does require a drastic alteration in how we behave. I remember being faced with the overwhelming size and number of changes I was going to make to get sober. It's not just "don't drink anymore." You are going to be facing temptations, traps, triggers, peer pressure, and loved ones who have no clue about what alcoholism and recovery involve. So it's more than not drinking. Taking yourself out of harms way requires sacrifices like not going to that party, not going to a resturant where alcohol is served, planning weird escape routes where you effectively disappear without explanation, or not hanging out with that fun chick that likes to drink. The first response is to think you might find a compromise on some of these changes, what Bill Wilson refers to as "half measures;" Cut yourself some well deserved slack, without getting dysfunctionally anal about the whole thing, but this is the kind of no compromise zero tolerance that I realized I was going to be doing.

Zanna

I think it's worth pointing out that in the early days, you don't really imagine feeling any better or different and feel like it's always going to be a struggle.
It really isn't - it gets SO much easier as time goes on.
It's worth it - YOU are worth it.

brighterday1234

Hodd

August252015

^^Learning that I had to reframe "selfish" into "self care" was big. Understanding and facing the Big Book of AA concept of selfish./self centered, for example, could wait - it wasn't selfish to say no to invitations, not go places or do things, or spend time at meetings instead of anywhere else, or anything else I had to do to get sober, first, then begin living in recovery.

I didn't have an absolute line between the sober and in recovery part, for sure- but ALWAYS putting the sober choice, the safer choice, the[ ] choice over anything else was essential. All that stuff both became reflexive (ex- saying no to anything I don't want to do) and evolved. In TIME.

And by "time" I do not mean a few months or a year or .... I mean that things change, and getting secure and grateful (as least always says) in sobriety and where I am in recovery is a gift - that keeps going and growing....as long as it's my top priority.

Dee74

People tend to get annoyed when longer term members say quitting is simple.
They're right tho - I look back and the solution is blindingly simple - do not drink, make a life where you're happy .

But I remember it being anything but easy.

Drinking was my go to for everything. A lot of things had to change and that was difficult.

D

SoberRican

I feel ya. YOU are the number one now. Like they say do the right thing the rest will follow . ,

August252015

^^^It feels backwards, doesn't it? Then you start to realize how much sense it makes - and for me, it's the only way I can be good for others.

And- what Dee said - it was absolutely terrifying to think of life without alcohol. I don't always go into the memories of what it was like right when I quit but they are clear in my head. I had no idea how I was going to live without some amount of vodka in me 24/7 but I knew I didn't want to die. The mindblowing discoveries in sobriety are just...countless.

brighterday1234

DriGuy

There is a lot of stuff in recovery that seems counter intuitive. Maybe that's what makes it hard. Sometimes you have to do the opposite of what seems like you should do. And in the end, it doesn't feel the way you thought it would. My first AA meeting I expected a bunch of whiny long faces, but instead, everybody was happy. Go figure.