I hate myself I messed it all up can’t cope
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
I hate myself I messed it all up can’t cope
Yes I failed lost it went out. I hate myself done some more stuff. Tried to call local as nobody answering think they have had enough. Tried to call friends nobody answered or returned call or text. Guess I’m totally alone nobody even wants to talk to me. My old spider didn’t answer. Feel like the worse person. I listen sing to bob d on you tube feel sick waves of anxiety called and spoke to ex can’t remeber the convo feel so so so pathetic I threw it all away I hate me
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Thats a tough read but I'm with ya. Give it some time. Try and relax. Its just a feeling and it will pass. I try deep breathing. I'm sure folks will get back with you. Mean time post here. We'll listen.
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Have hobhope joe I thought this was it that I wants doing this again then I did it. No wonder everybody in my life run away I’m redicilous and how am I meant to live and get well I can barely bearethe I feel sooooo sick help me pollease in ecared
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Not sure what you are saying but I can tell you are feeling bad. Just know its just a emotion that will pass. Cant really tell whats bugging you but keep posting and it will pass. I think you are saying you are upset cuz you went out and drank. Personally I never did get that. If I go out and "slip" its does not bother me one bit. Its just a day where as I used to drink all day everyday. I look at it as progress. While it might not be what you were set out to do, going out and drinking once or once in a while is not that big of a deal. Its well within healthy range. I'm not saying to practice that but its how I look at it anyway. Just keep on keeping on and try to learn what it was that made you slip and try to correct it or keep it in mind for next time. Guess i'm going to have to ***** bob d surrender to see what that is all about. Thanks for the idea.
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Iv relapsed lots I am a serial relapser. I am very upset that I did it again iv let myself down and my kids. I can’t just drink and not feel like this afterwards because this is we’re it takes me mentally dark sadness anxiety regret and disgust. Yes I’m disgusted by myself. I begged people to speak to me people who don’t like me and that have told me to get out of their life’s. I’m broken
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Next time before you drink come here and talk about it. Re read this post first. Write yourself a note as to how drinking again will make you feel. These are just things I have learned in the last week. I've only been sober for 7 days now so I wont be of to much help. I know you should not be so hard on yourself. Not sure how often you relapse but I've read of people here relapsing over 100 times before they quit for good. this is my second try in over 25 years so you are doing better than me.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
I hated myself when I was drinking. 
That's how I woke up every day. But after I stopped drinking and my mood lifted, I didn't hate myself anymore. Please do whatever you can to stop drinking and I promise you things will get better. 
That's how I woke up every day. But after I stopped drinking and my mood lifted, I didn't hate myself anymore. Please do whatever you can to stop drinking and I promise you things will get better.
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