Day 2
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: France
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Day 2
cant believe I threw away my sobriety again, I was so proud of myself, and what for tiredness anxiety etc I wish to god I never picked up, anyone struggling today just don’t pick up, do anything to stop, it’s just not worth the insanity
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
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Your posts are very important, Mummy!
These first days are crucial in getting on the right track again. I have done many sober days only to think I deserved a break with a drink or two which never works. I begin again...and again... hoping it will get easier and that I have learned my lesson. But, the only lesson I have learned is to take it one day at a time.
These first days are crucial in getting on the right track again. I have done many sober days only to think I deserved a break with a drink or two which never works. I begin again...and again... hoping it will get easier and that I have learned my lesson. But, the only lesson I have learned is to take it one day at a time.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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Originally Posted by Mummyto2 
cant believe I threw away my sobriety again, I was so proud of myself, and what for tiredness anxiety etc I wish to god I never picked up, anyone struggling today just don’t pick up, do anything to stop, it’s just not worth the insanity
i feel you and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I am starting day 8 or countless tries and I have high hopes this time. You can do it. I assume by your name you are a mama, I am too and thinking of my daughter keeps me going. If it weren’t for her I’d give up. We support you and you are doing great.
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Thank you, yes my kids deserve a happy sober mum, not a wreck, I’ve got to just keep going and try and understand I can never ever pick up again, I felt fantastic being sober why the hell would I think it would be different this time, I just cut the grass to get some fresh air
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Join Date: Nov 2017
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I hear you. Been there, done that so many times. I think it's the nature of this illness. Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful. Alcoholism is the only illness in the world that tells us we don't have it.
14 months ago I just surrendered. I felt like I was lying on the floor , bruised and battered, with "king alcohol" standing with one foot on top of my back, twisting my arm behind me and just laughing, almost like, "now do you accept who is in charge?!". I just knew I would never beat it and that if I ever get back in the ring at any time I will take a pounding, and one I may not survive.
That is not to say that because I surrendered it was easy. Hell no! King alcohol still pops up in my head. When I am stressed, or happy, sad, or angry. Tempting me! Trying to cajole me into picking up. But now I know what will happen. I will be beaten. Again and again and again. And the tools I have learnt here on SR and in AA give me a powerful defence against those thoughts. So my thoughts dont have to become my actions.
Well done for posting and sharing. All my day ones were what eventually led me to the conclusion that I couldn't drink moderately or safely so they are not in vain. But make this your last one ever!
🙏❤🙏
14 months ago I just surrendered. I felt like I was lying on the floor , bruised and battered, with "king alcohol" standing with one foot on top of my back, twisting my arm behind me and just laughing, almost like, "now do you accept who is in charge?!". I just knew I would never beat it and that if I ever get back in the ring at any time I will take a pounding, and one I may not survive.
That is not to say that because I surrendered it was easy. Hell no! King alcohol still pops up in my head. When I am stressed, or happy, sad, or angry. Tempting me! Trying to cajole me into picking up. But now I know what will happen. I will be beaten. Again and again and again. And the tools I have learnt here on SR and in AA give me a powerful defence against those thoughts. So my thoughts dont have to become my actions.
Well done for posting and sharing. All my day ones were what eventually led me to the conclusion that I couldn't drink moderately or safely so they are not in vain. But make this your last one ever!
🙏❤🙏
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I think it's a pivotal moment when you can fully accept that you can never drink alcohol again, ever. For me, that was when my brain began to change and heal. You can do this Mummy.
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Originally Posted by Mummyto2
cant believe I threw away my sobriety again, I was so proud of myself, and what for tiredness anxiety etc I wish to god I never picked up, anyone struggling today just don’t pick up, do anything to stop, it’s just not worth the insanity
I am also on day 2. I was a month with no alcohol and then drank sensibly for a couple of weeks and began to think I'd recovered. It's the same trick I've played on myself so many times.
So on Saturday I got drunk, had a blackout and lost my mobile (another one).
I've made it to 4 months as a record so I was stupid to drink again. The sensible drinking for 2 weeks was such a high, and maybe it could have gone on for longer, but there's always a risk and it got me on Saturday.
I'm still feeling physically sick and mentally down from what has happened.
I really feel for you and know what it's like. You aren't alone and you can and will beat this. I want to beat it too, we all do and we all can. I still want to cry about what happened on Saturday, but I feel better than I did yesterday, so I'm feeling proud about that and you should feel proud too. You are better today than you were when you got drunk at the weekend.
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Yes, I am outside the school waiting for my son thinking everyone knows what you are, of course they don’t, I was giving myself a talk too as I was walking here, I dont ever need to feel this way again it’s like being on a hamster wheel, well I’m ready to get off the wheel I’m sick of feeling sick
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Yes, I am outside the school waiting for my son thinking everyone knows what you are, of course they don’t, I was giving myself a talk too as I was walking here, I dont ever need to feel this way again it’s like being on a hamster wheel, well I’m ready to get off the wheel I’m sick of feeling sick
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Originally Posted by Anna
I think it's a pivotal moment when you can fully accept that you can never drink alcohol again, ever. For me, that was when my brain began to change and heal. You can do this Mummy.
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Originally Posted by Mummyto2
Yes, I am outside the school waiting for my son thinking everyone knows what you are, of course they don’t, I was giving myself a talk too as I was walking here, I dont ever need to feel this way again it’s like being on a hamster wheel, well I’m ready to get off the wheel I’m sick of feeling sick
I experienced the exact feeling that you describe, that people in the theatre were looking at me and that they knew what had happened and that I had failed again.
I hope to get some good sleep tonight. Have a restful evening, mummy and get some needed sleep.
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Under what circumstances did you drink? Maybe you mentioned it in another post but at this point it seems very vague. I think looking at exactly what led up to you deciding that you could drink is a very important thing to do.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
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I'm starting to think that counting the days was a big factor. I think that it's a bad idea for me as the longer I don't drink, the more likely I am to think that I can handle it and drink sensibly. I need to think that I don't drink, that I can't drink and not that I've been sober for x days/weeks etc.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
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Originally Posted by August252015
Glad you are here on day 2. What's your plan for today?
You're right, we do need a daily plan. After a month I stopped making notes about how I felt and what I was going to do to avoid that first drink.
Thanks, August. That comment was just what I needed. (sorry for hijacking your thread, mummy). I need to keep making a plan about what to do and not just for a few weeks, it isn't something I will solve in a few weeks or months.
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Originally Posted by Mummyto2
All I can remember is thinking you got to 10 weeks so perhaps I can drink sensible NO I can’t I give in it gets me every time
May 29 - you posted about battling the demon and not drinking even though you had the urge to do so.
No posts for 2+ weeks.
June 16 - you posted about drinking again.
So in those two week or so you decided to start drinking again. Where did you drink? With who? Why didn't you post here?
This isn't something that "just happened." There were steps and decisions leading up to drinking again that, in my opinion, you need to examine clearly and deeply. You need to put yourself in a position to see the exact mental gymnastics you did to convince yourself it made sense for you to drink again. All this so that next time you are ready.
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