Day two done, day three underway, coping strategies
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 409
Day two done, day three underway, coping strategies
Good morning from California.
First, thanks to the wonderful, caring people on this site.
This last year has had a lot of ups and downs for me and I know now that I need to address more of the underlying issues driving me towards escape.
Curious about what strategies others are using to cope with the daily stress, anxiety and even the celebratory feelings that drive the excuse to drink?
And what about the work events, birthdays, anniversaries?
Maybe I am getting too far ahead of myself.
Have a wonderful Sunday.
First, thanks to the wonderful, caring people on this site.
This last year has had a lot of ups and downs for me and I know now that I need to address more of the underlying issues driving me towards escape.
Curious about what strategies others are using to cope with the daily stress, anxiety and even the celebratory feelings that drive the excuse to drink?
And what about the work events, birthdays, anniversaries?
Maybe I am getting too far ahead of myself.
Have a wonderful Sunday.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Yea, most say to go one day at a time or less. I found a ton of ideas just by reading other threads on this site. I just tell myself that I wanted to quit and I was starting to worry about health. No reason I would want to endanger my health. Thats enough for me. Read some of the recovery stories in that section and decide if you want to go there, or stay sober.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 103
You might find that the anxiety (and depression, for me) start to let up the longer you go without drinking. I suffered from both of those things terribly, and after just a few months of sobriety I saw a noticeable decrease in both. But I had to give it a chance to happen. That may or may not help you today, but it is something to look forward to at least!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
I worked with an addiction therapist and we talked about why I was drinking such a high volume of alcohol. One issue was my brain was relating everything that was fun or relaxing with alcohol. I literary had no idea how to either relax or enjoy myself without alcohol.
Time was the biggest factor in my brain learning how to relax and have fun sans booze. Motivation was key to staying sober. For example, when I got home from work I knew I could not drink no matter what. I had alcohol in the house because my wife still drinks, but I could not let that affect my sobriety.
Events were even more difficult. Around my 2 1/2 month mark I had to go to an out of town wedding for 5 days. Saying no to the wedding at this point was not an option. However, I knew before I left I would not drink. The wedding was a 5 day boozefest. Some moments were extreamly difficult. I posted to SR at least 10 times during the trip which really helped.
What concerned me most, was between 2 and 4 months, I would get actually get mad at myself for sobering up. I would think "why did I do this stupid sobriety thing? If I just never would have stopped drinking, never signed up for SR, never went to an addiction therapist, I could be at the bar getting drunk right now." However, even with those thoughts I knew I would not drink. Like it or not, I was now accountable to my therapist, my November SR class, and myself.
At about six months, I really turned a corner. I became very comfortable with my sobriety. I was reaping the benifits of not being dependent on any substance. I learned that I can both relax and have fun sober. I feel great and the cravings have greatly diminished. I went to another out of town wedding a couple of weeks ago. I had a great time and only had a passing thought about wanting a drink one time.
hang in there. I know the timetable for everyone is different but at some point we all get there.
Time was the biggest factor in my brain learning how to relax and have fun sans booze. Motivation was key to staying sober. For example, when I got home from work I knew I could not drink no matter what. I had alcohol in the house because my wife still drinks, but I could not let that affect my sobriety.
Events were even more difficult. Around my 2 1/2 month mark I had to go to an out of town wedding for 5 days. Saying no to the wedding at this point was not an option. However, I knew before I left I would not drink. The wedding was a 5 day boozefest. Some moments were extreamly difficult. I posted to SR at least 10 times during the trip which really helped.
What concerned me most, was between 2 and 4 months, I would get actually get mad at myself for sobering up. I would think "why did I do this stupid sobriety thing? If I just never would have stopped drinking, never signed up for SR, never went to an addiction therapist, I could be at the bar getting drunk right now." However, even with those thoughts I knew I would not drink. Like it or not, I was now accountable to my therapist, my November SR class, and myself.
At about six months, I really turned a corner. I became very comfortable with my sobriety. I was reaping the benifits of not being dependent on any substance. I learned that I can both relax and have fun sober. I feel great and the cravings have greatly diminished. I went to another out of town wedding a couple of weeks ago. I had a great time and only had a passing thought about wanting a drink one time.
hang in there. I know the timetable for everyone is different but at some point we all get there.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
Congrats on Day 3, Melski! You’re off to a great start.
For me, I spent the first week sober reading SR and cleaning whenever I got a craving. The physical activity of cleaning something, anything, helped to defeat the cravings in the moment. I also restricted my activities. I didn’t hang out with my drinking friends, I didn’t go places I associates with drinking. I didn’t spend time with my husband. Those steps were essential to me.
I found that my anxiety decreased the longer I stayed sober. I’m at one year now and my anxiety is almost gone - it peaks out here and there, but it’s nothing like it was while I was actively drinking or in the early sober days. With that said, everyone is different and some people do have underlying anxiety concerns that need to be addressed with a doctor.
I would suggest not worrying about the birthdays, anniversaries, work celebrations, etc right now. I spent a lot of time and energy “future tripping” and worrying about events. It caused me undue stress and anxiety. Most of what I thought “could happen” never came to pass anyhow. It’s also ok to not attend events right now, in order to protect yourself.
Have you given any thought to a recovery plan?
For me, I spent the first week sober reading SR and cleaning whenever I got a craving. The physical activity of cleaning something, anything, helped to defeat the cravings in the moment. I also restricted my activities. I didn’t hang out with my drinking friends, I didn’t go places I associates with drinking. I didn’t spend time with my husband. Those steps were essential to me.
I found that my anxiety decreased the longer I stayed sober. I’m at one year now and my anxiety is almost gone - it peaks out here and there, but it’s nothing like it was while I was actively drinking or in the early sober days. With that said, everyone is different and some people do have underlying anxiety concerns that need to be addressed with a doctor.
I would suggest not worrying about the birthdays, anniversaries, work celebrations, etc right now. I spent a lot of time and energy “future tripping” and worrying about events. It caused me undue stress and anxiety. Most of what I thought “could happen” never came to pass anyhow. It’s also ok to not attend events right now, in order to protect yourself.
Have you given any thought to a recovery plan?
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Day 3. Good job! I'm visiting my folks in Cali right now...my GAWD this place. How do people live here? I mean I did it for 40 years...how did I do that? Haha.
Sooo personally I'd keep it very simple right now. Mindfulness...stay right in the here and now. Engage in activities that support that....exercise, hiking, yoga, crafts or activities you enjoy using your hands.
Celebratory thinking can wait a while. I'd avoid situations with alcohol at least for a while.
Celebratory feelings don't drive the excuse to drink. You addiction tells you that. And there are no reasons to drink. I know I had sooo intertwined certain feelings and events with alcohol that I was just a push go toy. Birthday, drink. Sad, drink. Sports event, drink. That's just addiction.
I'd spend the next 30 days thinking more about unlearning this trigger/response thinking. Accepting that if you are alcoholic, you cannot drink. Its off the table. Unlearn old thinking patterns before relearning...which starts later....kind of a lot later.
Sooo personally I'd keep it very simple right now. Mindfulness...stay right in the here and now. Engage in activities that support that....exercise, hiking, yoga, crafts or activities you enjoy using your hands.
Celebratory thinking can wait a while. I'd avoid situations with alcohol at least for a while.
Celebratory feelings don't drive the excuse to drink. You addiction tells you that. And there are no reasons to drink. I know I had sooo intertwined certain feelings and events with alcohol that I was just a push go toy. Birthday, drink. Sad, drink. Sports event, drink. That's just addiction.
I'd spend the next 30 days thinking more about unlearning this trigger/response thinking. Accepting that if you are alcoholic, you cannot drink. Its off the table. Unlearn old thinking patterns before relearning...which starts later....kind of a lot later.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 409
Thanks for all the support and great ideas.
Went to yoga, cleaned and went out to work with horses today.
End of day three and had a mild craving but got past it.
Going to stay in and relax and back to work and day four tomorrow.
Happy Sunday
Went to yoga, cleaned and went out to work with horses today.
End of day three and had a mild craving but got past it.
Going to stay in and relax and back to work and day four tomorrow.
Happy Sunday
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: SPb Russia
Posts: 184
So Glad to see you coing and getting through craving.
I am just over 1 week, and for me it is so good to see other peoples get through cravings. I have plans for what I do when craving hits me... I have movies to watch, I have freezer with Plombir (Ice cream), and clean sheets on bed.
But, the big thing for me is to hear other people, mybe many thousand kilometer away , in diffferent countries also, also going through same problems and winning, This is says to me that I can get through this also. So here is from Russia to California... we can get through this together,
I am just over 1 week, and for me it is so good to see other peoples get through cravings. I have plans for what I do when craving hits me... I have movies to watch, I have freezer with Plombir (Ice cream), and clean sheets on bed.
But, the big thing for me is to hear other people, mybe many thousand kilometer away , in diffferent countries also, also going through same problems and winning, This is says to me that I can get through this also. So here is from Russia to California... we can get through this together,
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Melski,
I try to go for a walk, or get some sort of exercise after work each day, it helps to clear my head. I have also found mindfulness to be really helpful. There are lots of apps and YouTube videos that can help you try out some mindfulness techniques.
I also always have lots of sparkling water, green tea, and other drinks I like at home, I enjoy those at night instead of wine.
I try to go for a walk, or get some sort of exercise after work each day, it helps to clear my head. I have also found mindfulness to be really helpful. There are lots of apps and YouTube videos that can help you try out some mindfulness techniques.
I also always have lots of sparkling water, green tea, and other drinks I like at home, I enjoy those at night instead of wine.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,426
Curious about what strategies others are using to cope with the daily stress, anxiety and even the celebratory feelings that drive the excuse to drink?
And what about the work events, birthdays, anniversaries?
Maybe I am getting too far ahead of myself.
And what about the work events, birthdays, anniversaries?
Maybe I am getting too far ahead of myself.
All that other 'what if?' stuff has a way of working out
congrats on day 3
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 290
Thank you, melski, for this thread and to everyone who responded! I feel like this is helping me grab a hold of sobriety more tightly by seeing what tools people are actually using. I haven't what I'd call a craving yet, but remembered the sensation of wanting to drink when walking or driving by a "trigger spot" the past couple days (the signpost I used to pass on the way home from work where I'd make the final decision to drink that night, for example.)
I think I'm going to get back in to martial arts after a 25 year break, so that's giving me a concrete goal to stay sober for. I've been pausing when resentments creep in and calling them out for what they are, and journaling if I can. But mostly I'm still just enjoying each day sober and all the little good things in it. Day 13 today. Things feel like they're flattening out, but not "down."
I think I'm going to get back in to martial arts after a 25 year break, so that's giving me a concrete goal to stay sober for. I've been pausing when resentments creep in and calling them out for what they are, and journaling if I can. But mostly I'm still just enjoying each day sober and all the little good things in it. Day 13 today. Things feel like they're flattening out, but not "down."
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