Help please
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Help please
Struggling today. Av is shouting at me. Feel low. I am very lonely especially hits me at weekends. I got to accept my current sutiation and I do know taking a drink will not help at all. Just putting it out there as I do not want to go back. 3 months now and feels like things are not getting better. Went to meeting yesterday that helped. Feel like this is it for the rest of my life. Sorry for moaning
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Can you get to a meeting today, too?
Delay, distract, decide. Try finding activities to could get your mind off of the substance. Also check HALT - hungry, angry, lonely, tired. You mentioned lonely - can you call someone? Text someone?
This malaise will pass, believe in your ability. You've made it 3 months, that's absolutely brilliant. Stay strong, Eve!
Delay, distract, decide. Try finding activities to could get your mind off of the substance. Also check HALT - hungry, angry, lonely, tired. You mentioned lonely - can you call someone? Text someone?
This malaise will pass, believe in your ability. You've made it 3 months, that's absolutely brilliant. Stay strong, Eve!
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Have you been making program calls? I call 3 people a day, even if its just a text. It takes me out of my self and they usually cheer me on. N serious congratulations on 3 months!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi Eve
I'm sorry you're struggling.
it took me 2 months before I felt the clouds lift mood wise and then a lot longer while I started to build a sober life I loved.
What about making some plans to do things on the weekend - things you'll enjoy but that need not include alcohol?
D
I'm sorry you're struggling.
it took me 2 months before I felt the clouds lift mood wise and then a lot longer while I started to build a sober life I loved.
What about making some plans to do things on the weekend - things you'll enjoy but that need not include alcohol?
D
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Hi Eve, just remember that everything passes. This feeling will not last forever even though I am sure it feels like it right now. I had days where I felt the same at 3 months but I can assure you it will get better and you will feel like this less and less the more sober time you get. Keep fighting the good fight as you are worth it and try doing some self care today, bubble bath, clean bedsheets etc as that might help lift your spirits a little x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by eve123 
Struggling today. Av is shouting at me. Feel low. I am very lonely especially hits me at weekends. I got to accept my current sutiation and I do know taking a drink will not help at all. Just putting it out there as I do not want to go back. 3 months now and feels like things are not getting better. Went to meeting yesterday that helped. Feel like this is it for the rest of my life. Sorry for moaning
You are not moaning, you are sharing. And that is brilliant!
It is normal to have thoughts like these. We are alcoholics! It is what we do with these thoughts that are important and you are doing all the right things, sharing, posting, going to a meeting, playing the tape forward.
I am 14 months sober and I felt like this yesterday. I just felt really flat, I have had a chest infection that I am just getting over so that didn't.help, but I felt flat,bored and had that 'Is this i" kind of thing going on in my head. A drink started fo seem really appealing. I know that alcohol is not an option now so I shared with my sponsor what was going on, I got home, watched a movie and had a bath and an early night and I have woken today so grateful I am not "back there". Some days are definitely better than others. Not every day is going to be amazing and full of the joys of spring! However, even my crap days sober are 100x better than being hungover, full of guilt and shame and remorse.
I find weekends quite hard room I am a single.mum with a 7 year old and my weekends would be spent in the pub with drinking friends whilst the kids played. The key (for me) is to find fun, non drinking things to do. Go for a nice walk, swim, see a film, feed the ducks, for me I am going rollerblading today eek! My daughter got skates for her birthday so I bought some rollerblades and we are gonna go to the park and I will get in touch with my inner child. Hopefully I wont break my neck Haha.
You are doing great. 3 months is amazing. I hope you have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 290
Thank you for sharing this, Eve! I been feeling similar the past couple days. I'm only on Day 12. It helps me to see someone at 3 months come on here and be real. At least I know if everything's not all sunshine and roses in a couple weeks/months, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm doing something wrong or that I'm the only one who feels like that.
I struggle to let people in to my life at a close, real level. I don't know your specific situation, but what you shared is deep stuff and isn't easy. I sure wouldn't call it "moaning!"
It's folks like you being real on here that helps me get through the lonely spots a little easier. I can't suggest anything wiser than what everyone else already posted. I only know for me that, while this forum might not complete the need for family and friends for the rest of my life, it sure can help with a few lonely hours/days!
And I'm slowly learning that I don't have to have the whole plan for the rest of my life mapped out anyway.
Hope things start lifting for you soon!
I struggle to let people in to my life at a close, real level. I don't know your specific situation, but what you shared is deep stuff and isn't easy. I sure wouldn't call it "moaning!"
It's folks like you being real on here that helps me get through the lonely spots a little easier. I can't suggest anything wiser than what everyone else already posted. I only know for me that, while this forum might not complete the need for family and friends for the rest of my life, it sure can help with a few lonely hours/days!And I'm slowly learning that I don't have to have the whole plan for the rest of my life mapped out anyway.
Hope things start lifting for you soon!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 348
Hello, Eve.
In the beginning of my recovery, I read my Big Book a lot, a whole lot. I've seen sober 21 years and I still read the book. One of my favorite stories, "The Keys of the Kingdom," really helped me.
I remember the thoughts of is it ever going to get better. I think that's pretty normal. I still have those thoughts today, but I recognize them for what they are, just thoughts. When my mind goes there, I take some kind of action, any action, do laundry, clean something, and pray.
You're going to be all right. Congratulations on three months. Take some action to work through your feelings and it'll pass. It always does.
In the beginning of my recovery, I read my Big Book a lot, a whole lot. I've seen sober 21 years and I still read the book. One of my favorite stories, "The Keys of the Kingdom," really helped me.
I remember the thoughts of is it ever going to get better. I think that's pretty normal. I still have those thoughts today, but I recognize them for what they are, just thoughts. When my mind goes there, I take some kind of action, any action, do laundry, clean something, and pray.
You're going to be all right. Congratulations on three months. Take some action to work through your feelings and it'll pass. It always does.
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Thank you all soooo much for yesyeterday . I got through the day. I went for a 10 mile run then watched movies with my daughter and had a take out meal. By the end of the day I couldn’t imagine having a drink. But this scared me because I woke up at 6 in the morning and was acctually contemplating getting a bottle!! How insane is that. I played tape forwards it would have ended in tears. I did that once before woke up and went to shop really early after a sober period of a few good months. The day was a disaster and by mid morning I had created horrendous consequenses and verbally attacked my boyfriend at the time. I remember that if I had one bottle then I would want another! I dread to think what state I would have been in last night had I done that. Makes me feel sick thinking about it. Today I wake up and my only consequenses are sore muscles from my 10 mile run! Thank you!! I’m grateful but it has scared me into realising I need to up my commitment to recovery
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
That’s great eve! Playing the tape forward was a crucial tool for me too! Really happy you got through it and just know it will get easier the more times you put your foot down against the AV and say no! Have a super sober Sunday x
Terrific Eve 
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