zeuz

Had a fairly good night sleep. I've already started fighting the demons. I'm already looking for ways I can sneak a drink early enough for the buzz and smell to dissipate before heading home.

I'm staying busy. Listening to a recovery podcast and keep distracting myself.

sammymaguire

Is anybody waiting for you at home?

Atlast9999

CupofJoe

Stay the course and you'll get through it. It might help to hang out here and post. Sometimes encouraging other people used to help remind me why I needed and wanted to stay sober.

The demons are nothing but ghosts in your mind. Not to underplay the difficulty of early sobriety, but you can stay sober, no matter what your brain tells you.

If you start feeling tempted, it might help to post about what you're struggling with, too. Or call someone.

Wishing you all the best.

nadt

Hello, zuez. I'm glad you posted. Keep fighting through your day.

zeuz

My beautiful wife and two daughters 7 and 9

zeuz

No detailed plan perse. I'm reading a lot and getting ideas. Right now I can't focus on a specific plan but I'm open to suggestions from anyone here.

sammymaguire

For me it was all about the negative consequences. I could not handle them any more. I dont have another blackout in me. The coping tank is genuinely empty and if that is the case then you have to stop. What do you hate most about drinking? Does any of it traumatise you?

Abraham

Does your wife drink? Does she know you drink? Just curious. Best to have her know I think. I dont think I could do it if my wife did not know. I'm 4 days in now and I dont regret it one bit. And I drank all day every day almost a fifth of rum a day while at home laid off. which is where I am now while my wife is at work. And school is out so my 9 year old is here with me. Its nice to be sober. Trust me. Your wife and kids and your health will benefit. Hell I'm just on here posting to help myself get through this but nothing I say is a lie.

zeuz

I've blacked out many of times. My last blackout (this past Saturday) I face planted myself nicely running away from an ambulance that was trying to help me. I came too and was bloodied almost head to toe. no real injuries other than lots of road rash on my face, lip, elbows and knees. I can't keep coming home all beat up. I'm pretty sure I've hit rock bottom.

zeuz

She does know I drink. I seem to be able to maintain 'social' drinking, a glass of wine or cocktail. It's when I would go on solo binging that I would literally just down half pint of vodka take a sip of coke and off I went.

I want to be sober. I'm going to be sober. Day 3 starts soon.

nadt

Way to have a positive attitude, zuez! You've got this! Each day gets a little better.

Hevyn

You are going to do this, zuez. It's going to get so much better. You sound determined, & ready for a better life.

BrianK

I think that right there is a fantastic beginning of a plan, and one that doesn't come easy to folks like us!

Dee74

I recommend a recovery action plan - some pretty good ideas here:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

sammymaguire

How ru today?

zeuz

Made it through the day. Today is day 3. Thank you for asking! How are you today?

sammymaguire

Good. Just read a book called Drunk mom. Its all about blackouts and parenting. I dont have kids but I could hardly bear to read the chapters on blackouts. Too raw. I would recommend the book..available on Amazon. It might lodge in your head the next time you are tempted to go on a solo binge!

Hevyn

3 days is great, zuez. I began to feel much better after that.

nadt

Hey, Zuez. I'm glad things are going well for you. Made it to day 3...nice!!!