Back at it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Back at it
Ive been in a relapse for over a year. I dont have excuses and reasons as to why I relapsed. I wasnt strong enough to get through the negative place I found myself in while being sober.
I am back in that negative place but its not due to sobriety. I have an issue with living life. I need help. Lots of it.
I can make it back to being sober and gain confidence again. I can do this. Please dont give up on me. I will check in later when I am on my lunch.
I really do appreciate the support. Always have
I am back in that negative place but its not due to sobriety. I have an issue with living life. I need help. Lots of it.
I can make it back to being sober and gain confidence again. I can do this. Please dont give up on me. I will check in later when I am on my lunch.
I really do appreciate the support. Always have
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Been waiting to see you back here Mizz! You were someone who gave me lots of support many times on my path to the sobriety I finally achieved. I know you have it in you as well
Really happy to see you back here.
Really happy to see you back here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Planet Earth (most days)
Posts: 1,596
Hey, hey. We joined these forums at the same time in August 2012. Nice to see you back. I've been struggling, too, but I'm on day 16 so I think anything is possible. If I can do it, so can you. 
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Hi Mizzuno, Welcome Back!! One thing I realized is the good people on SR will never give up on us! People in my real life stopped taking me seriously when I said I was quitting. But people on SR took me serious, even before I realized how serious I was this time. SR is great and so are you for not giving up on yourself *hugs*
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I want and desperately need to be positive about this transition. I cant go into this with the same mindset as last time.
I cant quit when it gets hard and I know I need to address the moods I find myself in.
So theres that.
Thanks for being here.
I appreciate you all and appreciate the journey.
I cant quit when it gets hard and I know I need to address the moods I find myself in.
So theres that.
Thanks for being here.
I appreciate you all and appreciate the journey.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
I am really happy you are back Mizz--you certainly can do this.
What sort of changes to your sobriety plan do you think would help build a "first line of defense" when the negative stuff kicks in?
I've been going outside and bit by bit turning over some hard sod and making a little flower / herb / ornamental grass garden. My rule is I have to go plant something if I feel stress or temptation.
It's working pretty well. I'm filling the garden with plants I get marked down in the "discount" bin which are slated for the trash if not sold, so there's good karma and thriftiness all combined.
You know the drill--get some sober weeks built up and it gets easier.
Post often, and let us help.
Missed you Mizz
What sort of changes to your sobriety plan do you think would help build a "first line of defense" when the negative stuff kicks in?
I've been going outside and bit by bit turning over some hard sod and making a little flower / herb / ornamental grass garden. My rule is I have to go plant something if I feel stress or temptation.
It's working pretty well. I'm filling the garden with plants I get marked down in the "discount" bin which are slated for the trash if not sold, so there's good karma and thriftiness all combined.
You know the drill--get some sober weeks built up and it gets easier.
Post often, and let us help.
Missed you Mizz
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
I am really happy you are back Mizz--you certainly can do this.
What sort of changes to your sobriety plan do you think would help build a "first line of defense" when the negative stuff kicks in?
I've been going outside and bit by bit turning over some hard sod and making a little flower / herb / ornamental grass garden. My rule is I have to go plant something if I feel stress or temptation.
It's working pretty well. I'm filling the garden with plants I get marked down in the "discount" bin which are slated for the trash if not sold, so there's good karma and thriftiness all combined.
You know the drill--get some sober weeks built up and it gets easier.
Post often, and let us help.
Missed you Mizz
What sort of changes to your sobriety plan do you think would help build a "first line of defense" when the negative stuff kicks in?
I've been going outside and bit by bit turning over some hard sod and making a little flower / herb / ornamental grass garden. My rule is I have to go plant something if I feel stress or temptation.
It's working pretty well. I'm filling the garden with plants I get marked down in the "discount" bin which are slated for the trash if not sold, so there's good karma and thriftiness all combined.
You know the drill--get some sober weeks built up and it gets easier.
Post often, and let us help.
Missed you Mizz
Changes:
I have to figure out these moods I get into and the anxiety I experience. Im not bi polar. I do suffer from depressive episodes. This past winter and spring were so dark for me. I compounded the anxiety and the depression by consuming alcohol. Its a cycle.
I dont have the best coping skills to be honest.
I get obsessive about certain things and fixate on the wrong things instead of staying in my own lane. .... Like when it comes to my marriage and the sobriety.
Its not hard for me to get sober. Its hard for me to stay sober after months.
I am miserable when I drink and Im also kinda miserable when Im sober. After a spell of sobriety I just dont have it in me to continue being sober.
Alcoholism is really the ******* worse.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: New England
Posts: 1,224
Welcome back Mizz. I hope you can find what you need to. I find myself falling desperately lost or miserable at times. I've also recognized that alcohol keeps me there longer than it should. I can't say I can always stay sober but I know the inner peace lasts as long as I do.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
so glad to see you back, Mizz.
my own experience this time around was that i could quit and stay that way but was getting increasingly edgier, miserable, more easily irritated et cetera... this took a while. in that while, i made some forays into AA, omg couldn’t staaaand it, after more whiles(quite a few), i understood that doing that stuff might give me a good shot at overcoming some of that misery and living in such a way that it might not return.
it worked for me.
that you can do this.....of that i have no doubt.
my own experience this time around was that i could quit and stay that way but was getting increasingly edgier, miserable, more easily irritated et cetera... this took a while. in that while, i made some forays into AA, omg couldn’t staaaand it, after more whiles(quite a few), i understood that doing that stuff might give me a good shot at overcoming some of that misery and living in such a way that it might not return.
it worked for me.
that you can do this.....of that i have no doubt.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Originally Posted by fini
so glad to see you back, Mizz.
my own experience this time around was that i could quit and stay that way but was getting increasingly edgier, miserable, more easily irritated et cetera... this took a while. in that while, i made some forays into AA, omg couldn’t staaaand it, after more whiles(quite a few), i understood that doing that stuff might give me a good shot at overcoming some of that misery and living in such a way that it might not return.
it worked for me.
that you can do this.....of that i have no doubt.
my own experience this time around was that i could quit and stay that way but was getting increasingly edgier, miserable, more easily irritated et cetera... this took a while. in that while, i made some forays into AA, omg couldn’t staaaand it, after more whiles(quite a few), i understood that doing that stuff might give me a good shot at overcoming some of that misery and living in such a way that it might not return.
it worked for me.
that you can do this.....of that i have no doubt.
I maintained for 8 to 9 months. ..... Got miserable.
I then relapsed.
Got sober for a year. Then miserable
Relapsed.
Got sober for a year. Or a few days shy of a year.. Then miserable
Relapsed.
Got sober yesterday...... Not feeling miserable. Just give me a year though. ....or a few days shy of a year ..
See where i am going with this?
Im sober tonight. That can be enough.
Ill be thinking of AA or meetings or something in the morning.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I was miserable sober too - so I'd go back to drinking...and I was still miserable. Even more miserable.
For me to stay sober I had to stop drinking and work out what I needed to do to stop being miserable.
It may be a medication thing, it may be a lifestyle thing...it may be a therapy thing...but whatever way, you deserve to be not miserable Mizz.
D
For me to stay sober I had to stop drinking and work out what I needed to do to stop being miserable.
It may be a medication thing, it may be a lifestyle thing...it may be a therapy thing...but whatever way, you deserve to be not miserable Mizz.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Originally Posted by Dee74
I was miserable sober too - so I'd go back to drinking...and I was still miserable. Even more miserable.
For me to stay sober I had to stop drinking and work out what I needed to do to stop being miserable.
It may be a medication thing, it may be a lifestyle thing...it may be a therapy thing...but whatever way, you deserve to be not miserable Mizz.
D
For me to stay sober I had to stop drinking and work out what I needed to do to stop being miserable.
It may be a medication thing, it may be a lifestyle thing...it may be a therapy thing...but whatever way, you deserve to be not miserable Mizz.
D
Its too soon to tell what it is. Id rather not over analyze. I think the over thinking is really an issue for me. This may have been one of my bigger problems last go round. There was also a perfect storm of great loss. Not an excuse at all. I fell.
one day at a time.
My only misery at the moment is that it is horribly hot. Our homes here are not equipped with air conditioners because its never hot enough for that nonsense. ......until yesterday. I think the world just might be coming to an end, guys!
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