Day 1
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Day 1
Hi everyone well i messed up again and have been drinking but im so fed up now of this pointless stupid cycle, I'm tired of being tired and feeling ill.
Day 1 again i hope i can do it this time. Im 40 on Thursday i want a better life.
Day 1 again i hope i can do it this time. Im 40 on Thursday i want a better life.
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Originally Posted by nadt 
Hi, Tink! The cycle is horrible--glad you decided to start your way out. I'm just starting back out too. Day 6 for me. I've found this group very helpful and supportive.
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 290
Welcome! Just celebrated Day 7 and I turn 41 in a few weeks. Been battling this thing all my adult life but never used this forum actively as an aid in the fight. I kinda feel like you: fed up with the cycle. But also, I just got nothing left. Maybe it has to do with reflecting on midlife and asking, "What am I working towards?" Yeah, I might be able to get away with drinking a few more years, but I'd still be where I am now, and I've had sober moments where I've tasted a higher life and realize it's truly possible to be joyous and free. I finally said, "Ok God, I'm not gonna drink, and I know You'll handle the rest." And knew to my core that I meant it. Peace!!!
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
My day 1 also. I am just starting the cycle for my first time. But at 47 and 25 years of drinking I am done. Its either that or live a crappy life and die early. Thats not a good option. Its not an opinion, its a fact that we will get sicker and more unhealthy till we stop. Well wishes to you.
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Originally Posted by Tinkerbeau
Hi everyone well i messed up again and have been drinking but im so fed up now of this pointless stupid cycle, I'm tired of being tired and feeling ill.
Day 1 again i hope i can do it this time. Im 40 on Thursday i want a better life.
Day 1 again i hope i can do it this time. Im 40 on Thursday i want a better life.
I quit when I was 40. My 40s have been so much better than my 30s, when my alcoholism really took me down. It's worth everything you can put into quitting and recovering.
Sending good thoughts your way.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 120
You can do this!! I am turning 40 on Friday and that was one thing I told myself that I would not being doing, drinking. I have 55 days today and if I can do it you can too! Keep posting, reading, reaching out. We got this!!
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Congrats on not giving up!
I’m on day 24 after many failed attempts over a decade. But this time I’m putting my money where my mouth is, I’m going to meetings, getting numbers, calling and texting people, posting on here, listening to sobriety stories on youtube and even oraying. Im all in Tink. Can’t wait to see more posts from you
I’m on day 24 after many failed attempts over a decade. But this time I’m putting my money where my mouth is, I’m going to meetings, getting numbers, calling and texting people, posting on here, listening to sobriety stories on youtube and even oraying. Im all in Tink. Can’t wait to see more posts from you
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Thank you all for your support, understanding and kind words. Its so hard keep having to admit i have failed again but knowing you all won't judge me but offer help and advice makes me feel that bit better, i hate lettinh you all down but i am determined to do this.
my 30's have been extremely hard for different reasons i desperately want my 40's to be a new life
my 30's have been extremely hard for different reasons i desperately want my 40's to be a new life
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 290
I don't see it as a let-down. I appreciate you being honest enough to come on here and acknowledge the truth. I've had MANY Day 1's over the past 20 years, and hearing everyone share helps me remember that if I get overconfident (this is my issue; not implying it's what you did ), I'll be lucky to get another Day 1 (Day 8 now, largely because of you people and your support 
)
Reading your post and reflecting reminded me of Thomas Merton's prayer, The Road Ahead. He's been a huge influence in my life and, whatever you believe, I feel like the overall "movement" of the prayer is universal:
), I'll be lucky to get another Day 1 (Day 8 now, largely because of you people and your support )Reading your post and reflecting reminded me of Thomas Merton's prayer, The Road Ahead. He's been a huge influence in my life and, whatever you believe, I feel like the overall "movement" of the prayer is universal:
My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think that I am following
your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Amen.
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think that I am following
your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Amen.
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