honeypig

I stumbled across this article posted in the "Newcomers" section earlier today and wanted to share it here, too. I'd be surprised if there wasn't something in it that resonated with almost anyone in this part of the forum...

https://brenebrown.com/articles/2019...s-meant-to-me/

mylifeismine

Thanks HP. Even though I have her book "the gift of imperfection" I did
not realize she had addictions. Maybe I read too fast

August252015

Brene Brown is someone I had already admired and appreciated for the very real and compassionate and helpful way she teaches us. Daring Greatly and the concept of shame resilience was my first introduction to her work. It was only a couple of years ago that I learned she was in recovery and my admiration just grew exponentially.

I've shared this piece in many places. Universal identification in some ways!!

Eauchiche

AWESOME article!!!!
It sounds like she and I have some common experience about drinking. People ask me if I can have 1 glass of wine. My pat answer is that I CAN, but choose not to.

suncatcher

Amazing article! Thank you for sharing! I loved what she said about helping is the sunny side of control and not getting your help all over everybody or something to that affect! Needed this today.

suncatcher

I need to read her books!

Glenjo99

Love this. "Help is the sunny side of control. Stop helping so much. Don’t get your help and goodness all over everybody.”

So interesting to read this, particularly as my own anxiety has been hitting huge heights lately, I think particularly because I have no one person to obsess over and I am feeling exposed and left with only me. I over eat to deal with anxiety. I reach for sugary, chocolate, wine gums and junk to take the edge off of my anxiety. I'm aware I do this, I need to look at my briar patch.

suncatcher

Glenjo that is the part of the article that resonated with me also. Wow is that ever what I needed to read today. So much good information in these threads.

trailmix

Yes, that same line stood out for me too, it's so true.

honeypig

That line about help was the first thing that smacked me in the head in the article, too. "Help" as it applies to what I am often tempted to do or actually do for other people--maybe not the best course, in at least some cases. "Help" as in XAH doing things for me--while some are much appreciated and helpful to me, it's becoming increasingly clear that others are controlling.

The learning and understanding is ongoing. Sometimes the situation is changing, sometimes what I see and how I see it is changing. I often refer back to this thread, and maybe some of you will find it useful too:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-learning.html (Spirals of Learning)

FireSprite

Great share honeypig; I got this on an email blast - she recently started doing a wonderful TGIF one every Friday. It actually stands for Trust, Gratitude, Inspiration & Fun & she shares her weekly thoughts on each of those topics.

Not only has her work impacted my recovery tremendously, she's led me to SO many other resources that I don't know where I'd be without having taken that first step & listening to Daring Greatly on audio.

Game-Changer.

suncatcher

Thank you for sharing Honeypig! I think I am in a learning spiral. What I didn't see last time I was here has revealed itself this time around. I think maybe I just wasn't quite ready to do the extra work and reflection or I just didn't realize my "helping" was a problem. My new goal for myself is to only help when asked. I am learning so much here and I think while I shed some layers before I am getting to the surface now. Your posts and others have been very helpful! I would like to read the blog you mentioned also if you wouldn't mind sharing the link. I feel like a sponge wanting to soak up all the info I can! Thanks again!

honeypig

Are you looking for the link to Deborah Robson's blog, the source of the "Spirals of Learning" post, suncatcher? Here it is: https://independentstitch.com/blog

It's not a recovery-oriented blog, just so you know. She is a shepherd, hand spinner and knitter, and that is the focus of the blog. But you never know when/where you're going to find a recovery gem...

suncatcher

One more thing, I sometimes feel obligated to help my friend because he has also helped me in the past. I relate to your circumstance. Sometimes it feels like a toxic dance, sometimes it feels like we just have each others back when times get tough. Slippery slope.

suncatcher

Thank you for the link HP! I actually may find it interesting as I would like to learn to knit! I am wanting to learn new things to try and occupy my time. I will still check it out and I thank you!

suncatcher

May need to start with a how to video to learn to knit first! 😃

honeypig

Yes, kind of like that song about "starting at the very beginning, a very good place to start!"

For myself, I found that crocheting was easier as I only had to handle one implement, not too, but you are likely more coordinated than I am (99% of the world is, I think!).

suncatcher

Oh no definately not coordinated ...crochet may have to come before knitting for me... baby steps! 😊