Going solo for a while
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 598
Going solo for a while
I tried another normal Friday afternoon lunch with friends today. It did not work. I am simply unable to socialise sober yet. I am either bored or irritated by the company. It is not their fault.
I will say no in the nicest possible way for the foreseeable future.
I will say no in the nicest possible way for the foreseeable future.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 469
In the beginning you have to say "no" a lot. It will get easier as time progresses and you are more comfortable being sober. I had a year under my belt before, and I would say around 9 months I started feeling good enough to be around people drinking.
Today is my Day 2 so I'll be saying "no" a lot myself.
Today is my Day 2 so I'll be saying "no" a lot myself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
A common question on this forum is how do you "make up" an excuse to not go to a social event.
I'll tell you how, say no. Your sobriety is far more important than the next party or luncheon. Parties and luncheons have gone on for hundreds of years and will continue. As alcoholics, we have to choose to not participate in those events. Wish you the best.
I'll tell you how, say no. Your sobriety is far more important than the next party or luncheon. Parties and luncheons have gone on for hundreds of years and will continue. As alcoholics, we have to choose to not participate in those events. Wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Ideally, it would be nice if we could just stop drinking and continue to participate in our old environment.
Having actually typed that out, I am immediately aware of two undeniable objections to my own statement. First, alcoholism seldom works that way no matter how much we wish we could keep doing what we were doing. Second, hanging out with the same people in my old haunts? I can't really find much nice about that. There are exceptions to this. Some of those people were actually true friends, and I would have to make risk assessments on a case by case basis before meeting up with them again. Eventually, I could do that, but early on, I chose to put those kinds of friendships on hold until I became more confident.
Having actually typed that out, I am immediately aware of two undeniable objections to my own statement. First, alcoholism seldom works that way no matter how much we wish we could keep doing what we were doing. Second, hanging out with the same people in my old haunts? I can't really find much nice about that. There are exceptions to this. Some of those people were actually true friends, and I would have to make risk assessments on a case by case basis before meeting up with them again. Eventually, I could do that, but early on, I chose to put those kinds of friendships on hold until I became more confident.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
sounds like a good decision and you are making it for the right reasons: it is based on your own experience and you are taking good care of what is precious to you.
maybe plan something nice for yourself for those days when you would have previously gone to lunch with these folk....you get to do all kinds of cool stuff, solo or not.
maybe plan something nice for yourself for those days when you would have previously gone to lunch with these folk....you get to do all kinds of cool stuff, solo or not.
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