Tired of Public Acceptance of Alcohol
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 135
Tired of Public Acceptance of Alcohol
Here’s my rant for today: just started watching Dead To Me on Netflix. The character played by Christina Applegate states in first episode that she won’t take any pills for sleeping because she doesn’t want to be “one of those Xanax/ambien zombie moms.” Very next scene is shown drinking a glass of wine at supper with her children. Smdh
yesterday, I showed up to my drug court office for a random urinalysis. I tested positive for my prescribed Xanax, which I take for anxiety and PTSD, and am on a small dose and don’t abuse it. (Which is fine, I am allowed to take it.) We have a new guy running the whole show there who kind of shook HIS head and said something like, “I wish they never would have come out with things like this...” I happen to know this guy. He is a drinker, often too much. I’ve witnessed him completely out of control wasted, though many years ago. I know people can change, but I also know he currently still drinks too much. He is in charge of drug court.
I wish I would have been quick-thinking enough at the time to respond to him, “I wish they would have never come out with alcohol.” That’s my truth.
Oh! And now they are smoking weed on Dead To Me.
Ok, rant over.
To each their their own I guess.
almost 10 months sober. From alcohol. My demon. Because I’m sure there will be a few of you now who will weigh in and say I’m not sober if I take Xanax.
But I consider myself sober.
yesterday, I showed up to my drug court office for a random urinalysis. I tested positive for my prescribed Xanax, which I take for anxiety and PTSD, and am on a small dose and don’t abuse it. (Which is fine, I am allowed to take it.) We have a new guy running the whole show there who kind of shook HIS head and said something like, “I wish they never would have come out with things like this...” I happen to know this guy. He is a drinker, often too much. I’ve witnessed him completely out of control wasted, though many years ago. I know people can change, but I also know he currently still drinks too much. He is in charge of drug court.
I wish I would have been quick-thinking enough at the time to respond to him, “I wish they would have never come out with alcohol.” That’s my truth.
Oh! And now they are smoking weed on Dead To Me.
Ok, rant over.
To each their their own I guess.
almost 10 months sober. From alcohol. My demon. Because I’m sure there will be a few of you now who will weigh in and say I’m not sober if I take Xanax.
But I consider myself sober.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I really liked Dead To Me. I thought it was well written and acted...not something I can say about many of the Netflix series. It isn't light and fun though - that's for sure. It's more along the lines of, "Don't do this. If you do, here's what can happen."
Stay with it. I watched the whole series; or at least I think I did. Who knows if there will be a second season. It reminded me a little of Bloodline in the message and Linda Cardellini was in that one too.
Stay with it. I watched the whole series; or at least I think I did. Who knows if there will be a second season. It reminded me a little of Bloodline in the message and Linda Cardellini was in that one too.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Yeah, emotions are pretty raw in early sobriety.
Don't drink "at" it.
How about some Box Breathing, the tool of the Navy Seals!
Don't drink "at" it.
How about some Box Breathing, the tool of the Navy Seals!
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Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 365
It annoys me too. I really noticed it over the past year or so of wanting to quit drinking but never quitting for more than a few days at a time. Everywhere I looked I saw booze ads, fun boozy scenes on TV and in movies, popular culture drenched in booze.
Why do they advertise this stuff on television? Why is it glorified? It's crazy.
Just because they're selling it doesn't mean we have to buy it.
Why do they advertise this stuff on television? Why is it glorified? It's crazy.
Just because they're selling it doesn't mean we have to buy it.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Here's where I've come to on this stuff, Luna...
First, everyone gets to decide what it means to be sober. I take carefully prescribed Ativan for my anxiety. The gist of that is, yes, I'm 3+ yr sober.
Second, there are some shows that irritate me- or, I at least notice all the drinking. Even the 'normal' kind. I loved Dead to Me and that one didn't really bug me. Right now, we are into Damages which has a fantastic cast and is so smart and complicated. The characters drink a LOT and I have actually switched up my watching this wk, with an old fave...Sex and The City- which was "so known for the cosmos" back in the day and truly pales in comparison to most stuff now.
As far as being sick of alcohol and culture and so on - I'm a proponent of being proactive in supporting the changes beginning in our cultural conversations. Being irritated - or much worse, blaming rules, laws, alcohol itself as people sometimes rail on about here and IRL (I'm not thinking of you, Luna) for our addiction- does me no good. What can, even at my family level with a teenage step daughter, is participating in all the Instagram and social media conversations, for example, about questioning our norms, all the reasons we do or choose not to drink, what we think is "funny" or just "automatic" and so on.
Most people aren't alcoholics, but many do drink more than is good for anyone.
First, everyone gets to decide what it means to be sober. I take carefully prescribed Ativan for my anxiety. The gist of that is, yes, I'm 3+ yr sober.
Second, there are some shows that irritate me- or, I at least notice all the drinking. Even the 'normal' kind. I loved Dead to Me and that one didn't really bug me. Right now, we are into Damages which has a fantastic cast and is so smart and complicated. The characters drink a LOT and I have actually switched up my watching this wk, with an old fave...Sex and The City- which was "so known for the cosmos" back in the day and truly pales in comparison to most stuff now.
As far as being sick of alcohol and culture and so on - I'm a proponent of being proactive in supporting the changes beginning in our cultural conversations. Being irritated - or much worse, blaming rules, laws, alcohol itself as people sometimes rail on about here and IRL (I'm not thinking of you, Luna) for our addiction- does me no good. What can, even at my family level with a teenage step daughter, is participating in all the Instagram and social media conversations, for example, about questioning our norms, all the reasons we do or choose not to drink, what we think is "funny" or just "automatic" and so on.
Most people aren't alcoholics, but many do drink more than is good for anyone.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I was highly irritated by the booze culture for quite some time after getting sober. Actually I was pretty darn angry. I had practically ruined my entire life with the stuff, and it seemed SO WRONG and so in-my-face all the time. "How DARE they put wine in the Walgreen's?" It seemed like there was literally no place I could go to shop, eat, socialize that didn't have a display of booze somewhere. It drove me nuts. I had never really noticed the prevalence of alcohol marketing before, because I was, you know, a drinker. I was hyper aware of it for a while. As time went on, though, I just stopped seeing it. It's almost like it has become invisible to me now. That does not mean I condone the marketing and societal acceptance of a substance that is arguably more damaging to society than any other drug - it just means that I don't feel quite so personally offended by it. I just try to do my small part to impart the message to my kids (27 and 17) that alcohol is a DANGEROUS drug, if consumed irresponsibly, and that they need to be extra aware of that because of their family history. It's really all I can do.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Our social environment is such a blaze of conflicting, contradictory, and mutually exclusive events, that making sense out of it is difficult. Why is it so difficult? Well, because the reality is that it doesn't make much sense, which puts the burden back on us to make the best choices for ourselves that we can.
The media is especially devious and thoughtless in this regard with outright advertising or product placements in movies for things that are useless or harmful. The corporate world knowingly manufactures harmful things that the media advertises.
I actually get a kick out of those deceptive beer commercials that show young healthy people, with bikini clad nubiles joyfully playing volleyball on the beach. For reasons that escape me, they don't show middle aged losers slipping off their bar stools as they lean over into someones face and thump a finger in their chest, while giving them a good talking to, complete with slurred words and accidental slobber drooling down their chins.
Our own welfare requires we resist believing everything we see or hear in the world around us.
The media is especially devious and thoughtless in this regard with outright advertising or product placements in movies for things that are useless or harmful. The corporate world knowingly manufactures harmful things that the media advertises.
I actually get a kick out of those deceptive beer commercials that show young healthy people, with bikini clad nubiles joyfully playing volleyball on the beach. For reasons that escape me, they don't show middle aged losers slipping off their bar stools as they lean over into someones face and thump a finger in their chest, while giving them a good talking to, complete with slurred words and accidental slobber drooling down their chins.
Our own welfare requires we resist believing everything we see or hear in the world around us.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I blamed society for my ills for a long time. And even after I quit doing that I was still resentful of those who could still drink "normally". But after a while it turns out that all of it was really just in my head anyway - what is on TV and other people's t-shirts is really quite irrelevant. I have the power to make choices that affect my life in a positive way, and what some billboard says really doesn't matter.
Fact of the matter is that there are always going to be temptations in life and "society" will often promote them. Think of all the commercials for junk food that must be frustrating to those with eating disorders. Or the societal acceptance of certain cultural things that are offensive to others. It's never going away, so being resentful of it is kind of like being resentful of the way the earth rotates on it's axis - not something you can change. And the only person it affects negatively when you get worked up about it is us.
Fact of the matter is that there are always going to be temptations in life and "society" will often promote them. Think of all the commercials for junk food that must be frustrating to those with eating disorders. Or the societal acceptance of certain cultural things that are offensive to others. It's never going away, so being resentful of it is kind of like being resentful of the way the earth rotates on it's axis - not something you can change. And the only person it affects negatively when you get worked up about it is us.
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Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 500
I think it's important to take a step back and look at things from a neutral point of view.
I abuse alcohol. The majority of people drink socially, and don't abuse alcohol.
Some people abuse prescription medication. I use medication as directed and when needed.
Some people are addicted to eating. I eat when I'm hungry.
I abuse alcohol. The majority of people drink socially, and don't abuse alcohol.
Some people abuse prescription medication. I use medication as directed and when needed.
Some people are addicted to eating. I eat when I'm hungry.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 135
Thanks for the replies. I am not usually easily offended by all the messages of alcohol which surround as all daily. I guess I was a little more offended by the references to the “Xanax/ambien zombie mom” on the Netflix show then herself drinking a second later, and then my drug court leader stating he wishes they didn’t invent medication like xanax, when he drinks a lot on weekends.
The irony triggered me.
The irony triggered me.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I was watching Dead to me too (because I have a slight TV problem). But when I saw where it was going I stopped. I'll get back to it....when I'm running on the treadmill or something. Shows that make me anxious require simultaneous exercise....zombie shows are great for the treadmill.
I think what bugs me is not the use or public acceptance of any substance but the denial and rationalization of its use. One is a drug, the other isn't. One is bad, the other is good. One is prescription, the other is a 'street drug'. And all the noise about the opiate 'crisis', which is a big deal, and no noise about the far greater devastation of alcohol. So its the hypocrisy I guess. But what else is new? I've sat with friends from AA, warning me about the dangers of getting addicted to exercise (yeah) while eating huge american food, being dangerously overweight, smoking, taking prescription meds for all their pain (probably caused by their lifestyle)...looking at me very seriously while stuffing a cinnamon roll the size of their face into their mouth. Now, that was just one meeting, and I love these ladies, but it was shocking to me. Quietly nods back and says thanks for the guidance. So yeah. Seems humans like to alter our states of mind. Its just kind of a thing.
When the US illegalized booze we created a massive organized crime network that simply switched to heroin when booze became legal again. I personally think all drugs should be legal. Controlled, taxed. Eliminate the massive expense of the DEA trying to do literally nothing. The cartels ruling Mexico and South America. China flooding us with fentanyl. Might even help our immigration situation. Soooo, legal, illegal, we have a voracious appetite for drugs. I read that the US uses 80% (or might be 90) of the worlds supply of prescription narcotics. And if there were a street made solution for benzo's, those would be on the radar too. Btw, if your benzo use helps you and isn't a problem, who is anyone to challenge that? Do what works for you.
Sooo, whatever. But whatever is happening now, isn't working, that seems obvious.
I think what bugs me is not the use or public acceptance of any substance but the denial and rationalization of its use. One is a drug, the other isn't. One is bad, the other is good. One is prescription, the other is a 'street drug'. And all the noise about the opiate 'crisis', which is a big deal, and no noise about the far greater devastation of alcohol. So its the hypocrisy I guess. But what else is new? I've sat with friends from AA, warning me about the dangers of getting addicted to exercise (yeah) while eating huge american food, being dangerously overweight, smoking, taking prescription meds for all their pain (probably caused by their lifestyle)...looking at me very seriously while stuffing a cinnamon roll the size of their face into their mouth. Now, that was just one meeting, and I love these ladies, but it was shocking to me. Quietly nods back and says thanks for the guidance. So yeah. Seems humans like to alter our states of mind. Its just kind of a thing.
When the US illegalized booze we created a massive organized crime network that simply switched to heroin when booze became legal again. I personally think all drugs should be legal. Controlled, taxed. Eliminate the massive expense of the DEA trying to do literally nothing. The cartels ruling Mexico and South America. China flooding us with fentanyl. Might even help our immigration situation. Soooo, legal, illegal, we have a voracious appetite for drugs. I read that the US uses 80% (or might be 90) of the worlds supply of prescription narcotics. And if there were a street made solution for benzo's, those would be on the radar too. Btw, if your benzo use helps you and isn't a problem, who is anyone to challenge that? Do what works for you.
Sooo, whatever. But whatever is happening now, isn't working, that seems obvious.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 132
I agree with the hypocrisy of it all. It's a bit like the characters who are healthy salad eating professionals during the day then drink like fish once the sun goes down. It's not always about balance. I think it annoys me cause I'm so passionate about my sobriety and I'm still in the early days so super sensitive to it.
Congrats on 10 months by the way.
Congrats on 10 months by the way.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
just to offer a slightly different viewpoint...I've only seen one ep but the drinking scene that stuck with me from Dead to me was the coffee bit.
Once I would have been able to tell you what people were drinking in a show and at what point on the clock they did it, lol
Times change and so do we
D
Once I would have been able to tell you what people were drinking in a show and at what point on the clock they did it, lol
Times change and so do we
D
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
It helps me to think 'that's not whiskey it's apple juice, if it was real booze they wouldn't be able to look so fabulous and memorise their lines'. Every soap opera in the U.K. Revolves around the local pub. Everyone goes to the pub for their lunch breaks and every evening. However there were complaints a while back and I've noticed a lot more of the characters asking for soft drinks.
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