Hopingwishing

Hi all,

Coming clean about my recent relapse. Time for honesty and accountability. What caused me to relapse? Stress plus opportunity. The opportunity is the big one here-I thought I could get away with it. Thought I could handle have a couple. Well a couple ended up as a few more. Missed yesterday due to being hungover. Off work anyway today. But feeling scared. I'm in the midst of some big life changes at the moment. Alcohol has no place in my life. I hadn't been practising my plan of late and in the little AV crept.

Thanks for listening. Any advice is welcome.

doggonecarl

Maybe more engagement with Sober Recovery. You have only three posts since joining. Two after relapses.

SR works best if you post before you drink, not after.

Hopingwishing

ChloeRose63

Keep posting and stay with us. You will have a great following and therefore alot of people will be there for you when you need support! Together we are strong!
Glad you are here!

CincyFin

Bill says in the Big Book that sometimes we relapse and have no idea why we did it. My relapses at first were because I thought I could handle having a "few" drinks. There were a couple times when resentment got the best of me and I relapsed. Eventually I got so damn tired of the merry go round I decided to get off. And to do that I had to do WHATEVER it took. I spent 60 days in a treatment facility and became more involved in the recovery community. Your disease isn't going anywhere. It sits in the corner doing pushups waiting for you to come around.
So you have to ask yourself how bad do you want to quit drinking and are you willing to do whatever it takes?

Happyvale

Guess you didn't. Accept what happened as a lesson - as the useful knowledge that it is. I can't help but ponder your site name.

Hope is a beggar (as Jim Carey says). It's time to act. It's time to determine and time to plan.

Hopingwishing

Thanks for the comments! Really needed this advice. I'm curled up in bed even though its half six in the evening here! Today has been hard. I've thought several times about just giving in, but it's gotta stop sometime. Sitting with those feelings of shame is much better than the alternative.

Bobbieka

Well, hopefully you've made it through the day.

First few days are rough. Can you get to a meeting in the AM? Post in the 24 hour thread your commitment to stay sober for the day? Start building some sober muscles.

thomas11

Reading and posting here helped me a lot. Use this forum for strength as there are a ton of great people here who have been sober a long time and know what it takes. I'll give you a hint, it takes a lot of darn work and determination to remain sober, especially early on.

Dee74

I'm glad you're back hopingwishing. I really recommend a recovery action plan - it might sound daunting but it's not really:

https://web.archive.org/web/20180728...0/SMA-3720.pdf

Have a read

D

Hopingwishing

Thanks Dee, although I struggled to access the rest of the pdf on my phone. Is it one for a computer browser? It looks perfect!

least

CarolD often said that in order to stay sober, you must want to be sober more than you want to drink.

Dee74

Unfortunately not even SAMSHA seems to offer those pdfs anymore so I had to go to the wayback machine to find them.

I believe this is the same material although I've not had a chance to read through it all

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/...-introduction/

D