ThatWasTheOldMe

I mean, I could. But every time I eat, I'm putting myself further into debt. That's money that could go to paying off student loans I used to get a degree I don't use because I can't stop working to pursue jobs appropriate for it. Stop working = no more car.

Dee74

You've got to eat.

I wouldn't consider food or basic utilities like power water and rent as putting me into debt - they're essentials.

It took me a year of sobriety to pay off my debts - I approached each of my creditors and made a payment plan - things were pretty spartan at times., but I stayed fed clothed and with a roof over my head.

I'd had enough of not feeding myself and choosing instead to spend money on other things like beer.

That's no way to live..right?

D

Guener

I understand the feeling of being trapped by finances, it is a worrisome spot to be facing.

My job just pays the bills that keep me going, and my student loan debt is in deferment accumulating more debt as I fret over it. I have been looking at second job possibilities for more income but haven't found anything yet that is workable for hours or other requirements (like getting enough rest to keep me from getting sick). I have been working hard in my present position to try to get a raise, and I watch daily for new opportunities.

I don't go out to eat but neither do I forgo eating as a way to save on my expenses. I am frugal with my food budget, though. The basics are something that I am committed to right now, and that is pretty much it.

Perhaps you can still apply to jobs that are suited toward your degree and qualifications in your free time that you may have, but then there is the problem of getting time off to do the interviews on the potential employer's schedule, I know.

I'm getting some minimal assistance with my housing rent from HUD, based upon my income and status, and that helps but is an administrative pain in the rear.

When you live at the edge monetarily it makes things tricky, and I'm just saying that I feel your distress in a personal way.

ThatWasTheOldMe

What's the point? Tired of existing.

Dee74

I really think you need to see someone about your mental health TWTOM.

Like I've said before this whats the point palaver can take you straight back to drinking.

You need to challenge it, man.

https://www.sane.org/information-sto...atastrophising

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...f-once-and-all

D

ThatWasTheOldMe

That costs money.

Dee74

I added an extra article - both completely free

D

Dee74

Lots more links here too on this and related subjects

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...f-respite.html (Relief and Respite)

I'm not trying to be a jerk - I really believe you need to challenge these feelings - it could be integral to you staying sober, and finding peace and happiness.

D

ThatWasTheOldMe

I don't even want to go to work.
I mean, I work my *** off for what? To remain one emergency away from homelessness?

This is what happens when you're a complete failure in a society built around capitalism. Something doesn't go your way and you're stuck. Everything goes your way, and you criticize those less fortunate than you and blame their situation on them.

America sucks.

wildflower70

I'm not sure what area of the country you live in......but, there are food banks all over the US. There is help available. You may qualify for free food from the government as well. I used to work closely with several community outreach programs, please feel free to message me directly for more information in your specific area.

Please reach out for help, you need an extra hand right now, and that's OK.

ThatWasTheOldMe

You have to keep yourself unemployed or in poverty to qualify for those programs. You make more than $12,000 a year, you're constantly stressed and you don't qualify for any of those programs.

You can't live on $50,000 a year, let alone what well-off Americans consider "poverty level."

wildflower70

I know many people who live comfortable on under 50k a year.

Maybe this will mean thinking outside of the box?

Get a roommate
Shop at food-coops
Only purchase produce that is in season
Take the bus or ride a bike to work
Cut the cable and other non-essentials

You can make over 12k and still get help from food banks.

Try to look for options, staying in a negative state of mind will only increase the likelihood of you returning to the drink.

And that would be devastating on your pocketbook.

I hope you can find peace today.

entropy1964

There is help when you are ready for it.

I can only speak about my state but there are definitely free counseling services. And I live in a very conservative, MAGA state. So if assisted anything is here, I'm guessing its most places.

America doesn't suck at all. It just happens to be full of selfish, rationalizing, deluded homo sapiens. But last time I checked there's like 7 billion of us so we are pretty much every where. Lot of people want to come here so I'm guessing it probably sucks more elsewhere.

All I can do is be the best person I can be. I know when I'm really down on everything and everyone, I'm usually just down on myself.

August252015

nothing we say seems to be helping you TWOTM but here goes:

My first sponsor asked me some pretty "shocking" questions:
What was I willing to do to get sober and actually live a life?

I didn't have a car for three years prior to quitting and didn't get one til 6 mo sober- it was a gift from my parents.
I still got to my meetings and drs and stuff- somehow- and yep, it meant the bus and a short walk, or asking strangers for rides.
I took a job at a fast food place - it was steady income though def not enough - I started paying off debts by only paying 10$ a month which I arranged w each medical provider

I considered bankruptcy, moving from my tiny apt, etc and weighed the pros and cons

I took $30 or $40 to the grocery and made it work for a week. I used to spend that much every couple days on a handle of vodka.

I ate at work at the fast food place then at the restaurant where I went back to work.

I did have my parents helping me with some stuff like a Lyft ride when really needed, or a box of Kuerig coffee which was a treat.

Everyone's situation is different and yeah, plenty of it sucks - but I also know a friend who got sober while being homeless for a bit, and plenty of other folks who chose to stop drinking and stay sober no matter what.

It's up to you.

newhope01

Newbeginning421

I live in one of the most expensive cities in the United States and you can live on less than 50k a year so simply not true. I owe like 25k something in that ball park. To me it sounds like your mental health issues and attitude is what is holding you back. I understand where you are coming from as I still am not sure if there is a point to anything but I would say by and large that is what is holding you back. I am not a part of AA but I have found in causes greater than myself to focus on to give me purpose. I hope that helps.

AnvilheadII

i know this won't count for much but.....you ARE a lovely, worthwhile person and i hope you do at least one thing today to take care of yourself.

Action

I'm at the other end of the working career, my monthly income has gone from what I made weekly to what my monthly income is.

I don't work because I can't physically, so I've gone to using Community food banks and government programs for the needy. Pride has little place in my life I do what I have to do. I would gladly trade places just starting off with all the opportunities in life before me. But life is what it is so tomorrow I will be at the foodbank.
It's time to look at the budding flowers not the manure it took to grow them.🙂
Action

John65

There's a British writer and activist called Jack Monroe and she has some great recipes for those with a limited budget. Might be someone in the US doing similar but the recipes should be workable there anyway:

https://cookingonabootstrap.com

It's worth a look.

vxper

The food banks or pantries I'm familiar with organized through churches don't have any requirements, they assume that if you are there you need to be there and they are more than happy to offer food.