Relapse, arrest, where to go from here?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 3
Relapse, arrest, where to go from here?
Hi I’m new here. I’m at a loss of where to turn and go from here. My boyfriend of 3 years has relapsed. He had been sober before we met for a few years. Truthfully I have zero experience with addiction and didn’t really do any research on it until now. All leading up to this timepoint, he seemed to have a handle on his recovery, we’d had conversations about what would happen if things got bad or he was struggling. To me there were no warning signs, but maybe I was just naive. He tells me he started using again about 3 months ago. Last night was when it all came to a head - he fell asleep while driving, wrecked his car, and got arrested. I’m truly at a loss. I thought we were going to be together forever, get married, have a life together. We had some recent struggles, unrelated to this - he wanted to go back to school and was in the process of applying and we were sorting through these growing pains. He had even taken the action of setting up and appointment with a doctor who specialized in addiction because he was feeling some anxiety over this whole process (now thinking...“here’s your sign”). I care about him so much and he truly seems so wrecked by his actions and what he is now putting me through. This is all so fresh and I’m so confused and having a hard time comprehending and understanding the situation. How do I know where to go next? The thought of him or I ever being with someone else is painful, I want what’s best for myself and him. I know time is key in having clarity, but I’m just so torn up. How do i get through this? Where do I go from here?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
They have meetings called alanon for loved ones who are suffering through addiction. I know it helped my family members very early on in my recovery. They did a lot of subtle little things that helped me which maybe I didnt quite notice at first, but definitely appreciate now. That could be a good place to start.
Hi and welcome ek
I don't know that anyone can tell you what to do, but the suggestion of al anon is a good one.
You have to consider your own future. Your well-being is every bit as important as anyone elses, including your partners.
I'm glad you're posting in the Family and Friends forums as well.
Support is really important you'll find that here
D
I don't know that anyone can tell you what to do, but the suggestion of al anon is a good one.
You have to consider your own future. Your well-being is every bit as important as anyone elses, including your partners.
I'm glad you're posting in the Family and Friends forums as well.
Support is really important you'll find that here
D
DOS: 08-16-2012
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Central Iowa
Posts: 365
The easy answer is to tell you to run fast and far! Life is often not that easy though. Like mentioned above, Al-Anon is a great place for you to start. You will learn a lot about yourself in the process.
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