Oldskate

I keep picking up a drink after days or weeks of sobriety. I think I really am starting to figure out the why and how. Then bam a stressful situation happens and I go on a binge. I married an alcoholic and a drug addict and at this very moment she is abusing.

I really want to stay strong this time so much for my 4 year old little girl. I believe my wife is having an affair too so I sit here very upset but proud as of right now not to have had a drink.I am on day #4 now hopefully keep getting stronger because my whole adult life has been drinking for any bit of stress and anxiety. After my parents died 20 years ago only been sober maybe a total of 6 months adding all the sober days combined. Sorry for the grammar just needed to get it off my chest. I know tomorrow is going to be very hard for me.

kinzoku

I'm glad you are here with us. This is a great group of people to help you on your sober journey. I hope to hear that tomorrow/today is your day one, and then many more from then on!

least

Welcome to the family OS. You'll find lots of support and good ideas here. I hope you'll use our support to help you stay sober for good. It takes effort and changes, but a sober life is its own reward. Waking up feeling good never gets old.

Robert88

Congratulations on staying clean for four days. If you really want to get clean you cant have her in your life if she is using drugs and alcohol. I know it is going to suck but that is just how it has to be if you are going to be serious about getting clean. I am just telling the truth. I am not trying to bash you or anything.

I can relate to always wanting to use when I get stressed out. I have been stressed out over the new job that I have started and it is for an internet company where I do tech support and the customers are really rude and demanding and treat us like crap over the phone. I am having a hard time learning everything that needs to be learned and I end up staying past my time off so that I can try to teach myself more. I am getting burnt out from it, the sober living because they wake us up so early in the morning and have so many rules, and the meetings. That is all I do. I do not have time to have fun or do anything that I like to do so I am getting burnt out and have started to have a lot of using dreams again and it is freaking me out.

Just wanted to share a little of what I am going through as well. My plan is to stay sober no matter what happens this time. I have told myself this before so I am always a bit scared. I hope that you stay strong and do what you need to do in order to stay sober. Good luck.

Dee74

Finding support, and using it, really made a difference for me OldSkate.
It can be a hard and lonely road to travel by yourself....A little company and support makes it easier..

I'm really glad you've joined us

D

Dee74

double.

Ghostlight1

Hello and welcome. You'll find a lot of support here.
Myself, unlike you, never needed a reason to drink. I drank if the sun came up, I drank if it went down.
It has to be tough having a wife whose drinking and abusing drugs.
That is a toxic relationship, in my eyes. One I would end if you really do want to help your little girl and do what's best for you.

That's just my opinion because I've been in somewhat the same situation.
Separately I got sober. I still talk to the ex and she's still drinking. Sad.
But thankfully there were no children involved.

I hope you can do what is best for you and your daughter. Your very lives may depend on it.

Oldskate

Thank you all. Sadly it has gotten worse. she is being terrible to me dont know if it's the drugs talking or not but basically saying she wants a divorce.. who knows how she will feel in the morning. I'm thinking she means it but I'm not taking the bait to get in an argument even though saying she is taking my daughter. I have raise her from a baby I would say 90 % of the time bath time her lunches basically parenting her all that time. Taking her away from me is breaking my soul. I refuse to go drink right now even though I know it will numb the pain.

Ghostlight1

Good for you for not taking a drink. It may numb the pain tonight, but what of tomorrow? Drink again? Or deal with a hangover?
As you know, drinking isn't going to solve anything. It may add fuel to the fire, though.
You've got four solid days. Please don't let your wife ruin it for you.
I really feel for you. In your situation, honestly, I don't know what I'd do.
So do the right thing for you and your daughter and don't drink. You can do it. I'm rooting for you.

decchemist

Looking at this objectively, if I were a Judge in court I would award custody of the child to the sober parent. Now surely that is motivation to stay clean.

Oldskate

I didn't drink working on day 5. I know more drama is on the way. I'm just sick of using alcohol to block out her drug use around me. Thanks for the support

biminiblue

There are ways to block her from taking your child, can you contact an attorney? She can huff and puff all she wants, but these days parents get equal visitation. There are free/sliding scale legal services, call a local Domestic Violence helpline or your local courts and they can help you find one.

Well done on staying sober, it's the best way to keep your life on track.

Have you spent any time reading in the Friends & Family side of this site? Lots of help and resources there, too.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#friends-family

Oldskate

She came home and took her I had the police meet me at the house to make sure she was sober. Then she left with my girl. I went to the police station and filled out a report and called a victim hotline I'm in the process of trying to get an injunction of protection for my daughter and myself . I cant stop crying and I'm sitting here all alone wanting to drink. To make the pain stop I just have to tell myself it will be ok

least

Please don't drink. It will only make things worse. And you'll need all your wits about you to fight for your child.

Ghostlight1

I'm so sorry you're going through this, but it sounds like you're doing the right things including staying sober.
Please remember, there's nothing a drink will make better. It won't kill the pain, and even if it does for a little while, what about tomorrow? Or the next day?
Alcohol is no cure for what you're going through.
Please stay sober for your daughter and yourself. You won't regret it. And I bet you'd regret taking a drink.
Best to you. And I really hope things work out.

Sweetpeacan

OS,

Congrats on 5 days, great going.

I am so sorry for what you are going through and I hope truly that it works out for you. Please don't drink, it won't help your situation.

Take care& all the best

Anna

I'm sorry that your wife took your daughter. It's great that you went to the police and that you are doing what you can to protect your daughter and yourself. Do talk to a lawyer so you know exactly what your rights are and what you can do. And, above all, kudos for staying sober. Your child needs you now.

Hevyn

Oldskate - I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling during this crisis. I always thought drinking was helping me cope with things, but it does just the opposite. It only ends up increasing our anxiety. You need a clear head to deal with this - be proud of yourself for not caving. 5 days is wonderful.

August252015

Glad you are here, OldSkate.

Oldskate

I didn't make it guys I slipped I'm at a loss right now. I know the easiest thing was for me to drink again and I did. I did make the choice not to get more tonight and I hopeful get strong again. If anyone reads this and knows they are going though pain dont start again. It has not eased anything but make me numb to life. Now I have to start over again. I'm not ok now and not having my daughter is killing me. That was my excuse. In a perfect world I would have been aloud to work on myself with no stress.