focus on tmrw
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 125
focus on tmrw
After 5-1/2 months alcohol free, I started drinking again a few weeks ago. Everything is ok, but I feel that horrible anxiety and shame rushing over me and i just want it to stop. it’s soul crushing.
So im telling myself that tmrw is a new day and I never have to feel this way again. I think I just wanted to be normal... to be able to have a drink at dinner and not to be the one always ordering seltzer and lime. I found myself very resentful of my husband while sober and this was a way to connect with him which is crazy considering he hates when I overdrink.
i feel so gross right now. I need to forgive myself and focus on tmrw.
So im telling myself that tmrw is a new day and I never have to feel this way again. I think I just wanted to be normal... to be able to have a drink at dinner and not to be the one always ordering seltzer and lime. I found myself very resentful of my husband while sober and this was a way to connect with him which is crazy considering he hates when I overdrink.
i feel so gross right now. I need to forgive myself and focus on tmrw.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
hi and welcome back serenitynowplz
yeah it took me years to understand that the only way I could be normal - do normal things, have normal relationships and get the things normal people get out of life - was not to drink alcohol.
It took a while but I built a over life I love - and I become a me I could be proud of. I have serenity and optimism and I feel like my life is meaningful.
When you put 'not drinking' beside that it's not really any loss at all
D
I think I just wanted to be normal... to be able to have a drink at dinner and not to be the one always ordering seltzer and lime.
It took a while but I built a over life I love - and I become a me I could be proud of. I have serenity and optimism and I feel like my life is meaningful.
When you put 'not drinking' beside that it's not really any loss at all
D
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 919
If you are here, and trying to be sober, I support you 100%!
I mean, if you are here and only flirting with the idea of being sobe again, I still support you 100%....just also wanna give you a kick in the butt.
You know what you need to do.
Welcome back
I mean, if you are here and only flirting with the idea of being sobe again, I still support you 100%....just also wanna give you a kick in the butt.
You know what you need to do.
Welcome back
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
The crazy feelings lasted longer and longer as I relapsed over and over. In the end, the days of insanity...anxiety, spatial disorientation, obsessions etc....went from a day, to a week, to a month, to a year.
If I relapse again, the crazy won't go away.
I have done enough damage to my body and mind for this one and only trip through reality.
Everything changed because I changed. I no longer blame anyone for my mistakes.
It is liberating.
Thanks.
If I relapse again, the crazy won't go away.
I have done enough damage to my body and mind for this one and only trip through reality.
Everything changed because I changed. I no longer blame anyone for my mistakes.
It is liberating.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Devon, UK
Posts: 59
Before you drink play it forward if you can. Imagine your life without the love and respect of your husband. Imagine a future without your husband by your side, is the drink it worth it?
You can do this, one day at a time.
.
You can do this, one day at a time.
.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 141
Originally Posted by Dee74 
yeah it took me years to understand that the only way I could be normal - do normal things, have normal relationships and get the things normal people get out of life - was not to drink alcohol.
D
D
FOT...yes, tomorrow is a new day where we can choose to not drink.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by serenitynowplz
[left]I think I just wanted to be normal... to be able to have a drink at dinner and not to be the one always ordering seltzer and lime.
But normal in our minds still revolves around drinking. I think as long as the sober alcoholic clings to that belief, he or she will struggle.
THERE IS NOTHING ABNORMAL ABOUT NOT DRINKING. And when your recovery is solid, you'll understand this.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 141
Carl is right....I do think it's the fantasy or romantic notion of alcohol we see in the media (people having a beer in the great outdoors, women bonding over wine) that contributes to the belief that not drinking is abnormal or "not cool" somehow. The thing is.... "normal" people don't have those romantic notions. They can take it or leave it. They don't leave restaurants when they find out its not liquor licensed. Alcohol is simply of far lesser importance to them - least the ones I know. A friend of mine married someone in recovery who eventually became an addictions counselor. She was a social drinker but elected to quit drinking with him. It really didn't bother her one iota to do so because it had little presence in her life anyway.
If we are sitting there "longing" for alcohol because we feel we cannot have it.... I would say we are.... abnormal.
If we are sitting there "longing" for alcohol because we feel we cannot have it.... I would say we are.... abnormal.
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