Sitting in the ER with my AW
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 22
Sitting in the ER with my AW
Today at our future son-in-laws graduation my wife faints and has what I believe is a seizure.
Let me back up........
My AW has been on a 20 beer a day regiment for the last 3 months. She slowed down a bit yesterday knowing that she would have to be sober for this college graduation. Well during graduation she says she is dizzy and then faints and has what I believe is a seizure. I loaded her up and went straight to the ER. She begged and pleaded with me to not take her or the ER but to take her to the beer store and that she would be better soon and stop drinking tomorrow. I told her it was either the ER or I was packing my bags and leaving her.
Now we are sitting in the ER waiting for results. At least she was honest with the DR about her drinking problem.
I know this episode is because of Hell she has put her body through.
I feel awful for my daughter. I know she is so embarrassed.
Has anyone else ever had a public episode like this?
Let me back up........
My AW has been on a 20 beer a day regiment for the last 3 months. She slowed down a bit yesterday knowing that she would have to be sober for this college graduation. Well during graduation she says she is dizzy and then faints and has what I believe is a seizure. I loaded her up and went straight to the ER. She begged and pleaded with me to not take her or the ER but to take her to the beer store and that she would be better soon and stop drinking tomorrow. I told her it was either the ER or I was packing my bags and leaving her.
Now we are sitting in the ER waiting for results. At least she was honest with the DR about her drinking problem.
I know this episode is because of Hell she has put her body through.
I feel awful for my daughter. I know she is so embarrassed.
Has anyone else ever had a public episode like this?
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
I remember many a similar scene with my stepson, and I'm so sorry! I'm sorry that addiction had to ruin a beautiful day and a proud moment for the graduate. I'm sorry that you find yourself in the middle of this drama and stress. I hope that your wife will continue to be honest with the doctors and finally turn her behavior around!
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
I miss my wife.....I have seen this happen, a lot, over the years. Often, when the alcoholic , who has been drinking heavily, tries to go cold turkey for some reason....
This is often (but not always) on "special occasions"....when there is a lot of pressure for the alcoholic to be "sober".
Withdrawl symptoms, such as withdrawl seizures can begin within hours of the last drink....when the blood alcohol level starts to drop....
As a medical person who has detoxed lots of alcoholics...I would never insist that a person stop drinking without direct medical supervision.....Withdrawl symptoms can be very dangerous.....
In some places, patients are told to go ahead and have a drink before coming into the hospital for detox....for this very reason...
This is often (but not always) on "special occasions"....when there is a lot of pressure for the alcoholic to be "sober".
Withdrawl symptoms, such as withdrawl seizures can begin within hours of the last drink....when the blood alcohol level starts to drop....
As a medical person who has detoxed lots of alcoholics...I would never insist that a person stop drinking without direct medical supervision.....Withdrawl symptoms can be very dangerous.....
In some places, patients are told to go ahead and have a drink before coming into the hospital for detox....for this very reason...
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,507
Thank you for that, dandylion.
Imissmywife - I've been both the recipient and the cause of such an event. The last time I humiliated myself I decided I was through trying to live the drinking life. I never picked up again. I hope so much that this will be the beginning of a new life for your wife & family.
Imissmywife - I've been both the recipient and the cause of such an event. The last time I humiliated myself I decided I was through trying to live the drinking life. I never picked up again. I hope so much that this will be the beginning of a new life for your wife & family.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,229
My episode was at home. No seizer but could have
been just as bad if my desire to leave this world on
a dare and not waking up after taking a hand full
of pills and alcohol.
My alcohol addiction was not even recognized
in my soul, mind and body sickness at the time
I hit my bottom. Thank God my family saw what
I couldn't and did what I wasn't able to. They
sought help for me by placing me into the hands
of those capable of teaching me about my addiction
and handing me the gift of a recovery guideline
to incorporate and live by on a continuous bases
each day I remained sober.
That help has been the gift that keeps
on giving for a many one days sober for
the past 28 yrs.
For that I am truly grateful for them
and the gift of life for without all of it
I would either be still drunk, crazy or
possibly dead.
I send my hopes and prayers that she will
seek recovery to achieve a health, happy
way of life for yrs to come.
been just as bad if my desire to leave this world on
a dare and not waking up after taking a hand full
of pills and alcohol.
My alcohol addiction was not even recognized
in my soul, mind and body sickness at the time
I hit my bottom. Thank God my family saw what
I couldn't and did what I wasn't able to. They
sought help for me by placing me into the hands
of those capable of teaching me about my addiction
and handing me the gift of a recovery guideline
to incorporate and live by on a continuous bases
each day I remained sober.
That help has been the gift that keeps
on giving for a many one days sober for
the past 28 yrs.
For that I am truly grateful for them
and the gift of life for without all of it
I would either be still drunk, crazy or
possibly dead.
I send my hopes and prayers that she will
seek recovery to achieve a health, happy
way of life for yrs to come.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 395
Imissmywife: Yes, for 5 years I agonized about my AXGF's alcohol withdrawal seizures. Her addiction: beer (15-20+ cans p/day) & boxed wine (an entire box) or 3-4 full bottles of white wine every day. She'd drink all day & night... at 5am she'd pop open a beer or pour a glass of wine in a coffee mug while lightin' up a cig. If we went anywhere... she'd have her thermos of wine with her at all times, tucked in her handbag, like an alcoholic's security blanket. Makes my stomach turn just thinking back...
In the beginning things were less severe (in her eyes!). She'd drink far too much... black out... I'd call 911 & she'd end up in the ER having small seizures & would then detox for 2-3 days at the hospital or addiction-based section of a well known clinic here.
However, I soon learned that for most addicts... alcohol withdrawal seizures become most severe 72-96+ hours post detox/her last drink. She'd get home from the ER & start having severe tremors & seizures. Her brain & memory would become foggy. She would then refuse a return trip to the hospital & would simply, crack open "only one" beer (her last famous words) to stop the episodes. One beer... would lead to 2... 3... etc etc.
Simply put: my ex had to drink consistently 24/7 or she'd have seizures. To maintain that intense level of addiction is beyond comprehension. I was in a constant state of panic... watching her obsess and panic.
So every 3-6 months she'd suddenly decide to detox at home without any warning (NOT recommended) & I'd have to put my entire life "on hold"... calling out from work, cancelling appointments... laying in bed with her puking & shaking all day/all night. It was so extremely upsetting & dangerous. No surprise, her seizures worsened & became more intense as the years went on... as her addiction worsened. She'd refuse treatment, or detoxing correctly at a hospital. No matter how hard I begged, she wouldn't detox correctly. My life was always on the back burner & I was left constantly worrying about her well being/health... & if the next seizure would be her very last.
Well, before I walked away a few weeks ago... she had a seizure so severe that she turned black & blue in my arms... & lost all consciousness. In fact, she completely stopped breathing. Time literally stood still. I urgently called 911 and a group of firemen & paramedics came... was rushed to the ER. She detoxed for 3 days & was sober for only 1 week, she relapsed hard & went back to drinking wine 24/7 which led to suicide attempts and an unforgiving darkness and depression within her like I had never seen.
It was 1000% too much & I officially moved out with only 1 bag in the middle of the night. NC since then.
I will say this... when someone steadily drinks ALOT...24/7 or begin having seizures (like my ex) it's flat out dangerous. I remember thinking constantly, HOLY SH*T! this is for a trained, medical professional... NOT me!!! Sadly when things get that bad, that extreme... their addiction is very close to death. At least it was for my ex.
And for me, this was the finale... my breaking point.
Also I wanted to point out a very complex and perplexing result occurs post withdrawal seizure, at least with my ex and from what her doctors told me, was extremely common. After the seizure, the individual is completely in a state of confusion or blank state... especially for addicts/alcoholics. Something in their brain turns muddy. My ex was intense... for hours, often days she couldn't remember anything at all... she'd slur her words... was very slow with everything... not remember her name... even what year it was... etc. It would take her days to recover. Twice (immediately post seizure) she couldn't even remember who I was. She'd scream & hit me thinking I was some lunatic man who had broke into our apartment. It was heart breaking to experience.
I learned a lot from every seizure, every detox, every hospitalization, every relapse. But I also LOST so much of myself within the anxiety of it all. Alcoholics are hell to deal with -- but alcoholics who also suffer from constant seizures become unbearable. She also lost so much of herself. With every seizure, her memory worsened... & our relationship was not salvageable.
There are anti-seizure medications but sadly, my ex took swallowed them with a glass of wine.
As every doctor told my ex... her seizures* can & will stop. But ONLY if she fully detoxed correctly (with proper medical supervision) and chose a sober life.
(* = there are other types of seizures/reasons for seizures. So as with my ex, they had to run many tests in case it was related to something more than just from alcohol withdrawal. In the end, for her... it was related 100% to her addiction).
In the beginning things were less severe (in her eyes!). She'd drink far too much... black out... I'd call 911 & she'd end up in the ER having small seizures & would then detox for 2-3 days at the hospital or addiction-based section of a well known clinic here.
However, I soon learned that for most addicts... alcohol withdrawal seizures become most severe 72-96+ hours post detox/her last drink. She'd get home from the ER & start having severe tremors & seizures. Her brain & memory would become foggy. She would then refuse a return trip to the hospital & would simply, crack open "only one" beer (her last famous words) to stop the episodes. One beer... would lead to 2... 3... etc etc.
Simply put: my ex had to drink consistently 24/7 or she'd have seizures. To maintain that intense level of addiction is beyond comprehension. I was in a constant state of panic... watching her obsess and panic.
So every 3-6 months she'd suddenly decide to detox at home without any warning (NOT recommended) & I'd have to put my entire life "on hold"... calling out from work, cancelling appointments... laying in bed with her puking & shaking all day/all night. It was so extremely upsetting & dangerous. No surprise, her seizures worsened & became more intense as the years went on... as her addiction worsened. She'd refuse treatment, or detoxing correctly at a hospital. No matter how hard I begged, she wouldn't detox correctly. My life was always on the back burner & I was left constantly worrying about her well being/health... & if the next seizure would be her very last.
Well, before I walked away a few weeks ago... she had a seizure so severe that she turned black & blue in my arms... & lost all consciousness. In fact, she completely stopped breathing. Time literally stood still. I urgently called 911 and a group of firemen & paramedics came... was rushed to the ER. She detoxed for 3 days & was sober for only 1 week, she relapsed hard & went back to drinking wine 24/7 which led to suicide attempts and an unforgiving darkness and depression within her like I had never seen.
It was 1000% too much & I officially moved out with only 1 bag in the middle of the night. NC since then.
I will say this... when someone steadily drinks ALOT...24/7 or begin having seizures (like my ex) it's flat out dangerous. I remember thinking constantly, HOLY SH*T! this is for a trained, medical professional... NOT me!!! Sadly when things get that bad, that extreme... their addiction is very close to death. At least it was for my ex.
And for me, this was the finale... my breaking point.
Also I wanted to point out a very complex and perplexing result occurs post withdrawal seizure, at least with my ex and from what her doctors told me, was extremely common. After the seizure, the individual is completely in a state of confusion or blank state... especially for addicts/alcoholics. Something in their brain turns muddy. My ex was intense... for hours, often days she couldn't remember anything at all... she'd slur her words... was very slow with everything... not remember her name... even what year it was... etc. It would take her days to recover. Twice (immediately post seizure) she couldn't even remember who I was. She'd scream & hit me thinking I was some lunatic man who had broke into our apartment. It was heart breaking to experience.
I learned a lot from every seizure, every detox, every hospitalization, every relapse. But I also LOST so much of myself within the anxiety of it all. Alcoholics are hell to deal with -- but alcoholics who also suffer from constant seizures become unbearable. She also lost so much of herself. With every seizure, her memory worsened... & our relationship was not salvageable.
There are anti-seizure medications but sadly, my ex took swallowed them with a glass of wine.
As every doctor told my ex... her seizures* can & will stop. But ONLY if she fully detoxed correctly (with proper medical supervision) and chose a sober life.
(* = there are other types of seizures/reasons for seizures. So as with my ex, they had to run many tests in case it was related to something more than just from alcohol withdrawal. In the end, for her... it was related 100% to her addiction).
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by LifeChangeNYC 
Imissmywife: Yes, for 5 years I agonized about my AXGF's alcohol withdrawal seizures. Her addiction: beer (15-20+ cans p/day) & boxed wine (an entire box) or 3-4 full bottles of white wine every day. She'd drink all day & night... at 5am she'd pop open a beer or pour a glass of wine in a coffee mug while lightin' up a cig. If we went anywhere... she'd have her thermos of wine with her at all times, tucked in her handbag, like an alcoholic's security blanket. Makes my stomach turn just thinking back...
In the beginning things were less severe (in her eyes!). She'd drink far too much... black out... I'd call 911 & she'd end up in the ER having small seizures & would then detox for 2-3 days at the hospital or addiction-based section of a well known clinic here.
However, I soon learned that for most addicts... alcohol withdrawal seizures become most severe 72-96+ hours post detox/her last drink. She'd get home from the ER & start having severe tremors & seizures. Her brain & memory would become foggy. She would then refuse a return trip to the hospital & would simply, crack open "only one" beer (her last famous words) to stop the episodes. One beer... would lead to 2... 3... etc etc.
Simply put: my ex had to drink consistently 24/7 or she'd have seizures. To maintain that intense level of addiction is beyond comprehension. I was in a constant state of panic... watching her obsess and panic.
So every 3-6 months she'd suddenly decide to detox at home without any warning (NOT recommended) & I'd have to put my entire life "on hold"... calling out from work, cancelling appointments... laying in bed with her puking & shaking all day/all night. It was so extremely upsetting & dangerous. No surprise, her seizures worsened & became more intense as the years went on... as her addiction worsened. She'd refuse treatment, or detoxing correctly at a hospital. No matter how hard I begged, she wouldn't detox correctly. My life was always on the back burner & I was left constantly worrying about her well being/health... & if the next seizure would be her very last.
Well, before I walked away a few weeks ago... she had a seizure so severe that she turned black & blue in my arms... & lost all consciousness. In fact, she completely stopped breathing. Time literally stood still. I urgently called 911 and a group of firemen & paramedics came... was rushed to the ER. She detoxed for 3 days & was sober for only 1 week, she relapsed hard & went back to drinking wine 24/7 which led to suicide attempts and an unforgiving darkness and depression within her like I had never seen.
It was 1000% too much & I officially moved out with only 1 bag in the middle of the night. NC since then.
I will say this... when someone steadily drinks ALOT...24/7 or begin having seizures (like my ex) it's flat out dangerous. I remember thinking constantly, HOLY SH*T! this is for a trained, medical professional... NOT me!!! Sadly when things get that bad, that extreme... their addiction is very close to death. At least it was for my ex.
And for me, this was the finale... my breaking point.
Also I wanted to point out a very complex and perplexing result occurs post withdrawal seizure, at least with my ex and from what her doctors told me, was extremely common. After the seizure, the individual is completely in a state of confusion or blank state... especially for addicts/alcoholics. Something in their brain turns muddy. My ex was intense... for hours, often days she couldn't remember anything at all... she'd slur her words... was very slow with everything... not remember her name... even what year it was... etc. It would take her days to recover. Twice (immediately post seizure) she couldn't even remember who I was. She'd scream & hit me thinking I was some lunatic man who had broke into our apartment. It was heart breaking to experience.
I learned a lot from every seizure, every detox, every hospitalization, every relapse. But I also LOST so much of myself within the anxiety of it all. Alcoholics are hell to deal with -- but alcoholics who also suffer from constant seizures become unbearable. She also lost so much of herself. With every seizure, her memory worsened... & our relationship was not salvageable.
There are anti-seizure medications but sadly, my ex took swallowed them with a glass of wine.
As every doctor told my ex... her seizures* can & will stop. But ONLY if she fully detoxed correctly (with proper medical supervision) and chose a sober life.
(* = there are other types of seizures/reasons for seizures. So as with my ex, they had to run many tests in case it was related to something more than just from alcohol withdrawal. In the end, for her... it was related 100% to her addiction).
In the beginning things were less severe (in her eyes!). She'd drink far too much... black out... I'd call 911 & she'd end up in the ER having small seizures & would then detox for 2-3 days at the hospital or addiction-based section of a well known clinic here.
However, I soon learned that for most addicts... alcohol withdrawal seizures become most severe 72-96+ hours post detox/her last drink. She'd get home from the ER & start having severe tremors & seizures. Her brain & memory would become foggy. She would then refuse a return trip to the hospital & would simply, crack open "only one" beer (her last famous words) to stop the episodes. One beer... would lead to 2... 3... etc etc.
Simply put: my ex had to drink consistently 24/7 or she'd have seizures. To maintain that intense level of addiction is beyond comprehension. I was in a constant state of panic... watching her obsess and panic.
So every 3-6 months she'd suddenly decide to detox at home without any warning (NOT recommended) & I'd have to put my entire life "on hold"... calling out from work, cancelling appointments... laying in bed with her puking & shaking all day/all night. It was so extremely upsetting & dangerous. No surprise, her seizures worsened & became more intense as the years went on... as her addiction worsened. She'd refuse treatment, or detoxing correctly at a hospital. No matter how hard I begged, she wouldn't detox correctly. My life was always on the back burner & I was left constantly worrying about her well being/health... & if the next seizure would be her very last.
Well, before I walked away a few weeks ago... she had a seizure so severe that she turned black & blue in my arms... & lost all consciousness. In fact, she completely stopped breathing. Time literally stood still. I urgently called 911 and a group of firemen & paramedics came... was rushed to the ER. She detoxed for 3 days & was sober for only 1 week, she relapsed hard & went back to drinking wine 24/7 which led to suicide attempts and an unforgiving darkness and depression within her like I had never seen.
It was 1000% too much & I officially moved out with only 1 bag in the middle of the night. NC since then.
I will say this... when someone steadily drinks ALOT...24/7 or begin having seizures (like my ex) it's flat out dangerous. I remember thinking constantly, HOLY SH*T! this is for a trained, medical professional... NOT me!!! Sadly when things get that bad, that extreme... their addiction is very close to death. At least it was for my ex.
And for me, this was the finale... my breaking point.
Also I wanted to point out a very complex and perplexing result occurs post withdrawal seizure, at least with my ex and from what her doctors told me, was extremely common. After the seizure, the individual is completely in a state of confusion or blank state... especially for addicts/alcoholics. Something in their brain turns muddy. My ex was intense... for hours, often days she couldn't remember anything at all... she'd slur her words... was very slow with everything... not remember her name... even what year it was... etc. It would take her days to recover. Twice (immediately post seizure) she couldn't even remember who I was. She'd scream & hit me thinking I was some lunatic man who had broke into our apartment. It was heart breaking to experience.
I learned a lot from every seizure, every detox, every hospitalization, every relapse. But I also LOST so much of myself within the anxiety of it all. Alcoholics are hell to deal with -- but alcoholics who also suffer from constant seizures become unbearable. She also lost so much of herself. With every seizure, her memory worsened... & our relationship was not salvageable.
There are anti-seizure medications but sadly, my ex took swallowed them with a glass of wine.
As every doctor told my ex... her seizures* can & will stop. But ONLY if she fully detoxed correctly (with proper medical supervision) and chose a sober life.
(* = there are other types of seizures/reasons for seizures. So as with my ex, they had to run many tests in case it was related to something more than just from alcohol withdrawal. In the end, for her... it was related 100% to her addiction).
Thanks for your knowledge in this topic. It makes me nauseous thinking about how bad things can get.
We are now admitted into the hospital for detox. I pray this works and she kicks this before it gets worse.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Imissmywife…..please take this opportunity to go back and read the advice that I gave you on 4/12/2019. I would still say the same things to you....(LOL..my fingers are too tired to type it all, again..lol)….
I suggested that you read the excellent articles in our extensive library, in the stickies...above the threads. Do read them. There are over a hundred...enough for you to read one every single day....
I, also, suggested that you read the most frequently recommended book, on this forum..."Co-Dependent No more"....it is an easy read, and I think that it will resonate with you, a lot.
I recommended that you seen an experienced alcoholism counselor to guide you...one who is a recovering alcoholic, him/her self....
You are going to need as much support and guidance as she does....otherwise, she will play you....easily....
The following is the link to that library of articles that I was talking about...
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)
No doubt, your wife will be approached about entering a rehab program of some type...or, at least, embark on an AA program....She has some decisions to make....
You have some important decisions to make, as well....
I hope that you will read and learn as much as you can...because knowledge is power, I think...
And, I do hope that you will continue to post here....
I suggested that you read the excellent articles in our extensive library, in the stickies...above the threads. Do read them. There are over a hundred...enough for you to read one every single day....
I, also, suggested that you read the most frequently recommended book, on this forum..."Co-Dependent No more"....it is an easy read, and I think that it will resonate with you, a lot.
I recommended that you seen an experienced alcoholism counselor to guide you...one who is a recovering alcoholic, him/her self....
You are going to need as much support and guidance as she does....otherwise, she will play you....easily....
The following is the link to that library of articles that I was talking about...
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)
No doubt, your wife will be approached about entering a rehab program of some type...or, at least, embark on an AA program....She has some decisions to make....
You have some important decisions to make, as well....
I hope that you will read and learn as much as you can...because knowledge is power, I think...
And, I do hope that you will continue to post here....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
it might help you if you shift from WE are admitted to the hospital for detox to SHE is admitted.........
yes you are a married couple. but SHE is the one with the alcohol problem and SHE will be the only one who can truly turn this around....or not.
she is in the best place possible.
but how about you? what is YOUR best place possible? that does not depend on how things go for her? you have a life to live regardless of what she does. i realize that is quite a jump in outlook, but stuff happens and life goes on. you need to at least consider your alternatives if this latest drama is a not a GO for sobriety. wasting our lives waiting for someone else to get busy living theirs is no way to live. IMHO.
i wish you both the very best. i truly do.
yes you are a married couple. but SHE is the one with the alcohol problem and SHE will be the only one who can truly turn this around....or not.
she is in the best place possible.
but how about you? what is YOUR best place possible? that does not depend on how things go for her? you have a life to live regardless of what she does. i realize that is quite a jump in outlook, but stuff happens and life goes on. you need to at least consider your alternatives if this latest drama is a not a GO for sobriety. wasting our lives waiting for someone else to get busy living theirs is no way to live. IMHO.
i wish you both the very best. i truly do.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 395
Imissmywife: Your post brought me right back... & I definitely hope both positivity & clarity comes to you, your family & your wife during all this.
Remember to take some time for yourself, even while she's in the hospital. Trust me, you'll need a breather. Usually a partner needs to leave by 8/9pm anyhow. So perhaps spend a little quality time with your daughter even if it's difficult. I made the mistake, in the past, of being there (at the hospital) ALOT because of my guilt & worry. It will eat you alive. Looking back - it would have been better for both myself & my ex if I had given her more time to reflect on her life... her addiction while in that hospital bed alone. And it would have given me time for some much need self-analysis on myself, my future & if the relationship was worth saving.
Wishing you & your family the best tonight...
Remember to take some time for yourself, even while she's in the hospital. Trust me, you'll need a breather. Usually a partner needs to leave by 8/9pm anyhow. So perhaps spend a little quality time with your daughter even if it's difficult. I made the mistake, in the past, of being there (at the hospital) ALOT because of my guilt & worry. It will eat you alive. Looking back - it would have been better for both myself & my ex if I had given her more time to reflect on her life... her addiction while in that hospital bed alone. And it would have given me time for some much need self-analysis on myself, my future & if the relationship was worth saving.
Wishing you & your family the best tonight...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: In the Country
Posts: 530
Originally Posted by LifeChangeNYC
Imissmywife: Yes, for 5 years I agonized about my AXGF's alcohol withdrawal seizures. Her addiction: beer (15-20+ cans p/day) & boxed wine (an entire box) or 3-4 full bottles of white wine every day. She'd drink all day & night... at 5am she'd pop open a beer or pour a glass of wine in a coffee mug while lightin' up a cig. If we went anywhere... she'd have her thermos of wine with her at all times, tucked in her handbag, like an alcoholic's security blanket. Makes my stomach turn just thinking back...
In the beginning things were less severe (in her eyes!). She'd drink far too much... black out... I'd call 911 & she'd end up in the ER having small seizures & would then detox for 2-3 days at the hospital or addiction-based section of a well known clinic here.
However, I soon learned that for most addicts... alcohol withdrawal seizures become most severe 72-96+ hours post detox/her last drink. She'd get home from the ER & start having severe tremors & seizures. Her brain & memory would become foggy. She would then refuse a return trip to the hospital & would simply, crack open "only one" beer (her last famous words) to stop the episodes. One beer... would lead to 2... 3... etc etc.
Simply put: my ex had to drink consistently 24/7 or she'd have seizures. To maintain that intense level of addiction is beyond comprehension. I was in a constant state of panic... watching her obsess and panic.
So every 3-6 months she'd suddenly decide to detox at home without any warning (NOT recommended) & I'd have to put my entire life "on hold"... calling out from work, cancelling appointments... laying in bed with her puking & shaking all day/all night. It was so extremely upsetting & dangerous. No surprise, her seizures worsened & became more intense as the years went on... as her addiction worsened. She'd refuse treatment, or detoxing correctly at a hospital. No matter how hard I begged, she wouldn't detox correctly. My life was always on the back burner & I was left constantly worrying about her well being/health... & if the next seizure would be her very last.
Well, before I walked away a few weeks ago... she had a seizure so severe that she turned black & blue in my arms... & lost all consciousness. In fact, she completely stopped breathing. Time literally stood still. I urgently called 911 and a group of firemen & paramedics came... was rushed to the ER. She detoxed for 3 days & was sober for only 1 week, she relapsed hard & went back to drinking wine 24/7 which led to suicide attempts and an unforgiving darkness and depression within her like I had never seen.
It was 1000% too much & I officially moved out with only 1 bag in the middle of the night. NC since then.
I will say this... when someone steadily drinks ALOT...24/7 or begin having seizures (like my ex) it's flat out dangerous. I remember thinking constantly, HOLY SH*T! this is for a trained, medical professional... NOT me!!! Sadly when things get that bad, that extreme... their addiction is very close to death. At least it was for my ex.
And for me, this was the finale... my breaking point.
Also I wanted to point out a very complex and perplexing result occurs post withdrawal seizure, at least with my ex and from what her doctors told me, was extremely common. After the seizure, the individual is completely in a state of confusion or blank state... especially for addicts/alcoholics. Something in their brain turns muddy. My ex was intense... for hours, often days she couldn't remember anything at all... she'd slur her words... was very slow with everything... not remember her name... even what year it was... etc. It would take her days to recover. Twice (immediately post seizure) she couldn't even remember who I was. She'd scream & hit me thinking I was some lunatic man who had broke into our apartment. It was heart breaking to experience.
I learned a lot from every seizure, every detox, every hospitalization, every relapse. But I also LOST so much of myself within the anxiety of it all. Alcoholics are hell to deal with -- but alcoholics who also suffer from constant seizures become unbearable. She also lost so much of herself. With every seizure, her memory worsened... & our relationship was not salvageable.
There are anti-seizure medications but sadly, my ex took swallowed them with a glass of wine.
As every doctor told my ex... her seizures* can & will stop. But ONLY if she fully detoxed correctly (with proper medical supervision) and chose a sober life.
(* = there are other types of seizures/reasons for seizures. So as with my ex, they had to run many tests in case it was related to something more than just from alcohol withdrawal. In the end, for her... it was related 100% to her addiction).
In the beginning things were less severe (in her eyes!). She'd drink far too much... black out... I'd call 911 & she'd end up in the ER having small seizures & would then detox for 2-3 days at the hospital or addiction-based section of a well known clinic here.
However, I soon learned that for most addicts... alcohol withdrawal seizures become most severe 72-96+ hours post detox/her last drink. She'd get home from the ER & start having severe tremors & seizures. Her brain & memory would become foggy. She would then refuse a return trip to the hospital & would simply, crack open "only one" beer (her last famous words) to stop the episodes. One beer... would lead to 2... 3... etc etc.
Simply put: my ex had to drink consistently 24/7 or she'd have seizures. To maintain that intense level of addiction is beyond comprehension. I was in a constant state of panic... watching her obsess and panic.
So every 3-6 months she'd suddenly decide to detox at home without any warning (NOT recommended) & I'd have to put my entire life "on hold"... calling out from work, cancelling appointments... laying in bed with her puking & shaking all day/all night. It was so extremely upsetting & dangerous. No surprise, her seizures worsened & became more intense as the years went on... as her addiction worsened. She'd refuse treatment, or detoxing correctly at a hospital. No matter how hard I begged, she wouldn't detox correctly. My life was always on the back burner & I was left constantly worrying about her well being/health... & if the next seizure would be her very last.
Well, before I walked away a few weeks ago... she had a seizure so severe that she turned black & blue in my arms... & lost all consciousness. In fact, she completely stopped breathing. Time literally stood still. I urgently called 911 and a group of firemen & paramedics came... was rushed to the ER. She detoxed for 3 days & was sober for only 1 week, she relapsed hard & went back to drinking wine 24/7 which led to suicide attempts and an unforgiving darkness and depression within her like I had never seen.
It was 1000% too much & I officially moved out with only 1 bag in the middle of the night. NC since then.
I will say this... when someone steadily drinks ALOT...24/7 or begin having seizures (like my ex) it's flat out dangerous. I remember thinking constantly, HOLY SH*T! this is for a trained, medical professional... NOT me!!! Sadly when things get that bad, that extreme... their addiction is very close to death. At least it was for my ex.
And for me, this was the finale... my breaking point.
Also I wanted to point out a very complex and perplexing result occurs post withdrawal seizure, at least with my ex and from what her doctors told me, was extremely common. After the seizure, the individual is completely in a state of confusion or blank state... especially for addicts/alcoholics. Something in their brain turns muddy. My ex was intense... for hours, often days she couldn't remember anything at all... she'd slur her words... was very slow with everything... not remember her name... even what year it was... etc. It would take her days to recover. Twice (immediately post seizure) she couldn't even remember who I was. She'd scream & hit me thinking I was some lunatic man who had broke into our apartment. It was heart breaking to experience.
I learned a lot from every seizure, every detox, every hospitalization, every relapse. But I also LOST so much of myself within the anxiety of it all. Alcoholics are hell to deal with -- but alcoholics who also suffer from constant seizures become unbearable. She also lost so much of herself. With every seizure, her memory worsened... & our relationship was not salvageable.
There are anti-seizure medications but sadly, my ex took swallowed them with a glass of wine.
As every doctor told my ex... her seizures* can & will stop. But ONLY if she fully detoxed correctly (with proper medical supervision) and chose a sober life.
(* = there are other types of seizures/reasons for seizures. So as with my ex, they had to run many tests in case it was related to something more than just from alcohol withdrawal. In the end, for her... it was related 100% to her addiction).
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 395
The suffering & heartbreak is on both sides... I'm so sorry My ex was simply too consumed by addiction to admit the struggle was just to great for both her & me. Sadly I had to be the one to say goodbye. Wishing you & your husband the very best, Sweetpeacan.
Hope you are doing OK, Imissmywife...
My ex was simply too consumed by addiction to admit the struggle was just to great for both her & me. Sadly I had to be the one to say goodbye. Wishing you & your husband the very best, Sweetpeacan.Hope you are doing OK, Imissmywife...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by LifeChangeNYC
The suffering & heartbreak is on both sides... I'm so sorry My ex was simply too consumed by addiction to admit the struggle was just to great for both her & me. Sadly I had to be the one to say goodbye. Wishing you & your husband the very best, Sweetpeacan.
Hope you are doing OK, Imissmywife...
My ex was simply too consumed by addiction to admit the struggle was just to great for both her & me. Sadly I had to be the one to say goodbye. Wishing you & your husband the very best, Sweetpeacan.Hope you are doing OK, Imissmywife...
Thanks LifeChange. I slept at my daughters apartment last night ( near the hospital). My AW Dr said she will be in hospital until at least Tuesday morning and she suggested my wife get to a rehab facility. As of right this moment my wife is in agreement and agrees she needs some help. This is gonna be a rough week so please pray for my family
Hoping for a happy resolution to this difficult journey.
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