Hello all

i thought I’d share my experiences and thoughts, hope it helps someone. My story isn’t especially different or amazing, but I think I’ve beaten alcoholism which can’t be bad.

49-year-old male, used to drink wine and/or beer every evening. This went on for about 12 years, and my weekly consumption was 70 U.K. units. I was overweight with a BMI of 32 (obese) was sedentary and hangovers were the norm.

I wanted to lose weight and did so very successfully through diet, exercise and cutting down alcohol to 40 U.K. units, which equates to about half a bottle of wine every evening. I’d lost over 12Kg in a couple of months, but two things bugged me. Firstly, it’s daft to work so hard at the gym and then consume 400 or so useless calories of alcohol. More importantly, though, that 40 units a week wasn’t enough for my craving. I wanted more. I realise that a decade of heavy drinking had made me alcohol dependent.

Then comes the usual cycle of cutting down and starting again. To cut an already long story short, the message is clear. If you want to drink every day and miss it if you don’t, you’re alcohol dependent. To then cut down is tremendously difficult, if not impossible. The only way, as hard as it seems, is to stop altogether. Yes, the urge will be maddening to start, but it will subside over weeks and months. Having “just one” will fuel that urge and send you back to square one.

As well as the weight problem, I had aches and pains from a “mild fatty liver” (diagnosed by a general ultrasound). The fact I still continued to drink with these pains seems like insanity now. A fatty liver is very likely to turn into cirrhosis, which is just about the worst disease I think I’ve ever read about. Your blood turns toxic sending ammonia into your brain and causing you to be mad for want of a better word. The blood supply gets blocked by liver scarring, and pressure rises in the surrounding veins which then bleed heavily. I was on another forum where posters had had transplants. Imagine having that massive operation and the very real psychological effect of having a liver from someone who sadly met with an early death, and all this because you wanted to drink alcohol.

i’m not anti-alcohol at all. If someone can stick to sensible limits (14 UK units a week), enjoy. But for the likes of me, I can never drink again. The physical effects of a few drinks on one occasion will be zero for me, but the mental anguish, i.e. that urge that will be reignited, is serious and, without wishing to sound dramatic, potentially deadly.

So, having cut down 18 months ago and stopping 4 months ago, I am a different person. I’m not a bore (hopefully) and go to the pub with mates, etc, but I’ve been given a second chance at life - I’m now BMI 26 and in a running club - which is so much easier without alcohol.

Great post and well done 👍

Thanks August

Like just about everyone else in this position, I’ve quit before for two or three weeks at a time. During those (very long) two or three weeks, I’d considered myself an ex-drinker and “woukd never drink again”. I then had “just the one” and was back to 40+ units a week within days.

I’ve read posts elsewhere from people who quit for years and had “just the one” and went back to heavy drinking. I’m no different to anyone else, so I reckon exactly the same would happen to me.

If I do relapse - and it is statistically likely - i’ll have to stop and start that long battle again. But that urge now only comes when I’m very tired or in a “drink” setting such as an airport. It’s so much easier to resist that urge for a few minutes than to feed that urge and be back at square one

Trying to run with the day before’s half bottle of wine on board isn’t fun. I once had such bad acid reflux, I thought it was a heart attack.

Big well done on 9 months

Good point. My evenings used to be a bottle of wine in front of the TV or computer. I’m quite sporty now and would get restless in front of a TV. Instead I’ll go to the gym, etc. The only issue there is if I was unable to train, I’d get bored and need something else to do - except drink of course.

Is that what you meant by what am I doing? It would be harder to stop/cut down I’d still sat in front of a TV, yes.

You’re right to highlight it. I deliberately added the word “think” to my sentence I think I’ve beaten alcohol.

I recently read about an ex-drinker who’d been 18 months dry. He had one glass of Baileys one night and was a heavy drinker again in days. Fortunately he’s now stopped drinking, but he was a clever professional guy, and it shocked me that he was dragged back in like that. I’m not so arrogant to believe for a second I’m different to him. Regular heavy drinking for years has definitely affected me mentally. My brain has been hard wired now to expect alcohol, and it won’t change back ever. If I drink one, I’ll feed that urge.

So yes, good point. I’ll be a coward and rephrase it as follows:

“Alcohol has beaten me so I’ll hide away from it forever.”

Fortunately, I’m not scared to be around alcohol and can go to pubs/bars to order coffee or alcohol free. I even cook with alcohol sometimes and that must mean I ingest some alcohol in the food. But it’s a tiny amount which I don’t notice and am not drinking from a bottle or glass.

I’m not being narrow-minded, well I am but I mean I’m doing it in a polite way , but do people need a program as such?

My wife, for example, has never drunk, which is obviously a bonus, so I thought I could just live like that.

As I said above, I acknowledge I’m not special or different, and better people than me have relapsed after months or years. It will be an ongoing battle, for want of a better word, but my urge to drink has subsided hugely.