Self Forgiveness
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Self Forgiveness
Self doubt, negative self talk, placing yourself in a state of perdition... I've come to sense that it's all aspects of the same thing.
I think it starts even before we have the words or awareness to describe it or articulate it - a feeling in the gut, a moment of social anxiety, a general feeling of malaise and rumination about the past....
Let it go. Here's a different perspective to recall when you see yourself mired in those pits, on that dark and lonely road-
Truth is, you are who you are. There were valid reasons for what you did. There were - are - valid reasons even for why you drink and why you insist on dumping a heaping, steaming pile of garbage into your life over and over and over again.
There are reasons for it, and they are valid.
The way out is to understand that it's not helpful to dwell on the reasons, it's about understanding consequences and starting to own the space around you... starting inside.
You are a remarkable creature. To have survived to this point is nothing short of a miracle. Yet, you did. So here you are. What do you want today to look like? Tomorrow?
Eliminate the toxic influences. Start now. Start with the obvious. Do one of these things every day or three. Make "I will not toxify my life" your mantra. Save yourself. No one will do it for you.
There is no person, group, institution, or expectation - internal or external - that has a right to expect you to continue to live in ****. If you find a situation or a relationship or anything else causes you to react in a way that brings forth intolerable levels of self loathing and doubt eliminate it. You owe no one an explanation except for that person staring back at you in the mirror. To that person, you must be honest. But also fair. Give yourself a break.
Set a new standard. Be exceptional to yourself. Be original. Be at peace with yourself. It's right there... in front of you... now.
Best to you-
B
PS - 14+ months now. I don't count days anymore. I go long periods of time without thinking about booze and 99.9% of the time I do I laugh at how ridiculous it is. It's a great place to be. That said, in many ways I feel my recovery is only now really starting. It's only been a week or so that I've begun to feel at peace with some old demons... more work to do. Addition by subtraction...
Hope peeps are well. I'm grateful for this place still and the essential role it played in walking with me through my time in the ****.
I think it starts even before we have the words or awareness to describe it or articulate it - a feeling in the gut, a moment of social anxiety, a general feeling of malaise and rumination about the past....
Let it go. Here's a different perspective to recall when you see yourself mired in those pits, on that dark and lonely road-
Truth is, you are who you are. There were valid reasons for what you did. There were - are - valid reasons even for why you drink and why you insist on dumping a heaping, steaming pile of garbage into your life over and over and over again.
There are reasons for it, and they are valid.
The way out is to understand that it's not helpful to dwell on the reasons, it's about understanding consequences and starting to own the space around you... starting inside.
You are a remarkable creature. To have survived to this point is nothing short of a miracle. Yet, you did. So here you are. What do you want today to look like? Tomorrow?
Eliminate the toxic influences. Start now. Start with the obvious. Do one of these things every day or three. Make "I will not toxify my life" your mantra. Save yourself. No one will do it for you.
There is no person, group, institution, or expectation - internal or external - that has a right to expect you to continue to live in ****. If you find a situation or a relationship or anything else causes you to react in a way that brings forth intolerable levels of self loathing and doubt eliminate it. You owe no one an explanation except for that person staring back at you in the mirror. To that person, you must be honest. But also fair. Give yourself a break.
Set a new standard. Be exceptional to yourself. Be original. Be at peace with yourself. It's right there... in front of you... now.
Best to you-
B
PS - 14+ months now. I don't count days anymore. I go long periods of time without thinking about booze and 99.9% of the time I do I laugh at how ridiculous it is. It's a great place to be. That said, in many ways I feel my recovery is only now really starting. It's only been a week or so that I've begun to feel at peace with some old demons... more work to do. Addition by subtraction...
Hope peeps are well. I'm grateful for this place still and the essential role it played in walking with me through my time in the ****.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
This is the good stuff. Thanks so much. Currently reading a book called “The Body Keeps Score: Brain, Mind, And Body In The Healing Of Trauma”. Check it out if you’re inclined; I bet you’d like it.
Congratulations on your sober time!
-b
Congratulations on your sober time!
-b
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
What's up my brother, great to hear from you. All of this is deeply true and important.
I'm in month 13 and couldn't agree more that recovering from the muck and misery of the drink is only the beginning. The real work starts now.
Chopping wood, carrying water.
I'm in month 13 and couldn't agree more that recovering from the muck and misery of the drink is only the beginning. The real work starts now.
Chopping wood, carrying water.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
I always love your posts Buckley. This is great advice for anyone struggling right now.
Your story is one to read if people are feeling like they can not turn things around, you are a shining example of how to do it.
Thanks for being an inspiration to many!
❤️Delilah
Your story is one to read if people are feeling like they can not turn things around, you are a shining example of how to do it.
Thanks for being an inspiration to many!
❤️Delilah
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
So many profound replies. That's why I love the process of recovery and sharing it with others in similar boats - the honesty, the genuiness, and the real importance of the topic transcend so much of the superficial and manipulative forces that are so abundant in this world.
Appreciate you all.
-B
Appreciate you all.
-B
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 83
Thank you for that.
Originally Posted by Buckley3 
Self doubt, negative self talk, placing yourself in a state of perdition... I've come to sense that it's all aspects of the same thing.
I think it starts even before we have the words or awareness to describe it or articulate it - a feeling in the gut, a moment of social anxiety, a general feeling of malaise and rumination about the past....
Let it go. Here's a different perspective to recall when you see yourself mired in those pits, on that dark and lonely road-
Truth is, you are who you are. There were valid reasons for what you did. There were - are - valid reasons even for why you drink and why you insist on dumping a heaping, steaming pile of garbage into your life over and over and over again.
There are reasons for it, and they are valid.
The way out is to understand that it's not helpful to dwell on the reasons, it's about understanding consequences and starting to own the space around you... starting inside.
You are a remarkable creature. To have survived to this point is nothing short of a miracle. Yet, you did. So here you are. What do you want today to look like? Tomorrow?
Eliminate the toxic influences. Start now. Start with the obvious. Do one of these things every day or three. Make "I will not toxify my life" your mantra. Save yourself. No one will do it for you.
There is no person, group, institution, or expectation - internal or external - that has a right to expect you to continue to live in ****. If you find a situation or a relationship or anything else causes you to react in a way that brings forth intolerable levels of self loathing and doubt eliminate it. You owe no one an explanation except for that person staring back at you in the mirror. To that person, you must be honest. But also fair. Give yourself a break.
Set a new standard. Be exceptional to yourself. Be original. Be at peace with yourself. It's right there... in front of you... now.
Best to you-
B
PS - 14+ months now. I don't count days anymore. I go long periods of time without thinking about booze and 99.9% of the time I do I laugh at how ridiculous it is. It's a great place to be. That said, in many ways I feel my recovery is only now really starting. It's only been a week or so that I've begun to feel at peace with some old demons... more work to do. Addition by subtraction...
Hope peeps are well. I'm grateful for this place still and the essential role it played in walking with me through my time in the ****.
I think it starts even before we have the words or awareness to describe it or articulate it - a feeling in the gut, a moment of social anxiety, a general feeling of malaise and rumination about the past....
Let it go. Here's a different perspective to recall when you see yourself mired in those pits, on that dark and lonely road-
Truth is, you are who you are. There were valid reasons for what you did. There were - are - valid reasons even for why you drink and why you insist on dumping a heaping, steaming pile of garbage into your life over and over and over again.
There are reasons for it, and they are valid.
The way out is to understand that it's not helpful to dwell on the reasons, it's about understanding consequences and starting to own the space around you... starting inside.
You are a remarkable creature. To have survived to this point is nothing short of a miracle. Yet, you did. So here you are. What do you want today to look like? Tomorrow?
Eliminate the toxic influences. Start now. Start with the obvious. Do one of these things every day or three. Make "I will not toxify my life" your mantra. Save yourself. No one will do it for you.
There is no person, group, institution, or expectation - internal or external - that has a right to expect you to continue to live in ****. If you find a situation or a relationship or anything else causes you to react in a way that brings forth intolerable levels of self loathing and doubt eliminate it. You owe no one an explanation except for that person staring back at you in the mirror. To that person, you must be honest. But also fair. Give yourself a break.
Set a new standard. Be exceptional to yourself. Be original. Be at peace with yourself. It's right there... in front of you... now.
Best to you-
B
PS - 14+ months now. I don't count days anymore. I go long periods of time without thinking about booze and 99.9% of the time I do I laugh at how ridiculous it is. It's a great place to be. That said, in many ways I feel my recovery is only now really starting. It's only been a week or so that I've begun to feel at peace with some old demons... more work to do. Addition by subtraction...
Hope peeps are well. I'm grateful for this place still and the essential role it played in walking with me through my time in the ****.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 135
I love your posts, Buckley. I wish I could eliminate the drug court which causes me to react in a way that brings forth intolerable levels of self-loathing...I’m over 9 months sober and have about 7 months left of drug court. I have eliminated other toxic institutions and individuals.
So, I’m working on acceptance and self-care. And resentments.
Thanks for this post. Always nice to hear from you.
So, I’m working on acceptance and self-care. And resentments.
Thanks for this post. Always nice to hear from you.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: London
Posts: 232
Thanks for beautiful info ..
Originally Posted by Buckley3
Self doubt, negative self talk, placing yourself in a state of perdition... I've come to sense that it's all aspects of the same thing.
I think it starts even before we have the words or awareness to describe it or articulate it - a feeling in the gut, a moment of social anxiety, a general feeling of malaise and rumination about the past....
Let it go. Here's a different perspective to recall when you see yourself mired in those pits, on that dark and lonely road-
Truth is, you are who you are. There were valid reasons for what you did. There were - are - valid reasons even for why you drink and why you insist on dumping a heaping, steaming pile of garbage into your life over and over and over again.
There are reasons for it, and they are valid.
The way out is to understand that it's not helpful to dwell on the reasons, it's about understanding consequences and starting to own the space around you... starting inside.
You are a remarkable creature. To have survived to this point is nothing short of a miracle. Yet, you did. So here you are. What do you want today to look like? Tomorrow?
Eliminate the toxic influences. Start now. Start with the obvious. Do one of these things every day or three. Make "I will not toxify my life" your mantra. Save yourself. No one will do it for you.
There is no person, group, institution, or expectation - internal or external - that has a right to expect you to continue to live in ****. If you find a situation or a relationship or anything else causes you to react in a way that brings forth intolerable levels of self loathing and doubt eliminate it. You owe no one an explanation except for that person staring back at you in the mirror. To that person, you must be honest. But also fair. Give yourself a break.
Set a new standard. Be exceptional to yourself. Be original. Be at peace with yourself. It's right there... in front of you... now.
Best to you-
B
PS - 14+ months now. I don't count days anymore. I go long periods of time without thinking about booze and 99.9% of the time I do I laugh at how ridiculous it is. It's a great place to be. That said, in many ways I feel my recovery is only now really starting. It's only been a week or so that I've begun to feel at peace with some old demons... more work to do. Addition by subtraction...
Hope peeps are well. I'm grateful for this place still and the essential role it played in walking with me through my time in the ****.
I think it starts even before we have the words or awareness to describe it or articulate it - a feeling in the gut, a moment of social anxiety, a general feeling of malaise and rumination about the past....
Let it go. Here's a different perspective to recall when you see yourself mired in those pits, on that dark and lonely road-
Truth is, you are who you are. There were valid reasons for what you did. There were - are - valid reasons even for why you drink and why you insist on dumping a heaping, steaming pile of garbage into your life over and over and over again.
There are reasons for it, and they are valid.
The way out is to understand that it's not helpful to dwell on the reasons, it's about understanding consequences and starting to own the space around you... starting inside.
You are a remarkable creature. To have survived to this point is nothing short of a miracle. Yet, you did. So here you are. What do you want today to look like? Tomorrow?
Eliminate the toxic influences. Start now. Start with the obvious. Do one of these things every day or three. Make "I will not toxify my life" your mantra. Save yourself. No one will do it for you.
There is no person, group, institution, or expectation - internal or external - that has a right to expect you to continue to live in ****. If you find a situation or a relationship or anything else causes you to react in a way that brings forth intolerable levels of self loathing and doubt eliminate it. You owe no one an explanation except for that person staring back at you in the mirror. To that person, you must be honest. But also fair. Give yourself a break.
Set a new standard. Be exceptional to yourself. Be original. Be at peace with yourself. It's right there... in front of you... now.
Best to you-
B
PS - 14+ months now. I don't count days anymore. I go long periods of time without thinking about booze and 99.9% of the time I do I laugh at how ridiculous it is. It's a great place to be. That said, in many ways I feel my recovery is only now really starting. It's only been a week or so that I've begun to feel at peace with some old demons... more work to do. Addition by subtraction...
Hope peeps are well. I'm grateful for this place still and the essential role it played in walking with me through my time in the ****.
1.Forgive yourself and others we need not to see someone who we hurt just need willingness to forgice.We must not forget to forgive ourselves its vey important to clearring our garbage .
2.Let go that not serving us.
3.Accept yourselves as it is and the reality.We can't go back and fix our mistakemistakes.Its reality and we have to accept this . Once we accept the healing will begins.
4.Appreciate what you are and find the strengths within you .Be gratitude for the things you have.
5.Celebrate that you are alive and there is opportunity to make you good.
6.Love yourself no matter what eat /drink good and attract good thoughts.
all is good now !!!
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