‘There’s an elephant in the room’ Weekenders 03 - 06 May 2019
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,644
‘There’s an elephant in the room’ Weekenders 03 - 06 May 2019
The Elephant in the room, we do talk about!
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In my drinking days, I kept it a big secret, yes people knew I liked a drink, or three, but what they didn’t know is how much I drank.
It was my carefully guarded secret....Or so I thought.
It was a big secret though hardly ever mentioned, just there constantly, like the proverbial Elephant in the room.
The good news is we do talk about it, and support each other, we’re not shy to talk of alcohol and the cravings, which for some reason, seem worse at the weekends.
Please Join us and the Elephant in the room!
https://postimages.org/]
[/urlIn my drinking days, I kept it a big secret, yes people knew I liked a drink, or three, but what they didn’t know is how much I drank.
It was my carefully guarded secret....Or so I thought.
It was a big secret though hardly ever mentioned, just there constantly, like the proverbial Elephant in the room.
The good news is we do talk about it, and support each other, we’re not shy to talk of alcohol and the cravings, which for some reason, seem worse at the weekends.
Please Join us and the Elephant in the room!
ours de petit cerveau
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,630
thanks Mags, I'm in.
"So off he went. At first he thought that there wouldn't be a Heffalump in the Trap, and then he thought that there would, and as he got nearer he was sure that there would, because he could hear it heffalumping about it like anything.
"Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!" said Piglet to himself. And he wanted to run away. But somehow, having got so near, he felt that he must just see what a Heffalump was like. So he crept to the side of the Trap and looked in.
And all the time Winnie-the-Pooh had been trying to get the honey-jar off his head. The more he shook it, the more tightly it stuck. "Bother!" he said, inside the jar, and "Oh, help!" and, mostly, "Ow!" And he tried bumping it against things, but as he couldn't see what he was bumping it against, it didn't help him; and he tried to climb out of the Trap, but as he could see nothing but jar, and not much of that, he couldn't find his way. So at last he lifted up his head, jar and all, and made a loud, roaring noise of Sadness and Despair... and it was at that moment that Piglet looked down.
"Help, help!" cried Piglet, "a Heffalump, a Horrible Heffalump!" and he scampered off as hard as he could, still crying out, "Help, help, a Herrible Hoffalump! Hoff, Hoff, a Hellible Horralump! Holl, Holl, a Hoffable Hellerump!" And he didn't stop crying and scampering until he got to Christopher Robin's house."
"So off he went. At first he thought that there wouldn't be a Heffalump in the Trap, and then he thought that there would, and as he got nearer he was sure that there would, because he could hear it heffalumping about it like anything.
"Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!" said Piglet to himself. And he wanted to run away. But somehow, having got so near, he felt that he must just see what a Heffalump was like. So he crept to the side of the Trap and looked in.
And all the time Winnie-the-Pooh had been trying to get the honey-jar off his head. The more he shook it, the more tightly it stuck. "Bother!" he said, inside the jar, and "Oh, help!" and, mostly, "Ow!" And he tried bumping it against things, but as he couldn't see what he was bumping it against, it didn't help him; and he tried to climb out of the Trap, but as he could see nothing but jar, and not much of that, he couldn't find his way. So at last he lifted up his head, jar and all, and made a loud, roaring noise of Sadness and Despair... and it was at that moment that Piglet looked down.
"Help, help!" cried Piglet, "a Heffalump, a Horrible Heffalump!" and he scampered off as hard as he could, still crying out, "Help, help, a Herrible Hoffalump! Hoff, Hoff, a Hellible Horralump! Holl, Holl, a Hoffable Hellerump!" And he didn't stop crying and scampering until he got to Christopher Robin's house."
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
Shotgun, and oh bother. . .
That story would literally reduce me to laughing tears when my mom would read it to me when I was little--thanks andyh!
It's raining again here--even some thunder and lightning.
I wonder when I will be able to plant the tomatoes and flowers I bought two weeks ago now. Geez. . .
Mags, thanks for the thread and the thought.
I'm sure people knew a lot more about my drinking than I thought back then.
I sure can tell when other people drink a lot and think they hide it--takes one to know one, right? The little tremor, bloodshot eyes, reddish face. Just dullness all over.
Nice to wake up with bright eyes, rested, and ready for the day, isn't it?
That story would literally reduce me to laughing tears when my mom would read it to me when I was little--thanks andyh!
It's raining again here--even some thunder and lightning.
I wonder when I will be able to plant the tomatoes and flowers I bought two weeks ago now. Geez. . .
Mags, thanks for the thread and the thought.
I'm sure people knew a lot more about my drinking than I thought back then.
I sure can tell when other people drink a lot and think they hide it--takes one to know one, right? The little tremor, bloodshot eyes, reddish face. Just dullness all over.
Nice to wake up with bright eyes, rested, and ready for the day, isn't it?
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,756
Thanks Mags,
I still couldn't talk about the Elephant IRL even after I stopped. I think at two weeks in I broached the subject with Mrs D but talk at any length. Silly now that I think of it. I knew I had a problem but could not talk to anyone about it. I think partly because if I said it out loud that meant a commitment, if I struggled in silence booze was still an option. Oh how I wish I had spoken out and done this sooner.
I still couldn't talk about the Elephant IRL even after I stopped. I think at two weeks in I broached the subject with Mrs D but talk at any length. Silly now that I think of it. I knew I had a problem but could not talk to anyone about it. I think partly because if I said it out loud that meant a commitment, if I struggled in silence booze was still an option. Oh how I wish I had spoken out and done this sooner.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Carrying this over from the last thread, because it's Forwards' Four Months and that's HUGE! Welcome to Weekenders, Forwards. Congrats on that sober time.
..and also because - Thank you for validating my [possibly mistaken] belief that I liked the tea discussion. You all UKers certainly can dissect a simple concept, eh? I had no idea it was so complicated, but then - humans.
Way too much going on around me that needs my attention and I'm not coping well. Not sleeping.
Routines. Comfort. I need.
Love the Pooh thingy.
Maybe a grumpy kitten will help.
Originally Posted by Forwards 
Hi All,
Enjoying lurking on this thread - the 'weekenders' are always good reading...
Congrats Kaily on 6 months - great going! It's for 4 months today for me :-)
Oh, and my evening meal is 'dinner'. 'Tea' is light refreshments mid afternoon...
Enjoying lurking on this thread - the 'weekenders' are always good reading...
Congrats Kaily on 6 months - great going! It's for 4 months today for me :-)
Oh, and my evening meal is 'dinner'. 'Tea' is light refreshments mid afternoon...
'Tea' is light refreshments mid afternoon...
Way too much going on around me that needs my attention and I'm not coping well. Not sleeping.
Routines. Comfort. I need.
Love the Pooh thingy.
Maybe a grumpy kitten will help.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
Thanks for the new thread Mags and the lovely albeit a bit squashed elephant pic. Hope he finds his way out soon..
Bim sorry your feeling a bit blur. I like and need routine, get unsettled very easily. Hope you feel better soon.
Forward I did congratulate you on the other thread but just in case you didn't see it ~ well done 4 months is Great!
I live alone so there wasn't really any elephants anywhere. But what does amaze me is how when in active addiction you attract people into your life, without even looking for them that are the same as you.
For instance I was walking my dogs in fields close to my home some years ago, I was recently bereaved having just lost my partner to a terrible accident. I met a man walking his dog, we had an instant connection without knowing we were both alcoholics.
Obviously it didn't take long to find out, we became drinking pals and after a while had a chaotic and volatile relationship. I learn't from him I didn't have to wait till wine o clock, I could drink all day. Funny the deeper I got into addiction the more he climbed out.
I have had similar experiences with neighbours, an instant click then later you find you have drinking problems in common. I never seem to attract people that sip water and eat carrot sticks!
Anyway now I just keep myself to myself, probably more than is actually healthy.
Bim sorry your feeling a bit blur. I like and need routine, get unsettled very easily. Hope you feel better soon.
Forward I did congratulate you on the other thread but just in case you didn't see it ~ well done 4 months is Great!
I live alone so there wasn't really any elephants anywhere. But what does amaze me is how when in active addiction you attract people into your life, without even looking for them that are the same as you.
For instance I was walking my dogs in fields close to my home some years ago, I was recently bereaved having just lost my partner to a terrible accident. I met a man walking his dog, we had an instant connection without knowing we were both alcoholics.
Obviously it didn't take long to find out, we became drinking pals and after a while had a chaotic and volatile relationship. I learn't from him I didn't have to wait till wine o clock, I could drink all day. Funny the deeper I got into addiction the more he climbed out.
I have had similar experiences with neighbours, an instant click then later you find you have drinking problems in common. I never seem to attract people that sip water and eat carrot sticks!
Anyway now I just keep myself to myself, probably more than is actually healthy.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I'm in!
Lots of good and deep stuff on this thread already.
Congrats on 4 months, Forwards! Keep it going!
I think I did my kids a huge disservice by not reading them more Pooh when they were little. My mom read it to me, then I read it to myself. I still have my old Pooh books. Thank goodness I have a 4-year-old granddaughter now, and I can read them to her. Must dig them out and start doing that.
I'm in a funk myself these days, Bim. Not sleeping well, feeling really blah about life in general. Too busy to take a break of any kind. Thankfully, summer is coming and work slows way down. I bought a kayak recently, and I'm equipping my tackle box. Looking forward to quiet days on the lake, just me and the water and fish, and perhaps the man friend sometimes.
Lots of good and deep stuff on this thread already.
Congrats on 4 months, Forwards! Keep it going!
I think I did my kids a huge disservice by not reading them more Pooh when they were little. My mom read it to me, then I read it to myself. I still have my old Pooh books. Thank goodness I have a 4-year-old granddaughter now, and I can read them to her. Must dig them out and start doing that.
I'm in a funk myself these days, Bim. Not sleeping well, feeling really blah about life in general. Too busy to take a break of any kind. Thankfully, summer is coming and work slows way down. I bought a kayak recently, and I'm equipping my tackle box. Looking forward to quiet days on the lake, just me and the water and fish, and perhaps the man friend sometimes.
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,644
Kaily, all my friends were drinkers, when I came across someone who wasn’t, I thought there was something wrong with them!
But there really are many people who don’t drink, I’ve found.
P.S. elephant is a bit squashed, but she’s happy she says.
But there really are many people who don’t drink, I’ve found.
P.S. elephant is a bit squashed, but she’s happy she says.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I have never fished from a kayak. But I bought a kayak specifically designed to fish from. I have very very little experience with kayaks. This should be interesting. I'm fully planning on ending up in the water while I get the hang of it. I have quite a bit of experience with canoes, though. Maybe I'll be ok.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
Mags, thanks for the new thread and your brilliant, associated post.
Andy’s, thanks so much for the Pooh story - so endearing.
Bim and MLD, have you tried melatonin. It has been a game changer for me. Maybe, speak with your doctor about the right dose for you and your sleep patterns.
Love kayaking, too. Life and a serious leg wound have kept me out of the water lately but looking forward to return to the paddle.
Have a lovely day, all.
Congrats, Forwards!
Andy’s, thanks so much for the Pooh story - so endearing.
Bim and MLD, have you tried melatonin. It has been a game changer for me. Maybe, speak with your doctor about the right dose for you and your sleep patterns.
Love kayaking, too. Life and a serious leg wound have kept me out of the water lately but looking forward to return to the paddle.
Have a lovely day, all.
Congrats, Forwards!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I have tried melatonin. It makes me have terrible nightmares. No thanks! I can get to sleep fine, but I've been waking up in the middle of the night in a panic. I used to do that all the time when I still drank, and it's a very unwelcome development right now. Thought I was done with all that. I think in my case some of it hormonal. Ya know, that mid-life lady thing that happens to all of us. I think I have to just tough it out.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Well I'm already past that age, MLD and I've got the same thing going on.
I'll never take melatonin again. Horrible scary nightmares.
I have a few pretty big life events/crises right now and I'm just overwhelmed. It's going to all work out, even if I have to sell my place...I'm just stressed. I think age is part of it - the longer I live the more I have seen that can and does go wrong not only for me but in the world in general.
I am comforted by the fact that I don't see a bunch of old people on the streets panhandling and/or sleeping in church parking lots - so there must be some social support. I'm just feeling untethered right now. No family and not working - too much worry time.
I'll never take melatonin again. Horrible scary nightmares.
I have a few pretty big life events/crises right now and I'm just overwhelmed. It's going to all work out, even if I have to sell my place...I'm just stressed. I think age is part of it - the longer I live the more I have seen that can and does go wrong not only for me but in the world in general.
I am comforted by the fact that I don't see a bunch of old people on the streets panhandling and/or sleeping in church parking lots - so there must be some social support. I'm just feeling untethered right now. No family and not working - too much worry time.
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