Notices

First true attempt at sobriety

Old 05-02-2019, 12:34 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
KremlinDusk's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 28
First true attempt at sobriety

Hi guys,

Im officially five days sober and I had my first craving today so I think its he best time to dive in here. As a bit of background, Im 37/m/single. Not much in terms of friends or family. I never started drinking with any regularlity until I was 32. There wasn't even a catalytic event. I just simply became involved with someone who was an alcoholic and my own drinking progressed from there.

I didn't start drinking daily and heavily until about 2 years ago when my job became very stressful. I also got promoted to a position where I rarely interacted with other employees face to face so began drinking in my car during breaks and lunches without fearing someone would suspect anything. At my worst it wouldve been a 16oz water bottle full of vodka throughout the workshift. Even then, after I get home I would continue to drink. Weekends? Who knows. It was always straight Grey Goose, no chaser. Never beer or wine.

I was never a binge or blackout drinker though. More like an IV dripper. I stopped when I got too nauseated or it was time to sleep. My health has been trashed thoughout years, Im now overweight on blood pressure meds, tons of GI issues, "mildly elevated" liver enzymes, gout, chronic fatigue, nausea. I don't even remember how good food tastes because Im always so too damn nauseated to enjoy it. I just reach for whatever grease laden burger, chicken, whatever I can stomach.

I don't wanna go back. I want to retake control of my health. I miss the gym. Ive tried but I was always too sacked and or nauseated. I NEED to go back. I want to have normal blood work, normal weight. I want to apply for that new position that just opened up, I want to eat a good meal without wanting to vomit it all up after.

Im so over it. Im burning this bridge now , hoping for the best and I just pray I didn't wreck my body beyond repair. Thanks for reading. I been lurking the past few days and you guys are amazingly supportive, so I know Im in good company

see you again!
KremlinDusk is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 12:51 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 132
Hi and welcome.
I'm new here too. I'm on day twenty something. I leave it up to my app to keep track of that. Congrats on day 5. I've found reading and posting here and listening to recovery podcasts have kept me on track and motivated. You're doing great.
Bathbomb is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 01:20 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
KremlinDusk's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 28
Thanks! hope to see ya stick around. What WD symptoms if any have you experienced?
KremlinDusk is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 01:38 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,048
welcome to SR KremlinDusk

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 02:00 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: New York, New York
Posts: 594
Your story resonates with me. Started @ 32, Always vodka, how you’ve progressed or regressed to all day, every day, drinking in the car. I’ve had 4 real attempts @ sobriety over the last 14 years. 11 months sober, tried to moderate, 8 months, tried to moderate, 7 months, tried to . . . you get the picture. Now 9 months sober & am committed to never, EVER, drink again. The key for me is EXERCISE. Daily exercise. Start slow. Even 10 minutes of walking. Each day it will get easier & you increase the intensity, either by increasing the duration or the speed. The key is the program must be SUSTAINABLE. Otherwise, you won’t be CONSISTENT. I guarantee you will be running 2 miles straight within 3 months. Add strength training with weights when you feel ready. Start slow like with the walking. One good set per exercise. Start with 2 exercises & gradually add exercises. And DON’T DRINK. Good luck on your journey.
Tailai is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 04:51 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 132
Originally Posted by KremlinDusk View Post
Thanks! hope to see ya stick around. What WD symptoms if any have you experienced?
I don't want to freak you out as this was just my experience but I felt awful for the first 11 days. My body ached especially my back, then my joints hurt and then I had 2 days of sharp headaches. I was lucky in a way as I was able to just take it easy and be kind to myself till I felt better. I took a lot of baths. They didn't help but it was a good excuse to be by myself. I wasn't fun to be around. On day 12 I woke up feeling human again. It was kind of like the flu now that I think about it oh and night sweats, they're a real treat. I was also flooded with different emotions. Mostly shame and anger all aimed at myself. The first couple of weeks were difficult and did feel never ending but hang in there. I hope you're doing okay. Just be kind to yourself. I guess our bodies have a lot of healing to do. Keep strong. Drink water. We can do this.
Bathbomb is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 05:08 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 67
Welcome kremlindusk, you sound very ready to leave the booze behind. Best decision I ever made. It takes a little patience in the beginning, I remember wanting to see big changes and feeling a little disappointed that I didn’t feel great immediately after quitting drinking. Be good to yourself and all the little healthy choices you make will start adding up. It took a little time but I feel so much healthier and never regretted quitting for even a millisecond.
OneDayOneHour is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 05:59 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Welcome! so glad you are here with us.
August252015 is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 06:11 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 574
Hi KD!
Glad you are here. I am on Day 5, CONGRATS on Day 5! ...WDs I've found to be different for everyone - mild, moderate, to severe.
It sounds like abstinence is your only choice as your health is declining dramatically. Like mentioned, start slow with stretching and taking walks. Commitment & Consistence. For me, I'm trying to also clean up my diet, take multivitamins, and increase water intake. Most important, dont pick up ONE drink and keep us posted on how your doing!

KTB5000 is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 06:47 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
DriGuy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,111
You're on the right track, I think. It sounds like a big life change is in order, and sobriety is what you need.
DriGuy is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 08:27 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,416
It's so good to meet you, KremlinDusk. This is a wonderful place for understanding & encouragement. I was able to quit a 30 yr. drinking habit thanks to the support I found here. It feels wonderful to be free of it.

I was drinking during work hours too, towards the end. That was something I vowed I'd never do - along with driving. We drink to help with anxiety & stress - then we find out it makes everything so much worse.

Congrats on your 5 days sober. You're going to do this.
Hevyn is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 08:34 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,673
Welcome to the family. You'll find lots of support here.
least is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 11:43 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
. Welcome! They told me to post here every day. I did. It helps. On day 32 now. It's hard sometimes. But also amazing. I got to AA. If that's not your jam then there's also refuge recovery and other ones that are secular based. I realize I'm an isolating alcoholic and I need people.

You got this.

Press
Pressmetilihurt is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 11:01 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
KremlinDusk's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 28
Thank you all for the warm welcome! The cravings were a little worse today. I still had a half bottle in the back of my car and AV was telling me too take just a couple sips because I was doing great and can control myself now. UH no, nice try, bish.

Instead of drinking on my lunch I read this forum and your responses, your support and encouragement, and that really helped pull me back Cant wait to go back to the gym. I agree with those who mentioned it:: exercise and health will definitely be key to long term motivator for sobriety!

Originally Posted by Bathbomb View Post
I don't want to freak you out as this was just my experience but I felt awful for the first 11 days. My body ached especially my back, then my joints hurt and then I had 2 days of sharp headaches. I was lucky in a way as I was able to just take it easy and be kind to myself till I felt better. I took a lot of baths. They didn't help but it was a good excuse to be by myself. I wasn't fun to be around. On day 12 I woke up feeling human again. It was kind of like the flu now that I think about it oh and night sweats, they're a real treat. I was also flooded with different emotions. Mostly shame and anger all aimed at myself. The first couple of weeks were difficult and did feel never ending but hang in there. I hope you're doing okay. Just be kind to yourself. I guess our bodies have a lot of healing to do. Keep strong. Drink water. We can do this.
oh wow I been have the same muscle tension issues! I also feel fluish after waking up too Glad you're feeling better. Totally agree our bodies need time to heal after the years of poisoning we did to it. We're ARE gonna weather this storm though!
KremlinDusk is offline  
Old 05-02-2019, 11:45 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 7
Congratulations!!! I used this forum for probably the first year I was sober and it was a life saver at times. When the insomnia kicked in for me I hung out here at 2 and 3 in the morning. Thankfully we have members all over the world so it seemed that someone was always up for a chat. Take good care of you and just don't drink 5 minutes at a time.
Athyrium is offline  
Old 05-03-2019, 06:26 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 574
How are you doing today KD?
KTB5000 is offline  
Old 05-03-2019, 08:44 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Giving up is NOT an option.
 
MLD51's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,792
Welcome! You're in the right place. Lots of support here. Take it easy on yourself for a bit. I tried to do too much in early days of sobriety and I'd find myself completely exhausted and a puddle of tears pretty easily. Lots of difficult emotions and physical ickiness at the beginning. I had to get extra rest, eat small healthy meals, drink a lot of water. I still do that over 4 years later, because it's a great way to live, actually! Exercise can really help too, just listen to your body and don't push it too fast.
MLD51 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:00 AM.