Is it obvious he is a drug addict and on what drug?
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 16
Is it obvious he is a drug addict and on what drug?
1. Guzzles down 10 norcos and doesn’t work for him. 2. Comes up with stories of him getting robbed all the time yet nothing is missing.
3. Disappears for a few hours.
4. Constantly breaking up with me and coming back.
5. Wanting to hustle on the side.
6. Every car he’s had has been impounded.
7. Commits crimes like it’s a hobby.
8. Freaks out if he doesn’t have marijuana.
9. He’s in the hood (the ghetto) everyday trying to get marijuana.
10. His best friend was or is a coke dealer.
11. Majority of his friends are either on drugs or sell it.
12. He is bipolar/schizophrenic but his mood swings are excessive and extreme.
13. Aggressive
14. Name calling and random outbursts.
15. Hypochondriac
16. Shakes, charters teeth and cries that he’s in pain.
17. Complaints of bone and muscle pain for the past few years.
18. Front teeth are deteriated.
19. He’s 38 but looks 55.
20. Is an alcoholic
21. Steals
22. Wrinkles around his mouth and nose.
23. Anger issues
24. Really nice and loving when you give him money.
25. Goes crazy if something doesn’t go his way.
26. Always in debt
So much others but can’t think of them right now.
3. Disappears for a few hours.
4. Constantly breaking up with me and coming back.
5. Wanting to hustle on the side.
6. Every car he’s had has been impounded.
7. Commits crimes like it’s a hobby.
8. Freaks out if he doesn’t have marijuana.
9. He’s in the hood (the ghetto) everyday trying to get marijuana.
10. His best friend was or is a coke dealer.
11. Majority of his friends are either on drugs or sell it.
12. He is bipolar/schizophrenic but his mood swings are excessive and extreme.
13. Aggressive
14. Name calling and random outbursts.
15. Hypochondriac
16. Shakes, charters teeth and cries that he’s in pain.
17. Complaints of bone and muscle pain for the past few years.
18. Front teeth are deteriated.
19. He’s 38 but looks 55.
20. Is an alcoholic
21. Steals
22. Wrinkles around his mouth and nose.
23. Anger issues
24. Really nice and loving when you give him money.
25. Goes crazy if something doesn’t go his way.
26. Always in debt
So much others but can’t think of them right now.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by Susulaila89 
Jiggs, how old is your son?
Last edited by Jiggs; 04-30-2019 at 06:05 PM. Reason: Adding info
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
I think many of us start with this question (among others). Is it drugs or mental illness? If it's drugs, which one? If it is mental illness, which one? What can I do to make them stop, will they stop, if they don't stop, what will happen? On and on...
It can be exhausting - but I think this is part of the grieving process when any of us begin to realize that we may be dealing with something bigger than us. And especially as we begin to face both the hope and the danger in the situation - four ourselves and the addict.
Maybe you have heard of the grieving steps - denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance. They don't necessarily come in that order or that neatly. And they often repeat in some cycles as one works through difficult situations that involve loss. But part of the challenge of working through all this is becoming aware of the grief process so we can come to grips with what it all means for us and our lives.
And those stages of grief are natural, normal and take as long as they take. The only thing I can offer here is to maybe keep track of the questions you are asking and what is beneath them. For me, questions were my trying to make sense of something that didn't make sense and to try to get some control over something I couldn't control.
So please ask all the questions that come up. We've all asked some, most or all of them. It is part of the process.
In terms of what drug - even if you knew for certain what the answer was - how would it help you? Are there other questions you could ask yourself that might lead to more health, freedom and sanity? (for you and your loved one who is struggling)
Prayers for you during this hard time!
It can be exhausting - but I think this is part of the grieving process when any of us begin to realize that we may be dealing with something bigger than us. And especially as we begin to face both the hope and the danger in the situation - four ourselves and the addict.
Maybe you have heard of the grieving steps - denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance. They don't necessarily come in that order or that neatly. And they often repeat in some cycles as one works through difficult situations that involve loss. But part of the challenge of working through all this is becoming aware of the grief process so we can come to grips with what it all means for us and our lives.
And those stages of grief are natural, normal and take as long as they take. The only thing I can offer here is to maybe keep track of the questions you are asking and what is beneath them. For me, questions were my trying to make sense of something that didn't make sense and to try to get some control over something I couldn't control.
So please ask all the questions that come up. We've all asked some, most or all of them. It is part of the process.
In terms of what drug - even if you knew for certain what the answer was - how would it help you? Are there other questions you could ask yourself that might lead to more health, freedom and sanity? (for you and your loved one who is struggling)
Prayers for you during this hard time!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 16
Troubledone, the reason why I wanted to know what drug he may be on is because I don't want to leave any details out. I believe that every little thing that I can find out will help me a lot. Kind of like how on first 48 or those serial killer shows where someone's daughter, husband, wife...etc was murdered and they want to know how they were murdered? Well, even if they knew how, it wouldn't bring that person back and murder is murder.
Whether they were shot, poisoned, stabbed, beat to death, it's murder at the end of the day but knowing how their loved one died will somehow put them at ease. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. That was a pretty extreme example lol.
In this case, the drugs are the death of them. I want to know what this drug is, what it does, how much it is, how it's sold, who sold it to them, why...etc. I can't explain my reason any better than I have. For some reason, it just makes me feel better to know.
Whether they were shot, poisoned, stabbed, beat to death, it's murder at the end of the day but knowing how their loved one died will somehow put them at ease. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. That was a pretty extreme example lol.
In this case, the drugs are the death of them. I want to know what this drug is, what it does, how much it is, how it's sold, who sold it to them, why...etc. I can't explain my reason any better than I have. For some reason, it just makes me feel better to know.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
I think educating yourself about the "enemy" is helpful. (ie. drugs)
I think we all get more education about drugs (and treatment and the legal system) than we ever wanted when we are faced with this type of thing.
I hope you find the answers that will help you figure out what you want or need to do for him and for yourself.
It is quite a maze to navigate!
Praying you find the answers that will help you!
I think we all get more education about drugs (and treatment and the legal system) than we ever wanted when we are faced with this type of thing.
I hope you find the answers that will help you figure out what you want or need to do for him and for yourself.
It is quite a maze to navigate!
Praying you find the answers that will help you!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I understand that need to know - BUT.
That is pretty much the definition of Codendency. Worrying, being a detective, not taking care of your own needs, trying to find all the Whys.
Doesn't matter. Run. Don't look back. You'll never get the answers and the answers don't matter.
That is pretty much the definition of Codendency. Worrying, being a detective, not taking care of your own needs, trying to find all the Whys.
Doesn't matter. Run. Don't look back. You'll never get the answers and the answers don't matter.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Maybe you could ask yourself what is really behind that need to know the details.
For me, the more information I had, the more I could buy into the illusion that I Could DO Something. In other words, if I knew what I was dealing with, I could find a way to control it.
I learned the very hard way that there's no controlling it, even if you know everything. There's no magic formula. Other people get to live their lives they way they want to, whether I like it or not. And in the process of trying to fix someone else, I totally lost myself.
When I realized I was the only person I could ever count on to put my needs first the way I was so desperate to put everyone else's first (to their detriment and mine), things began to change.
For me, the more information I had, the more I could buy into the illusion that I Could DO Something. In other words, if I knew what I was dealing with, I could find a way to control it.
I learned the very hard way that there's no controlling it, even if you know everything. There's no magic formula. Other people get to live their lives they way they want to, whether I like it or not. And in the process of trying to fix someone else, I totally lost myself.
When I realized I was the only person I could ever count on to put my needs first the way I was so desperate to put everyone else's first (to their detriment and mine), things began to change.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Does it matter whether or not he is an addict? Is his behavior alright with you? If he weren't an addict would the behavior be alright? If he is an addict, is the behavior then alright? If you don't like the behavior, can you change it? You can change your behavior.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,614
Hey Susulaila89, as Sparklekitty said, if you are hoping to help him by narrowing down his drug choices that is a waste of your time really.
No one here (or probably anywhere) can answer your question, except him, if he can even remember what he's using. Short of a blood test, which isn't going to happen.
So, if you want to know what the result of being in a relationship with an addict is, you are in the right place. Read around all that you can.
You might want to start with these threads:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)
The articles here are also helpful:
Addiction, Lies and Relationships
Have you read about trauma bonding at all? It is being mentioned in this thread right now:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...t-go-back.html (I try to forgive myself, but it’s so hard. I need to stand firm and not go back!)
No one here (or probably anywhere) can answer your question, except him, if he can even remember what he's using. Short of a blood test, which isn't going to happen.
So, if you want to know what the result of being in a relationship with an addict is, you are in the right place. Read around all that you can.
You might want to start with these threads:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)
The articles here are also helpful:
Addiction, Lies and Relationships
Have you read about trauma bonding at all? It is being mentioned in this thread right now:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...t-go-back.html (I try to forgive myself, but it’s so hard. I need to stand firm and not go back!)
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I want to know what this drug is, what it does, how much it is, how it's sold, who sold it to them, why
ok, let's try this.
what drug it is. from what you said, he has a friend who deals coke, and other friends who also deal drugs. my bet is either coke or meth.
what it does. you are SEEING what the drugs DO. refer to your list. that is drug addict BEHAVIOR.
how much is it. depends on who you are getting it from and what you are willing to do in trade. coke used to be around $25 a 1/4 gram. crack (cokes evil spawn) about $20 for a rock about the size of a large pea. meth, no idea, but cheap i think.
how it's sold. refer to friends who deal, or dealer we call friends. drug addicts have a special radar - you can plunk them in any city and within 10 minutes they've sniffed out the dope man.
why? drugs get you high. drugs get you addicted. supply and demand.
there. does the above change anything for you?
ok, let's try this.
what drug it is. from what you said, he has a friend who deals coke, and other friends who also deal drugs. my bet is either coke or meth.
what it does. you are SEEING what the drugs DO. refer to your list. that is drug addict BEHAVIOR.
how much is it. depends on who you are getting it from and what you are willing to do in trade. coke used to be around $25 a 1/4 gram. crack (cokes evil spawn) about $20 for a rock about the size of a large pea. meth, no idea, but cheap i think.
how it's sold. refer to friends who deal, or dealer we call friends. drug addicts have a special radar - you can plunk them in any city and within 10 minutes they've sniffed out the dope man.
why? drugs get you high. drugs get you addicted. supply and demand.
there. does the above change anything for you?
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