Please let this be it!!!
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Please let this be it!!!
Day 1. On New Year’s Eve I quit and I was doing great for almost 3 months. But feeling really happy One day and letting my guard down lead to the end of that. I’m really looking to turn things around now. I need stability above all else And I just can’t get that while I am drinking. It’s time to reverse the damage thats been done and stop adding to it. I want my actions to start leading me to my goals. I’m tired of working against myself. I’m tired of singing the same old song. I don’t think anyone takes me seriously anymore when I say I wanna quit drinking. But I can’t give up. I’ve got to try my damnest to stay sober this time. I don’t know how I’ll be able to break down all of these bad habits and finally start living the life I was meant to live. But I’ve got to try!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome back LLG 
I dunno about you but I got to a point where it wasn't enough to simply want recovery, I had to act for it too.
That meant that every time I noticed my motivation or diligence waning, or I had the great idea of drinking again, I had to have a plan in place to get back on the right track - and I had to find the will to work that plan.
I had to accept there are no nights off from recovery - but if you stick to it, and you build a sober life you love it's not a chore either....its the way you prefer to be
D
I dunno about you but I got to a point where it wasn't enough to simply want recovery, I had to act for it too.
That meant that every time I noticed my motivation or diligence waning, or I had the great idea of drinking again, I had to have a plan in place to get back on the right track - and I had to find the will to work that plan.
I had to accept there are no nights off from recovery - but if you stick to it, and you build a sober life you love it's not a chore either....its the way you prefer to be
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
Originally Posted by LiveLikeGold6 
Day 1. On New Year’s Eve I quit and I was doing great for almost 3 months. But feeling really happy One day and letting my guard down lead to the end of that. I’m really looking to turn things around now. I need stability above all else And I just can’t get that while I am drinking. It’s time to reverse the damage thats been done and stop adding to it. I want my actions to start leading me to my goals. I’m tired of working against myself. I’m tired of singing the same old song. I don’t think anyone takes me seriously anymore when I say I wanna quit drinking. But I can’t give up. I’ve got to try my damnest to stay sober this time. I don’t know how I’ll be able to break down all of these bad habits and finally start living the life I was meant to live. But I’ve got to try!
Emotions are the primary drivers of human behavior.
What worked for me was to, "Reverse Engineer," my addiction. What was I feeling right before I took that drink or ingested that drug? It turns out I was always feeling emotionally overwhelmed, helpless or trapped to some specific circumstance that was important to me! I use to escape the helplessness trap with my quick fix or mood changer of booze or drugs, but now I have learned to empower myself with more direct healthy behavior that is of high value to me. This might sound like magic but it's not. I'm simply regaining control over my feelings in a healthy manner. What I was really seeking was a sense of control. What I really wanted was not a drink, a drug, porn or a bet, but a sense of empowerment, especially in the face of feeling overwhelmed, helpless, trapped and powerless.
Change your thinking and change your life. Romans 12:2
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
Originally Posted by CRRHCC
You can do it!
Emotions are the primary drivers of human behavior.
What worked for me was to, "Reverse Engineer," my addiction. What was I feeling right before I took that drink or ingested that drug? It turns out I was always feeling emotionally overwhelmed, helpless or trapped to some specific circumstance that was important to me! I use to escape the helplessness trap with my quick fix or mood changer of booze or drugs, but now I have learned to empower myself with more direct healthy behavior that is of high value to me. This might sound like magic but it's not. I'm simply regaining control over my feelings in a healthy manner. What I was really seeking was a sense of control. What I really wanted was not a drink, a drug, porn or a bet, but a sense of empowerment, especially in the face of feeling overwhelmed, helpless, trapped and powerless.
Change your thinking and change your life. Romans 12:2
Emotions are the primary drivers of human behavior.
What worked for me was to, "Reverse Engineer," my addiction. What was I feeling right before I took that drink or ingested that drug? It turns out I was always feeling emotionally overwhelmed, helpless or trapped to some specific circumstance that was important to me! I use to escape the helplessness trap with my quick fix or mood changer of booze or drugs, but now I have learned to empower myself with more direct healthy behavior that is of high value to me. This might sound like magic but it's not. I'm simply regaining control over my feelings in a healthy manner. What I was really seeking was a sense of control. What I really wanted was not a drink, a drug, porn or a bet, but a sense of empowerment, especially in the face of feeling overwhelmed, helpless, trapped and powerless.
Change your thinking and change your life. Romans 12:2
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Its so true. I’m a total party drinker. My alcohol=my social life. So for me i feel my biggest challenge will be learning to build a social life free from alcohol. That will mean trying different activities with different people. I struggle with AA because im uncomfortable in groups but i always get something good out of them so i feel its best to do aa if not trying a different recovery group as well. I want to journal and meditate and pray and work on my spiritual connection as well. I need to accept that I can’t drink in a healthy way and that means i cant drink period. The only way for me to live like gold is to be sober!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
Originally Posted by LiveLikeGold6
Its so true. I’m a total party drinker. My alcohol=my social life. So for me i feel my biggest challenge will be learning to build a social life free from alcohol. That will mean trying different activities with different people. I struggle with AA because im uncomfortable in groups but i always get something good out of them so i feel its best to do aa if not trying a different recovery group as well. I want to journal and meditate and pray and work on my spiritual connection as well. I need to accept that I can’t drink in a healthy way and that means i cant drink period. The only way for me to live like gold is to be sober!!
The only thing I can compare it to, is jumping out of an airplane! It's a rush followed by peace. Philippians 4:6-7
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Originally Posted by january161992
ive been to >7k meetings and feel the same way
And thank you everyone for the support!!!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you are here and particularly at first - I sat at the back near the door in meetings. Always an escape route. I also often came in after all the intro readings, and left before the Serenity Prayer (I'm such an alcoholic that it pissed me off for awhile!). As said above, it's your sobriety...I grew past that habit 
Early on - just being sober each day is more than enough. The "loftier" stuff etc on why/how/what to do NOW (I'd emphasize that we have to let go of why we drank, but that's just my program) can wait, if you will, as you get one day sober, each as it comes.
You have lots of people who get it around here.
Early on - just being sober each day is more than enough. The "loftier" stuff etc on why/how/what to do NOW (I'd emphasize that we have to let go of why we drank, but that's just my program) can wait, if you will, as you get one day sober, each as it comes.
You have lots of people who get it around here.
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