Hate myself
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
Hollydoll,
I know from experience that relapses are horrible, you feel defeated, guilty, worthless, stupid and just about every other negative thing there is. The truth is, you are none of those things, it is the disease trying to keep its hold on you.
The important thing is to never quit trying, never give up and never give into the disease. tomorrow is a new day, I think Thursdays are a great day to start over!
Hugs, Cathy
I know from experience that relapses are horrible, you feel defeated, guilty, worthless, stupid and just about every other negative thing there is. The truth is, you are none of those things, it is the disease trying to keep its hold on you.
The important thing is to never quit trying, never give up and never give into the disease. tomorrow is a new day, I think Thursdays are a great day to start over!
Hugs, Cathy
You are not ********, you are addicted. 
Start again tomorrow and make it stick this time. Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,447
Please do not listen to abusive words like that from your mother, or from anyone.
You made a mistake and now you are back. You had 23 sober days and you can do it again. You can make a plan to protect yourself from having this happen again. Be kind to yourself, Holly.
You made a mistake and now you are back. You had 23 sober days and you can do it again. You can make a plan to protect yourself from having this happen again. Be kind to yourself, Holly.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
Please remember...when we are actively drinking the light at the end of the tunnel looks so far away. You can stop now and begin the journey again, it all starts when you stop the insanity of the drink.
It won't be easy at first, as you know. But you have to go through the dark side to get to the light. How about you begin right now!! We are here for you, every step of the way
It won't be easy at first, as you know. But you have to go through the dark side to get to the light. How about you begin right now!! We are here for you, every step of the way
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,229
I had to learn....and I mean, I had to sit in
class with those capable and knowledgeable
about addiction and the affects it has on me
and others, and be taught about how I, we,
us are not bad people. Only sick ones.
Once I realized that I wasn't dumb, stupid,
less than and many other not so good choice
words, only sick with my addiction to
alcohol, then, I perked up, became interested
in listening, learning why I was so sick and
how in the heck can I put this addiction to
rest once and for all, one day at a time
incorporating some sort of guideline, program
on a daily bases each day I remained sober.
With Willingness and an openmind along
with honesty then I became teachable to
apply what they were teaching me so that
I could heal, grow, and become a healthier,
happier person I always wanted and needed
to be.
I had to put down the alcohol for good
with no reservation that one day I would
be able to drink normally or successfully
like those that are not alcoholics.
Once I admitted and accepted that fact
to myself then I was able to let go of it
and my journey in life as a sober person
began.
That journey for me began 28 yrs ago
in Aug. 1990 which is a whole lotta one
days sober added together incorporating
a program of recovery in all areas of my
life on a daily bases continuously to become
successful in my own recovery life.
As you begin your own journey you will
begin to see how many others have also
become successful just as you will be too.
class with those capable and knowledgeable
about addiction and the affects it has on me
and others, and be taught about how I, we,
us are not bad people. Only sick ones.
Once I realized that I wasn't dumb, stupid,
less than and many other not so good choice
words, only sick with my addiction to
alcohol, then, I perked up, became interested
in listening, learning why I was so sick and
how in the heck can I put this addiction to
rest once and for all, one day at a time
incorporating some sort of guideline, program
on a daily bases each day I remained sober.
With Willingness and an openmind along
with honesty then I became teachable to
apply what they were teaching me so that
I could heal, grow, and become a healthier,
happier person I always wanted and needed
to be.
I had to put down the alcohol for good
with no reservation that one day I would
be able to drink normally or successfully
like those that are not alcoholics.
Once I admitted and accepted that fact
to myself then I was able to let go of it
and my journey in life as a sober person
began.
That journey for me began 28 yrs ago
in Aug. 1990 which is a whole lotta one
days sober added together incorporating
a program of recovery in all areas of my
life on a daily bases continuously to become
successful in my own recovery life.
As you begin your own journey you will
begin to see how many others have also
become successful just as you will be too.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 2,428
Please don't call yourself unkind names, you are none of those things. You and I are addicted to alcohol. It tells us anything and everything to get us to drink it again.
Fresh clean start for you tomorrow.
All the best.
Fresh clean start for you tomorrow.
All the best.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
We drink. We don't do emotions well. We are fearful and we don't want to give up our security blanket (the drink).
Don't beat yourself up, somehow you have to know deep in your soul that drinking only leads to bad places for YOU. Once you know this, then surrender to win.
Once you stop fighting that fact that you can't drink safely, you know you suffer from alcoholism and you need a new solution.
I found it through the 12 steps, but you can find it where you need to!
Get a solution and try it so you can stay stopped, too!
Don't beat yourself up, somehow you have to know deep in your soul that drinking only leads to bad places for YOU. Once you know this, then surrender to win.
Once you stop fighting that fact that you can't drink safely, you know you suffer from alcoholism and you need a new solution.
I found it through the 12 steps, but you can find it where you need to!
Get a solution and try it so you can stay stopped, too!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,319
Hi Hollydoll - use that energy you're currently using to beat yourself up to make up a new recovery action plan instead.
I posted the link in your last thread but here it is again - do yourself a favour and read it (again if needs be) & apply it
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
Strive for a day one, make changes in your life to reflect your desire to be sober, and find the right support to help you maintain your changes.
You can do this
D
I posted the link in your last thread but here it is again - do yourself a favour and read it (again if needs be) & apply it
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
Strive for a day one, make changes in your life to reflect your desire to be sober, and find the right support to help you maintain your changes.
You can do this
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,962
Please dont be mean to yourself like that! I remember your other post and I don’t think I had a chance to respond. I’m sorry that your mom treats you that way. It’s unacceptable.
Please be compassionate toward yourself. You are just as valuable and worthy as everyone else on the planet. Making a mistake is just being human. Forgive yourself, learn from it and move forward. We are all here to support you.
Is there anything you can do to get out of that situation with your mom, even if just partially? What other support resources do you have in your area for both addiction and the mental health issues you have that affect your life and ability to function? There have to be community support resources?
Please be compassionate toward yourself. You are just as valuable and worthy as everyone else on the planet. Making a mistake is just being human. Forgive yourself, learn from it and move forward. We are all here to support you.
Is there anything you can do to get out of that situation with your mom, even if just partially? What other support resources do you have in your area for both addiction and the mental health issues you have that affect your life and ability to function? There have to be community support resources?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,508
Hi Hollydoll - I'm sorry for what you're going through.
I knew what I had to do, but it took me a few tries to get it right. It's like we're still testing ourselves. We know we have to let go of it, but sometimes we need further proof. It does nothing for us - only brings misery. Let's give it another try. You can do it!
I knew what I had to do, but it took me a few tries to get it right. It's like we're still testing ourselves. We know we have to let go of it, but sometimes we need further proof. It does nothing for us - only brings misery. Let's give it another try. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,899
I must be ******** as my mum said.
Sorry, but this bothers me a lot.
No child should have to put up with this behavior from a parent.
(I have much more I could say on this matter, but it's not appropriate in this forum).
Sorry, but this bothers me a lot.
No child should have to put up with this behavior from a parent.
(I have much more I could say on this matter, but it's not appropriate in this forum).
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Some really lovely responses here that im learning from. Op, im right there with back at day 1 for the millionth time. But minute by minute it feels more doable. I hate being vulnerable but i rather choose to bear my need for help then continue down the path of poisoning myself for a few moments of release followed by days of regret and a sense of impending doom.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Hi Holly i have felt the way you do many times, it never helped, we need to hate our addiction and alcohol. Be kind to yourself, this is a hard battle but one we can win, start over and we can get through this and have the lives we want and deserve.
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