I need to come back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
I need to come back
I've let things slide, I lost sight of my sobriety, so I'm back and need to get myself on track again, a few things have been going on in my life, which is not a way of excusing myself, nor a valid reason. I have no one to blame apart from myself. I think I need to be totally honest and take my sobriety serious again, I got complacent, I lost sight of the reasons why I needed to stop drinking.
I think since Christmas I've picked up a drink on 3 separate occasions, but not carried on as in a bender. Just those specific evenings. I can stop drinking, that's the easy part, staying off it is the hard part.
I'm not going to bang on about how sad/angry / disappointed I am. There really is no point. I can't change it. I know I need to fill my time with other stuff, I know I need up my game. I thought it was all going ok, but here I am. I've got to keep my head focused again.
Here we go again on day 1
Doris x
I think since Christmas I've picked up a drink on 3 separate occasions, but not carried on as in a bender. Just those specific evenings. I can stop drinking, that's the easy part, staying off it is the hard part.
I'm not going to bang on about how sad/angry / disappointed I am. There really is no point. I can't change it. I know I need to fill my time with other stuff, I know I need up my game. I thought it was all going ok, but here I am. I've got to keep my head focused again.
Here we go again on day 1
Doris x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 295
It's very difficult to deal with when you're sure you're done drinking and then seemingly out of nowhere you slip.....I've been there literally hundreds of times.
This is why it helps to follow a program or come to an online support group regularly, even after you sober up. Continue doing the things that helped you get sober even if you feel like you won't drink again. Alcoholic urges are like snakes in the grass. You don't see them coming before they attack.
Good job coming to a board to talk about it and trying again instead of giving up on yourself
This is why it helps to follow a program or come to an online support group regularly, even after you sober up. Continue doing the things that helped you get sober even if you feel like you won't drink again. Alcoholic urges are like snakes in the grass. You don't see them coming before they attack.
Good job coming to a board to talk about it and trying again instead of giving up on yourself
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Welcome back Doris, you've taken the right steps to get back on track. I've been where you are so many times, this time I've been back for 12 months and I'm staying here. Complacency was my downfall and I refuse to let it happen again. You know what to do so get doing it, we're all here for you. Xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
I can stop drinking, that's the easy part, staying off it is the hard part.
You might want to reframe this. Basically, you can abstain temporarily but can't stop drinking. I know how easy it can seem to rationalize these "slips," but in reality all you're doing is fueling your AV by thinking you still have some power over alcohol. Continuing to drink when you don't want to is what we do as addicts - so what is your plan to get sober and stay that way?
You might want to reframe this. Basically, you can abstain temporarily but can't stop drinking. I know how easy it can seem to rationalize these "slips," but in reality all you're doing is fueling your AV by thinking you still have some power over alcohol. Continuing to drink when you don't want to is what we do as addicts - so what is your plan to get sober and stay that way?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
Originally Posted by PalmerSage 
I can stop drinking, that's the easy part, staying off it is the hard part.
You might want to reframe this. Basically, you can abstain temporarily but can't stop drinking. I know how easy it can seem to rationalize these "slips," but in reality all you're doing is fueling your AV by thinking you still have some power over alcohol. Continuing to drink when you don't want to is what we do as addicts - so what is your plan to get sober and stay that way?
You might want to reframe this. Basically, you can abstain temporarily but can't stop drinking. I know how easy it can seem to rationalize these "slips," but in reality all you're doing is fueling your AV by thinking you still have some power over alcohol. Continuing to drink when you don't want to is what we do as addicts - so what is your plan to get sober and stay that way?
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Doris,
Your post helped me today.
I am not going to slip or relapse, but I still hurt sometimes.
I know what works to stay clean and obviously so do you.
I have tried and true methods..e.g. reading and posting here, projects, shows, fitness, eating etc that get me through the crave times.
I am so proud to be a non drinker.
Don't look at your relapse or whatever as failure. Count your clean time as success. Your mind and body are better for it.
Thanks.
Your post helped me today.
I am not going to slip or relapse, but I still hurt sometimes.
I know what works to stay clean and obviously so do you.
I have tried and true methods..e.g. reading and posting here, projects, shows, fitness, eating etc that get me through the crave times.
I am so proud to be a non drinker.
Don't look at your relapse or whatever as failure. Count your clean time as success. Your mind and body are better for it.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by Doris47
I'm aware I didn't slip, I picked up a drink . I'm taking full responsibility for it. My plan at this moment in time is to not drink. I will continue to keep trying, that's all I can do ultimately it's down to me. I will keep pushing forward. I have a few issues I'm dealing with,which will help my greatly. I have things in place
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
[QUOTE=D122y;7164639]Doris,
Your post helped me today.
I am not going to slip or relapse, but I still hurt sometimes.
I know what works to stay clean and obviously so do you.
I have tried and true methods..e.g. reading and posting here, projects, shows, fitness, eating etc that get me through the crave times.
I am so proud to be a non drinker.
Don't look at your relapse or whatever as failure. Count your clean time as success. Your mind and body are better for it.
Thank you so much for this, I took my eye off the game for sure 😊 I need to step up again. Which I will, I have no doubt about that, we stumble an we fall, but you just gotta get up again x
Your post helped me today.
I am not going to slip or relapse, but I still hurt sometimes.
I know what works to stay clean and obviously so do you.
I have tried and true methods..e.g. reading and posting here, projects, shows, fitness, eating etc that get me through the crave times.
I am so proud to be a non drinker.
Don't look at your relapse or whatever as failure. Count your clean time as success. Your mind and body are better for it.
Thank you so much for this, I took my eye off the game for sure 😊 I need to step up again. Which I will, I have no doubt about that, we stumble an we fall, but you just gotta get up again x
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,519
Doris - I did this a couple times, & it's led to me being sober for 11 yrs. For some of us, picking up again is a valuable learning experience. Some get it right the first time, but we're all different. It sounds like you are now ready for your sober life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
Originally Posted by Hevyn
Doris - I did this a couple times, & it's led to me being sober for 11 yrs. For some of us, picking up again is a valuable learning experience. Some get it right the first time, but we're all different. It sounds like you are now ready for your sober life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
It’s an effing monster.
Too big to mess around with.
I did it too and let it take too much.
Good job this place is here to confirm such things.
321 you’re back in the room
Sounded a bit like Ted Rodgers then.
Too big to mess around with.
I did it too and let it take too much.
Good job this place is here to confirm such things.
321 you’re back in the room
Sounded a bit like Ted Rodgers then.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 424
Glad your back. Think about what you can do differently this time. I’ve heard people talk about having a plan—I never understood that until I was serious about quitting. Make a plan. And post often, we are here for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,963
Glad you are back, Doris, and before you have let it go to full relapse. I did that so many times and just gave up on myself before finally getting sober. I hope you will stick around here even when you feel sober strong. This is one way of guarding against complacency. Plus you inspire others!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
complacency is the enemy of recovery. because the beast NEVER sleeps, never takes a day off. having a recovery PLAN does a couple things.....one, obvious, it gives us a direction, a path, and the tools necessary for the journey. second, by having a plan, committing to it - whatever that might look like - we have, on a daily basis, the opportunity to recommit.
recovery is a new habit, and new habits take time to fully develop. imagine if you made the decision that from now on you planned to brush your teeth with the OTHER hand, the hand you have NOT used all your life. nobody has to stand there and read the instructions to be able to brush their teeth. it is ingrained and done without much conscious thought.
but if we now want to CHANGE that routine, move the brush to the opposite hand, it will take immense amounts of thought and focus. it is highly likely that at 6:30am, getting ready for work, you will still start using the "wrong" hand and have to stop, think, and switch hands. you might NEED to post instructions, so you can easily review your new plan.............
recovery takes time. and commitment.
recovery is a new habit, and new habits take time to fully develop. imagine if you made the decision that from now on you planned to brush your teeth with the OTHER hand, the hand you have NOT used all your life. nobody has to stand there and read the instructions to be able to brush their teeth. it is ingrained and done without much conscious thought.
but if we now want to CHANGE that routine, move the brush to the opposite hand, it will take immense amounts of thought and focus. it is highly likely that at 6:30am, getting ready for work, you will still start using the "wrong" hand and have to stop, think, and switch hands. you might NEED to post instructions, so you can easily review your new plan.............
recovery takes time. and commitment.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
You know, I'm so glad I've come back. It's been a tough few months in my personal life as well. I get so down sometimes ( another beast that I'm fighting ) I try so hard to be everything to everyone else. I know now I need to be here for myself. I have got things in place, things which will help in all aspects in my life. Even though I know I've picked up a drink, I've had addiction for 25-30 years. I'm just thankful that I didn't go full steam xx
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
