Hopeworks

Seren

It's a horrifying story...and I remember when I was at a point in my life when I found I had a very dark sense of humor when it came to my alcoholic stepson. I'm really happy I'm not in that place any more.

DriGuy

I understand he emotions, but the actions not so much. Would it be safe to say this is a dysfunctional family? Duh?!

theuncertainty

I understand that she broke the law. She. ran. someone. over. But I think it's a fair picture of what a loved one's alcoholism does to a family.

I don't know what their family dynamics are. I don't know how long they've been living with their son's addictions. I don't know what else they've done to try to address it, or if him living at home was a result of consequences to his drinking. He was 37 and living at home. He pushed his mom. He laid his hands on her. While drunk. Mom was done. And the mug shots look like she wasn't feeling too much remorse by the time they brought her in to the station.

Unless there are some other undisclosed issues, I'd say it's telling of how hard living with a loved one's active alcoholism is when a mother decides to run over her adult child. He's still her child. There's still, I'm sure, in the back of her mind the image of her little boy playing with hot wheels, or playing catch with dad, or some other parental heart-string moment. A parent's love for their child doesn't just go away as they grow. What she did shows a depth of just done and seeing no way to get through to him.

Needabreak

Many of us have loved someone who was an alcoholic or an addict. We don't all go around running them over with our cars. Other than in self defense, there is never any excuse to do this. Ever.

This makes me think of those people who try to excuse their alcoholic loved one's DUIs and other drunken behavior by saying "Oh, he just drinks a little too much. It's his first time. They should be lenient."

If I were on the jury I'd vote to convict, and would hope that the judge sentences her to prison for a long time. Codependency is a horrible thing, but it should never be used as an excuse to commit a crime. Or to give someone a pass for their actions.

She tried to murder her son. And she is lucky he didn't die or she'd be facing a very long prison sentence.

Better to suggest that people work through their issues and get unstuck from their situation in a healthy way, rather than imply that they had the right to physically hurt someone else who wasn't behaving in the way that THEY wanted them to.

theuncertainty

I understand she ran someone over. I don't condone that. I wasn't condoning what she did. I pointed out what living with a loved one's active alcoholism does. It's so hard and painful that it can lead to a son physically pushing his mother and can twist a mother's love for a child until it is no longer the driving force in their relationship.

ETA: If I were pulled for jury duty on a case like this, I'm sure I'd be let go. I lived for 16 years with a loved one's alcoholism. I never physically defended myself from his abuse, but I'm sure my answers to any questions about "have you ever lived with an alcoholic" would pull me off the selection on a case like this.

Needabreak

If we let it. We do have choices in how to respond. We do have choices in who to keep in our lives, even direct family. This guy was not a minor child. Mother doesn't get to control him.

Mother does get to kick him out and take a restraining order out if he keeps harrassing her, have him arrested for tresspassing, etc., etc. That would have been a far better solution than running him over with her car when he's lying passed out on her driveway.

I see the real culprit here -- along with the son's alcoholism -- as untreated codependency in a person who never chose to take a good look at herself. There is absolutely no excuse.

biminiblue

This is horrible. I can't believe you laughed.

Action

The frustration is real, I have felt it with my son. Him showing up for a visit with his son a passing out sitting on the couch and not waking up with my insistence. I was at the point of calling the law to having him removed from my house when he came to got up and walked out. He hasn't been to my house since and that was nine years ago.
But I never would have run over or harmed him, there are always alternatives to violence .

Seren

There are two things at play here:

1) We can't really comment on this story because we don't know all the facts and weren't involved at all. It's clear the woman went too far, and I hope she and her son get the help they need.

2) It's a reflection of how frustrated, angry, and out-of-control we can also become as loved ones of someone who suffers from addiction. If the addict/alcoholic does not get help to get better and we do not get help to get better, then the family dynamic spirals out of control. That is reflected perfectly in this story.

And before this becomes an all-out "us vs. them" thread, this is closed.