peaceandfreedom

Hi so - I've had a long history of drinking excessively and making bad decisions. Sort of living life in a fog and all that. I've decided not to anymore. So, I'm now day 1 sober and using diazepam to help .. its useful so far. OBviously nothing is perfect. Anyway, so I have recently confided in a close friend that I'm not happy with my drinking, that I've rarely had sober days in the last 3-4 years (I've had a few weeks here and there, maybe a few days here or there, but thats it).

He kinda diminished it, said I'm sure you've said you've had more sober days. Maybe just cut down? (He himself is a 'high functioning alcoholic', and I know he drinks daily ). He's normally a really good friend!!! someone I can go to and talk to get and get support about anything. Except it seems this? or am I overreacting to my drinking? I don't think so?? considering thats all I did when i got home from work until dinner and then I'd go to bed. This was every day. And a 6 pack of beer every day (minimum).

I'd drink the first couple so fast too.

Anyway he said "but you've got hobbies too" - yes well I dont do them sober do I, I do the drunk/tipsy... And then said 'perhaps things will be different in 7 days'.

I'm currenty in a bit of a stressful rekindling relationship with my ex bf... and hes just blaming all the problems on this guy. But I'M the one drinking. Tell me how that helps me practise emotional control, or say what I mean, or even think what I mean, when alcohol is dulling my mind?

I'm feeling really disappointed in my friend's 'support'. Alcohol is such a huge mind altering substance..... its like he's diminishing that....

Thanks for listening xo

Dee74

None of my friends or family thought I was an alcoholic.
I'm sure they all meant well and they all had various reasons for thinking that way - but they were wrong.

Luckily I didn't have to depend on them for support - its why places like SR exist

D

ReadyAtLast

Most people just don't understand. It's not that they are being unsupportive -they just don't 'get' it.

But it's ok because they don't need to. As long as we do. I stopped wasting my time and energy trying to get people to understand years ago.

MindfulMan

My brother said "so you detoxed, it was just the prescription medicines, right? You're not an alkie. When do you start drinking again?"

He knows me well, is very sensitive, and is a normie drinker.

This after medical detox and five weeks of rehab.

Guener

If you feel uncomfortable with your drinking, you don't need to rely on somebody else to confirm it for you. I didn't, but then people recognized me as an alcoholic from years of struggling with it. If you want to quit, that's your decision and yours alone, though I understand that you would like to feel supported in doing so.

Your friend is probably concerned that he is going to lose both a drinking buddy and a friend if you decide to stop drinking. You are probably having similar thoughts. You will not be able to control how he reacts to your choice, but you have control over whether you put yourself in circumstances where you might be tempted to drink together. Some of my friendships are surviving my choice not to drink now, and one is on a lifeline, but all are distance friendships due to my circumstances of where I live. Your need for space may be more difficult to create, but it has been important in my early recovery.

I have no prescription for you to see how this will play out, but you will find a multitude of people here ready to listen to you.

tomsteve

drinking friends wont be supportive of their drinking friends stopping drinking. tbat woukd be helping to lose a drinking friend.
my old drinking friends werent good ones to go to to get support and discuss life problems either because their own lives were a mess because the high functioning was only in the actions. their thinking was low functoining and they didnt know any more about life than myself.

Nonsensical

People disappoint me when they don't meet MY expectations.

That's not always THEIR fault.

Best of Luck on YOUR Journey!

August252015

He's not the kind of friend I would have in my sober life - particularly not at the beginning.

I had to choose me, and sobriety first - and it turned out that meant a lot of changes.

noaddedsugar

nycway1

DreamCatcher17

I let all relationships go that were not supportive of me NOT drinking. No time for that in my life. Even let my relationship of 10 years go. My life, my sobriety is more important than ANYONE.

Evoo

Some people will also find sobriety threatening because it shines an unwelcome light on their own problem drinking.

Not saying that is the case here, but when I was "unsupportive" to others who didn't want to drink, I know now through self-reflection that was precisely the reason.