Tetrax

I've fallen off the wagon. It's happened. I just felt so claustrophobic within my own house. I had a day off after a weekend of shift work and just wanted some peace and quiet, but my housemates had other ideas. There are three of them: a couple, and a friend of the couple. I am the odd one out, even though I've lived here the longest. No excuse, I know. And I know they even want me to socialise with them, but I chose to go to the pub alone, and to listen to music alone. I am the quintessential introvert.

Sorry, I'm such a f***ing cliche. I know it, and I hate it.

Macaroni1234

PhoenixJ

No, you are not a cliché. I have done the same. Going to meetings is a good way to kill time, be around humans, learn and give back- by washing dishes, etc.

Zanna

Tetrax - are you in a position where you could find your own place to live, where you don't have all the temptation around? Not easy here in the UK right now, I know, but it would solve two of your problems - No housemates to bug you or make you feel alone.
I guess you would have already thought of that, but just thought I'd suggest it anyway - hang in there - headphones are wonderful things when you want to block people out too

Tetrax

In a word, no. I don't often admit my financial status to just anyone. But my bank balance is something like -£1500; I've almost got fired (mental illness saved me, which was half-true). If I'm honest I'm balancing not getting fired with still getting benefits. If they do fire me I will no longer get benefits. And beyond that, I can't quite believe so many people on this forum seem to have money! I need some tips, clearly...

least

I'm sorry you drank. I hope you'll come up with a plan that will get you thru such situations and temptations without giving in.

DontRemember

Took me a while to climb out of my financial drinking hole..luckily I had set myself up via investments for enough to 'sustain' my lifestyle,but in the last 3-4yrs of my downward spiral, it was being spent faster than it was coming in and I started 'borrowing from Peter to pay paul' type stuff. The sole cause was my continued drinking lifestyle/behavior/choices. Removed that completely and things got better. If someone keeps punching you in the face and there's nothing you 'think' you can do.. My advice would be;step outta the f'n way and don't put yourself in that face punching position ever again under any circumstance.

Edit: I would have 100% lost my job if I didn't own my company's,but i did drink away several lucrative contracts.

Dee74

Hi tetrax - there's really no reason why you can't go behind 3 weeks. It might take a little more effort and a little more discomfort but I reckon you can do it. Any ideas on what you might add to your toolbox this time?

D

ReadyAtLast

Hey really sorry to hear that but good you're back here straight away.

For me, my bank balance improves massively when I stop drinking. not just the drink itself but the crazy online purchases made when under the influence. Maybe use one of those apps which adds up money saved-it really is amazing.

You can do this Tetrax and get longer than 3 weeks

Tetrax

This I don't get. I'm sorry but I can't relate to rich folk like this. Go and check in to a rehab most of us can't afford and stop wasting my time reading s**t posts like these.

DontRemember

I couldn't afford rehab(no insurance) when I got sober. I had spent everything on drinking/drugs,gambling and women. Had to set up a payment plan for my DUI(2nd) attorney. Got committed to working at my NOT drinking as much,if not more so, than I did my drinking/life choices and 'flipped things' back to positive action/work. I had to own up to MY stuff and get MY stuff together...for me. No longer drinking EVER/no matter what was what changed my life/outlook.

Stayingsassy

Sobriety.

Job instability and financial insecurity is a classic consequence of addiction. I know that answer isn’t a comfort to you right now, and of course sometimes some people are just more fortunate. Just saying that as a general rule, sobriety does wonders for helping people get their **** together financially and professionally.

Tetrax

Was that mummy's or daddy's trust fund you got to tap into?

Tetrax

Hi Dee, if I'm honest and I wanna quit I know I'm gonna have to go back to those goddamn AA meetings. I don't believe in the 12 Steps at all, though. I mean what are we talking about here? A couple of drunks in the Prohibition era got it all figured out?

No, obviously it is a load of BS. But the group therapy thing is what I take from it, which makes some rational sense. I just wish the ratio wasn't so 80/20 old-timers/newcomers. I feel like a moron when I bring up the topic of alcohol after listening to a bunch of people talk about their gratitude/serenity for what seems like forever. I mean what is the point of a meeting of drunks if the elephant is just gonna be left sitting right there in the middle of the damn room, with no one whatsoever mentioning it?

Dee74

Well 1935 was after Prohibition right?

Look man all I know about AA is it flat out saved the lives of a few of my friends here.

If you can't stop drinking on your own, I think you're going to have to look at other options - SMART Recvery and Lifering are also meetuing based...

but whatever it is, try and go into with an open mind - A Group Of Drunks can be an effective Higher Power if thats all you can bring yourself to believe in

D

Guener

Tetrax, I'm also an introvert, and it's hard to be that person sitting in a meeting like you describe. I hope that you find some other avenue that provides you with the group therapy that you find works best for you in your recovery effort. SR is a great place, but if you feel you need that face to face input, keep trying to find it where it works best and take what you can from AA in the meantime.

It's no cliche to relapse, but it is hard to bear that weight of feelings. Your living situation is difficult, and I know what tough finances are like, too. I'm not going to suggest things will get immediately better for you, but you did make it to three weeks and can go further, all the way, I hope. I struggle with my world, too.

Lascaux

Have you thought of finding places to hang out by yourself without alcohol just to get out of the house for a bit?
Generally introverts need alone time to recharge - I know I do! I don't know where you live but around here we have museums with free admission (I can spend hours in a museum no matter how many times I've been and it always makes me happy - I'm a natural history and art buff). Public gardens and parks are nice, too, as are libraries.

ReadyAtLast

i agree.I'm also an introvert and even the though of being in groups make me break out in a cold sweat. I have been to AA and it was not for me. I know many say you have to get uncomfortable to get sober for there are other ways people get sober. For me getting through it in the most comfortable way works best. find whatever works best for you.

Stayingsassy

I went to a lot of meetings like this also.

You mention meetings: what about the quitting part?

How will you organize your life, and your brain, to support quitting?

WaterOx

THats how it starts. I bet there was a time you could scarcely make it 24 hours without a drink and now you’ve just cleared 3 weeks.

If you’re not careful you might go a whole month next!