Difficulty Coping
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Difficulty Coping
Still sober but feeling incredibly lonely and wanting the feeling to go away.
I just spent the day with two girlfriends before my husband got called away to work. I didn't realize the overwhelming sense of loneliness I would I feel until my friend left.
My baby started to cry and so I fed her and put her to sleep. Im trying to distract myself with television but its not working. My mind occasionally wanders to booze.
The good thing is that I never want to drink alone again. I can't stand hiding and lying about it. My drinking toward the end was so isolating and that is the last thing I need to go back to.
But my heart aches. I know booze is not the answer. But there is a piece of me that misses the "fun" part of drinking. The social part. The toasting at weddings, dinners with friends, birthday parties out, wine tastings at beautiful wineries, holiday festivities, etc. I miss participating in the drinking part of it. There are times when I want my old life before the abusive part of my drinking began.
I know a lot of members on here have expressed similar sentiments over the years so this must get better if not just simply change.
But honestly right now, if it wasn't for the helpless newborn sleeping next to me right now, I would have ran off to the store.
I just spent the day with two girlfriends before my husband got called away to work. I didn't realize the overwhelming sense of loneliness I would I feel until my friend left.
My baby started to cry and so I fed her and put her to sleep. Im trying to distract myself with television but its not working. My mind occasionally wanders to booze.
The good thing is that I never want to drink alone again. I can't stand hiding and lying about it. My drinking toward the end was so isolating and that is the last thing I need to go back to.
But my heart aches. I know booze is not the answer. But there is a piece of me that misses the "fun" part of drinking. The social part. The toasting at weddings, dinners with friends, birthday parties out, wine tastings at beautiful wineries, holiday festivities, etc. I miss participating in the drinking part of it. There are times when I want my old life before the abusive part of my drinking began.
I know a lot of members on here have expressed similar sentiments over the years so this must get better if not just simply change.
But honestly right now, if it wasn't for the helpless newborn sleeping next to me right now, I would have ran off to the store.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I think a lot of new parents have to deal with loneliness. You can always talk to your Dr if this is an on-going problem?
It takes time to build a sober life you love newhope...give it time
Also - even tho you're not drinking at the moment and don;t want to - why not use this time to think up a recovery plan...set up a support network..bub may not always be enough to dissuade those thoughts - why not get some reinforcements?
D
It takes time to build a sober life you love newhope...give it time
Also - even tho you're not drinking at the moment and don;t want to - why not use this time to think up a recovery plan...set up a support network..bub may not always be enough to dissuade those thoughts - why not get some reinforcements?
D
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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Originally Posted by Dee74 
Also - even tho you're not drinking at the moment and don;t want to -
Baby only holds me back so much. Most of the time its the idea of drinking in solitude and the hangover that genuinely stops me.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I think thats pretty normal - but that's all the more reason to bump up your recovery work ?
Your AV's raising a sweat trying to convince you don't want to stop drinking now...all the more reason why you need to raise a sweat and fight back...for all the reasons you need to stay sober.
D
Your AV's raising a sweat trying to convince you don't want to stop drinking now...all the more reason why you need to raise a sweat and fight back...for all the reasons you need to stay sober.
D
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
sure, it is easy to miss the drinking before it “got bad”, and to think nostalgically of the toasts, the winery tastings, the drink with a special dinner.
but that is not how you drank.
you have been on SR a decade...so i assume it was already “bad”when you got here 10years ago.
you know your thoughts about being a normal drinker are delusional; it is not who you are.
it is not who anyone here is.
i found knowing, facing, accepting and admitting the reality of who i am crucial to my ongoing sobriety.
you can do this, newhope; just don’t turn away from what you know about yourself. don’t run.
but that is not how you drank.
you have been on SR a decade...so i assume it was already “bad”when you got here 10years ago.
you know your thoughts about being a normal drinker are delusional; it is not who you are.
it is not who anyone here is.
i found knowing, facing, accepting and admitting the reality of who i am crucial to my ongoing sobriety.
you can do this, newhope; just don’t turn away from what you know about yourself. don’t run.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by newhope01
To be candid, I don't think I want to stop drinking. Sometimes the idea of drinking scares me because I don't want to go back to that empty lifestyle. But, then there are other times when I miss the drinking before it got bad. I have this delusion that I can still safely drink and if I can't I am finding it difficult to enjoy activities.
Baby only holds me back so much. Most of the time its the idea of drinking in solitude and the hangover that genuinely stops me.
Baby only holds me back so much. Most of the time its the idea of drinking in solitude and the hangover that genuinely stops me.
I hope you find a way to put it down for good.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Sometimes I get resentful with my brothers who continue to abuse alcohol and refer to me as the alcoholic. I find it unfair that somehow they can live their lives with alcohol and I can't.
Yet here I am whining about it when we all know a normal person wouldn't even care. They would feel sympathy for their loved one suffering with a disease they are blind too, not envy.
Doesn't take away my bad feelings or loneliness though. I don't want to feel like an outsider looking in on other people living their lives. I can't even seem to be able to enjoy a simple day out with friends without mourning the loss of my crutch as I vacantly watch television.
I just have to somehow believe that it gets better or that it will at least change.
Yet here I am whining about it when we all know a normal person wouldn't even care. They would feel sympathy for their loved one suffering with a disease they are blind too, not envy.
Doesn't take away my bad feelings or loneliness though. I don't want to feel like an outsider looking in on other people living their lives. I can't even seem to be able to enjoy a simple day out with friends without mourning the loss of my crutch as I vacantly watch television.
I just have to somehow believe that it gets better or that it will at least change.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
are there new-mom meetups in your area?
i joined such a group when i had my first, and though i did not exactly click with most women there, it did help with the isolation part and the fears and frustrations around the whole parenthood thing and feeling stuck.
i joined such a group when i had my first, and though i did not exactly click with most women there, it did help with the isolation part and the fears and frustrations around the whole parenthood thing and feeling stuck.
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