Addict Landlord
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Addict Landlord
In spite of my best efforts, I have encountered yet ANOTHER person that drives me to learn new detachment skills.
I suppose we are seeing the future. I doubt that addiction statistics are improving, hence we will run into more people with a problem.
One reason I suspect he is an addict, is the internal "pull" I feel towards him, like a tractor beam. I am sure some of you can relate.
Another reason I suspect he is an addict, is every time I see him, he looks worse and worse, sorta like a treaker.
My lease does not require me to do yard work. I have lived here almost 1-1/2 years. I am an ideal tenant. In fact, I am every landlord's *** dream. I pay my rent early, take care of my place and am quiet.
After I lived here 6 months, the Landlord informed me that he had valley fever, and wouldn't be doing yard work until he recovered. "So," I tell myself, " no decent human being would deny doing this chore temporarily for a sick man."
Not long after that, he told me he and his wife had just gotten back from Europe.
Every time I see him, he tells me of their latest trip somewhere.
Since then, he has been here twice in a year to do gardening. In the past couple of months, he has made promises to come take care of all this , then never shows up. I finally decided to let things go, and now the grass and weeds are two feet high.
In my state, the grounds have nothing to do with habitability, so I cannot withhold rent for this issue.
I am becoming vigilant and resentful towards him. I have been looking online to see if his name is in the obituaries. Apparently he and his wife are getting high marks running their AirBNB at the coast. He is just fine.
I could register a complaint at the city codes enforcement office. This would probably result in a fix it ticket to him with retribution coming back my direction.
I know we don't ask for advice in the programs, but I am asking for advice here.
Many thanks!
I suppose we are seeing the future. I doubt that addiction statistics are improving, hence we will run into more people with a problem.
One reason I suspect he is an addict, is the internal "pull" I feel towards him, like a tractor beam. I am sure some of you can relate.
Another reason I suspect he is an addict, is every time I see him, he looks worse and worse, sorta like a treaker.
My lease does not require me to do yard work. I have lived here almost 1-1/2 years. I am an ideal tenant. In fact, I am every landlord's *** dream. I pay my rent early, take care of my place and am quiet.
After I lived here 6 months, the Landlord informed me that he had valley fever, and wouldn't be doing yard work until he recovered. "So," I tell myself, " no decent human being would deny doing this chore temporarily for a sick man."
Not long after that, he told me he and his wife had just gotten back from Europe.
Every time I see him, he tells me of their latest trip somewhere.
Since then, he has been here twice in a year to do gardening. In the past couple of months, he has made promises to come take care of all this , then never shows up. I finally decided to let things go, and now the grass and weeds are two feet high.
In my state, the grounds have nothing to do with habitability, so I cannot withhold rent for this issue.
I am becoming vigilant and resentful towards him. I have been looking online to see if his name is in the obituaries. Apparently he and his wife are getting high marks running their AirBNB at the coast. He is just fine.
I could register a complaint at the city codes enforcement office. This would probably result in a fix it ticket to him with retribution coming back my direction.
I know we don't ask for advice in the programs, but I am asking for advice here.
Many thanks!
Last edited by Seren; 03-19-2019 at 05:02 PM. Reason: Rule 9: Family Friendly rule - if it shouldn't be viewed by minors....
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Honestly? My advice is to ride out your lease and then move. Even if he is not an addict, he is not a responsible landlord. And if he is an addict, then you won't have any more luck changing his behavior than you would any other addict in your life.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
I finally decided to let things go, and now the grass and weeds are two feet high.
At a great apartment complex with rules about cleaning up after dogs, in the winter snow sometimes lots of crap started piling up.
It bothered me. It wasn't mine to take care of. There were many internal lessons in it for me and through prayer, meditation, 12 step meetings, law of attraction, etc. much more was revealed. I'm thankful for that huge shift in perspectives.
When I did nothing, I learned from it.
One day after meditation, it was good obvious timing to clean up. Good, amazing things happened.
Then I moved to this cabin that had horse manure in my yard area. I deal with it in the same way - pray/meditate/good obvious direction. Some days I'm light-hearted, thankful for dogs, horses, landlords, safe, comfortable homes. As I become more appreciative, something else good keeps changing in my life. Typically I take these things as signs of more going on in my own life.
I keep feeling if it's time to move, things will work out. If it's not, I do what is possible to enjoy life. Maybe that's in a jungle. Maybe it's a yard that inspires changes in outlooks. I haven't experienced spring here, yet, so I'll be finding out.
I tried negotiating a lower rent and am glad for opportunities in seeing my current landlord seems to have early dementia.
Good luck!
(btw- I'm finding many ways to directly clean up my life - shovels, good attitude, fragrant foaming hand soap to mentally shift gears along with washing up)
At a great apartment complex with rules about cleaning up after dogs, in the winter snow sometimes lots of crap started piling up.
It bothered me. It wasn't mine to take care of. There were many internal lessons in it for me and through prayer, meditation, 12 step meetings, law of attraction, etc. much more was revealed. I'm thankful for that huge shift in perspectives.
When I did nothing, I learned from it.
One day after meditation, it was good obvious timing to clean up. Good, amazing things happened.
Then I moved to this cabin that had horse manure in my yard area. I deal with it in the same way - pray/meditate/good obvious direction. Some days I'm light-hearted, thankful for dogs, horses, landlords, safe, comfortable homes. As I become more appreciative, something else good keeps changing in my life. Typically I take these things as signs of more going on in my own life.
I keep feeling if it's time to move, things will work out. If it's not, I do what is possible to enjoy life. Maybe that's in a jungle. Maybe it's a yard that inspires changes in outlooks. I haven't experienced spring here, yet, so I'll be finding out.
I tried negotiating a lower rent and am glad for opportunities in seeing my current landlord seems to have early dementia.
Good luck!
(btw- I'm finding many ways to directly clean up my life - shovels, good attitude, fragrant foaming hand soap to mentally shift gears along with washing up)
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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Originally Posted by biminiblue 
How about negotiating a lower rent in exchange for doing the work yourself? You could ask to have your lease agreement amended if you're amenable to that.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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Originally Posted by SparkleKitty
.... you won't have any more luck changing his behavior than you would any other addict in your life.
And, isn't this the whole point of these programs we work on this page? I have to be reminded again and again that I can't change others.
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Thanks to you dear people for your insight.
One thing that occurred to me during meditation this morning, is that my duty would be to register an anonymous complaint to the city about the grass and weeds growing up against the building, because they will become a fire hazard when they dry out. If that happens, I and my neighbors will be in danger.
Thanks to your help here, I realize that I can do this dispassionately and free of feelings of revenge. The complaint is the natural result of my landlord's behavior, and he will have to face the consequences.
One thing that occurred to me during meditation this morning, is that my duty would be to register an anonymous complaint to the city about the grass and weeds growing up against the building, because they will become a fire hazard when they dry out. If that happens, I and my neighbors will be in danger.
Thanks to your help here, I realize that I can do this dispassionately and free of feelings of revenge. The complaint is the natural result of my landlord's behavior, and he will have to face the consequences.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
With a lowered rent you could pay a neighborhood kid to take care of it. Win/win/win.
Although I agree that it is the landlord's responsibility much of life is negotiation and I hate to move. It's expensive and annoying and stressful. If it were me I'd exhaust every means of not moving.
Although I agree that it is the landlord's responsibility much of life is negotiation and I hate to move. It's expensive and annoying and stressful. If it were me I'd exhaust every means of not moving.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Separate from the exact topic.
As I am settling into my recovery more and more I really realize how much I need the skill of boundaries and how much better they make my life.
I can't find which one I was watching the other day by Brene Brown talks on YouTube about how having boundaries make her a kinder person....to herself and others.
That was what resonated with me about your post. Regardless of addict or not I am pretty sure I still need to work on developing my boundary muscle....in all sorts of new ways.
As I am settling into my recovery more and more I really realize how much I need the skill of boundaries and how much better they make my life.
I can't find which one I was watching the other day by Brene Brown talks on YouTube about how having boundaries make her a kinder person....to herself and others.
That was what resonated with me about your post. Regardless of addict or not I am pretty sure I still need to work on developing my boundary muscle....in all sorts of new ways.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
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I was listening to NPR the other day and it was talking about how we have a low unemployment rate, yet we have so many who are not working who are able. Why you ask.....ADDICTION!!!!!
It's slowly....and quietly....taking over. I am disgusted, that is just being honest.
It's slowly....and quietly....taking over. I am disgusted, that is just being honest.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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Originally Posted by hopeful4
I was listening to NPR the other day and it was talking about how we have a low unemployment rate, yet we have so many who are not working who are able. Why you ask.....ADDICTION!!!!!
It's slowly....and quietly....taking over. I am disgusted, that is just being honest.
It's slowly....and quietly....taking over. I am disgusted, that is just being honest.
Incidentally, I mowed the lawn Saturday because I was tired of living in a pigsty. I registered an anonymous complaint with code enforcement due to the fire danger of the rest of the property. I think it is good to have something legal of record on this guy, even a small thing.
In my gut, I believe that addiction is at the root of this landlord's trouble. If there were illness in the family or some other trouble, he would just say so. My neighbor said yesterday that in 10 years, he's never know this guy to let his property go like this.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Eauchiche, trust your gut.
"At a great apartment complex with rules about cleaning up after dogs, in the winter snow sometimes lots of crap started piling up.
It bothered me. It wasn't mine to take care of. There were many internal lessons in it for me and through prayer, meditation, 12 step meetings, law of attraction, etc. much more was revealed. I'm thankful for that huge shift in perspectives."
Dealing with my alcoholic husband who's in his full, destructive, disease that is not-my-problem-or-business reminds me of dealing with the issue at the apartment complex. Addiction hurts. I'm putting my recovery skills to use, moment by moment.
"At a great apartment complex with rules about cleaning up after dogs, in the winter snow sometimes lots of crap started piling up.
It bothered me. It wasn't mine to take care of. There were many internal lessons in it for me and through prayer, meditation, 12 step meetings, law of attraction, etc. much more was revealed. I'm thankful for that huge shift in perspectives."
Dealing with my alcoholic husband who's in his full, destructive, disease that is not-my-problem-or-business reminds me of dealing with the issue at the apartment complex. Addiction hurts. I'm putting my recovery skills to use, moment by moment.
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