Taooo

I had a few really bad and extremely busy days, followed by bad news and then an arguement with somebody close to me. I wanted to relax more than anything and just get some peace for a couple hours before returning to work the next day.

I drank 4 pints, and after lasting 52 days they hit me pretty hard and I was fairly smashed. I made sure to only buy 4 knowing I had work the next day and only 2 hours to drink them before I should go to bed. I promised myself it wouldn't turn into a binge... but if I didn't have work the next day I can honestly say I would of gone and got more while in the intoxicated mindset.


The next day I woke up and had regret. I'm disappointed but all is not lost, I lasted 52 days. Thats a 98% improvement on a 50 day scale and the longest I've lasted in 2 years. I'm not off the wagon, it was just a stumble. I'm already getting those addictive thoughts of "moderation" trying to sneak in my mind but I know moderation isn't possible for me and where "moderation" will take me.

So I start again. I will keep my original start date as the day I made the decision to stop but log my relapse/stumble, I'm not starting again because I've not surrendered, just faltered. But I want to be transparent and honest because thats the only way this will work.

Dee74

I'm glad you're back Taooo.

Have you any ideas on what you'll do differently this time?

D

Purplrks3647

(((Taooo))) Glad you came right back!

Tailai

SnazzyDresser

It took me 2 or 3 serious attempts to work out the kinks of living sober. I had 75 days on my own first, came to SR right after that, then had a 208 day streak thru 2016. I'm liking this current 773! Sounds like you've got your head on straight, Taooo. All the best to you going forward.

wiscsober

a whole lotta tools available for you....thank you for your post

doggonecarl

You drank, that's transparent and honest. Resetting your sober date would also be transparent and honest. I say that, not to be the sobriety count police, but because your logic doesn't prevent you from drinking again. So you stopped after four pints. Awesome. Where's the line? Six? Twelve? Where have you set the bar?

Set it to zero. That's sobriety.

Jules714

Well you know moderation is not for you.
When you know even 1 is not for you, you will not need to be concerned about dates.
It's up to you if you want to start your date over. You may have lost days but not the experience. You are doing good! 50 days twice in 2 years? Excellent.
In my opinion, I had to be totally honest with myself and people in order to truly begin to recover. It is a tool. Honestly, its the lube of life...lol.

Keep at it!
Jules

needshelp111

Back at it and don't give up. Work out if you want to destress. Helps me man.

Fearlessat50

Hi Taoo, so glad you posted, and are being honest and staying accountable. You aren’t alone. I have totally been there a million times. Long periods of sobriety made possible by life simply going well for a while, then bam, an argument with my husband, a parenting challenge or some other unexpected life crisis and I was back where I was using alcohol as my default coping mechanism. I had to change my default for dealing with life struggles, which required changing my thoughts, behaviors and routines. Therapy was great in the beginning. I still practice daily yoga and meditation, exercise and gratitude. I still check in to SR regularly.

So glad you are not being hard on yourself and staying possible. It’s just a slip. Still, think about what you’ve learned from this incident, and what you will do differently the next time something similar happens

sva777

I decided to get sober January of 2015, I lasted until December of that year 332 days sober. I had a similar situation where I decided "I needed to relax" I had a few and didn't drink the next day. I tried to rationalize how I did not need to reset my counter and how it was really just a little stumble. This went on for another year and three months, a few slips here and there. No need to reset right?? I am still sober! My addicted mind was telling me all the things I wanted to hear.

Eventually I had enough in March of 2017, I was honest with myself. I reset my counter and have been sober ever since.

saoutchik

Glad you posted and didn't just disappear Taooo, it doesn't click first time for most of us. Others here have mentioned exercise, I would concur. It doesn't have to be an extreme workout, walking is fine. Just something to make your body tired in the evening which in turn makes it easier to ignore the cravings.

Taooo

I've remove it as suggested, but in regards to everybody telling me I failed at sobriety and going sober; I simply went down and not out. In terms of exercise, my life is fairly intense in regards to exercise anyway. I used to fight (only amateur level) in boxing and K1 rules kickboxing, I recently upped my training once I got sober and it's all been going amazing.

Just a mistake. I'm not off the wagon yet, and 1 slip up in 52 days isn't something I'm going to megative about. Quitting is a process and I'm in the process of fighting, so I got hit with a good solid shot and took one but I didn't stay down, I just stumbled a little.

I'm not going to quit quitting, the old me would of continued that session into a hardcore binge og drugs and alcohol lasting a few weeks or a month or two. I didn't do that, I accepted I ****** up and I've taken steps to make sure it doesn't happen again. I made a positive improvement to my life and I'm not going to be told it's for nothing, especially when I didn't go on a binge and my goal is still 100% sobriety.

And as for my date... it wasn't a date of sobriety, it was the date I changed my life and started the battle to quit. It's a battle that I've not lost, I just made a little mistake that lasted 2 - 3 hours before I corrected it and nobody is going to tell me I've failed. Failure would be giving up and going on a binge.

doggonecarl

As someone who suggested resetting your sobriety, I appreciate you taking mine and other's advice. As for failing at sobriety, I am not sure how you are getting that. I did not see any posts that stated that, or implied it. No one is taking away your 52 days sober. Myself, I was pointing out that drinking...any drinking, is being still in the clutch of our addiction.

Wishing you success moving forward.

Taooo

You were actually the one I was referencing. And as for being in the clutches, it's only been 53 days. Of course I'm still in the clutches of drinking, but this I didn't do my usual trick of failing after 2 weeks and going on a binge for a month or two like I have done for the last few years. Instead I realized my error and corrected it immediately. Little steps is how we win, I've not given up on quitting and I'm definitely not counting this as a failure because I'm still 100% committed. I've had plenty of bad news the last 53 days and every time I didn't give in, this is one failure out of many successes and I'm not going to let it drag me down. 100% is still my aim for the rest of my life.

aasharon90

Addiction is a sickness and as for me, I had
no idea how actually sick I was until I admitted
I had an addiction to alcohol and had a full
day of not drinking it.

That first full sober day was the beginning of
learning how to live life alcohol free and learning
a program of recovery that I could incorporate
in my everyday life on a continuous bases.


My journey in recovery began in rehab some
28 yrs ago, a many one days sober to help me
achieve many of lifes amazing and wonderful
gifts to enjoy and be blessed for today.


A successful life in sobriety/recovery and my
own comes from building a strong solid foundation
built by using a recovery program as a guideline
to help me navigate thru lifes ups and downs
to eventually achieve health, happiness and
honesty all to the best of my human ability.


Continue to listen, learn, absorb and apply
what is needed for you to achieve a successful
life in recovery too like so many have already.

Doris47

You got this taooo, keep going. I'm rooting for you mate 🙏💖

ReadyAtLast

No one is saying you are a failure at all and no one is saying that the sobriety was for nothing.

A 53 day stretch is brilliant. You still have the lessons learned etc during that time. I had 3.5 years sober once then picked up once had a couple of drinks it did nothing so I forgot about it and carried on. till the next month when I did it again. Then the next week, then it became every night. I had to accept that I wasn't sober when I kept picking up. My continual stint of sobriety had ended. Course I wasn;t back to sqaure one as had still learned lots. but I was back to day 1.

For me, I needed to accept that when I did pick up that wasn't sobriety. i wasn't in recovery. As they say on here relapse is not part of recovery it is part of addiction. I don't think we should beat ourselves up for picking up but I also don't think we should play it down as though it's not a big deal. It is a sign of something wrong in our recovery plan.

AnvilheadII

so let's say you "keep" your journey towards sobriety date and discount the fact that you willingly consumed alcohol, once. and let's say you go another 26 days, and then drink again. will that then be 79 days with two oopsies?

no one here has ever said you were a failure or that the 7.4 weeks of continuous not drinking is now abolished. but if our goal is 100% sobriety all the time, then drinking interferes with that. it happened. you can only have one OR the other.

tomsteve

no one has said you failed,Taooo, except yourself which ya seem to have contradicted yourself a wee bit:
I've not given up on quitting and I'm definitely not counting this as a failure because I'm still 100% committed. I've had plenty of bad news the last 53 days and every time I didn't give in, this is one failure out of many successes and I'm not going to let it drag me down. 100% is still my aim for the rest of my life.
if anything, its a good lesson on what doesnt work.

now onto today and the future- what do you plan to do differently so it doesnt happen again?