jjj77

Hi, All. I haven't posted in a long while, but visit often to remember my family and I are not alone in all this. Thank you for all you do - a few years ago, this site helped me tremendously when I was trying to define boundaries with my mother.

I feel like a very different person today vs. just four years ago. I can see my mother is consumed by addiction and I have done my best to detach with love. My definition of that was, for a while, full NC. Then I decided when she's not drinking (I won't say "in recovery," because she hasn't truly worked a program in a while), we'll do Christmases and even holidays together. If she's drinking, it's NC. I have old hurts, of course, but I'm not looking to punish her for her addiction. I just stay away when she's using. I'm not perfect and get angry, sad, etc. sometimes, but it no longer runs my life.

Well, as we all know, simply "not drinking" is not recovery and given alcoholism's cruel progressive nature, she's gotten worse and worse over the last few years. I've been preparing myself for a bad phone call for a while, understanding the few roads left were jail or death.

Last night I got the call that she nearly died of alcohol poisoning, and that she's likely going to jail for a while (she has two DUIs and was under court-ordered sobriety). I believe she's in jail as I type this.

It's very strange to think of my mother in jail. I'm sad for her that her addiction has stripped away almost everything, except her life. I pray that she can find comfort from somewhere as she awaits her fate. I sincerely hope this is the final wake-up call for her. However, I now do not hang my life and fate and happiness on that idea. I hope, but don't expect. I'm sad, and I'm letting myself be sad, but I understand it's not in my hands.

I just felt I needed to share something about this today with people who would understand. Thank you all for being there. Love & light to you...you are such warriors.

Mango212

Hi jjj77,

Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you're here.

Jail can be a safe reprieve or jump-start for new, good things for someone with an addiction. I've seen both happen. There can be gifts in unexpected places.


Namaste

Mango212

A soft reminder to ramp up self-care today. ((((hugs))))

You're doing great in a very difficult situation.

Bekindalways

As much as it probably isn't a surprise, it must still be a bit of a shock.

I second the suggestion of self care.

Peace and courage to you with this new reality in your life.

ChloeRose63

I am glad that you came here for love and support.

NYCDoglvr

My heart goes out to you. When all we can do is pray, it can be a big comfort to do so.