readyt0change

its day 20 this time around but i've been pretty much sober minus a few nights since November.

i got fired last friday from my sales job because i didn't sell enough cars. i was extremely depressed december and january and those were bad months anyways but at least i showed up to work.

this whole decade has been spent mostly feeding my addiction. i lived off disability until that ended last year. its gone i need to find something to do to survive.

my parents are so dissapointed in me. i seem to have everything going for me on the outside but on the inside i'm a wreck.

i'm not sure what i'm living for or what i'm gonna do with my life. i don't know who i am sober. not much motivation.

many times my first thought is to drink. i am 26 and it feels like i've already wasted my life. i am a total zero.

i guess the only positive right now is that i'm sober. these are the hardest times in my life. how am i gonna get through this?

Meddles

Hi readyt0change - I don't know about others, but I had no idea who I was sober. I start getting drunk age 13. I was really quiet at first, and didn't really know what to say or do, but I after three months I really found myself. I was more confident, healthier, clearer, I was a far better friend and girlfriend, and family member. I got too comfortable with that and relapsed, but back on it now and done 13 days. It's hard for sure, for me I just remember how good I felt, and the support I had through AA and the amazing people I met there, and keep going. Recovery for me now takes over everything else in my life. My job, my relationship, my friends, and my family. It comes first. Because without it I always damage those things and the people I love. Try to remember the positives, and keep reaching out to people and trying to do what works for you. I find going for walks helps, listening to funny podcasts and happy music lifts my mood, and hanging out with people who aren't drinking. Good luck!

JayTee33

Hey readyt0change, from a fellow Canadian who's been there (and who is still struggling with some of the same things that you are). I know it's difficult to see the positives when you're going through a dark time in your life, but what I see when I read your post is a guy who is clearly taking steps to build a positive, meaningful life for himself.

You're doing the work to stay sober, you got off of disability and got working. You are dedicating your energy to good, positive things, and it's just the beginning. Yes, you'll have hurdles and setbacks, like losing your job. But you have SO much of your life ahead of you, (you're 15 years younger than me, and I'm just starting a new career too). Think about how far you can go in life if you just keep moving forward, building on those positive steps and harnessing your energy towards building the life you want. Don't give up! (Okay that was a total pep talk, but hope it helps). Take care and we're here to talk if you need it.

awuh1

The title of your post says it all, "building a life worth living". Kinda hard to do that in 20 days. Don't be too hard on yourself. The beginning is often the most difficult part of the path. Finding meaning is the thing that makes it all worthwhile. Stay the course. Search diligently. You will find it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-d4ugppcRUE

Anna

Readytochange, you have not wasted your life. You have arrived at the point where you know you need to make some big changes and it sounds like you're ready to do so.

Spend some quiet time with yourself and try to reconnect with yourself and what you want in your life.

columbus

It may not feel like it now, but 26 is still young.

Nip this drinking in the proverbial bud before you're

36
46
56
66
...........

30yrdrunk

Hevyn

Ready - I spent decades in a numb & foggy state. You have freed yourself at a relatively young age - be proud of that. 20 days is great, but it's early yet. Be kind & patient with yourself as you get used to the new life that's unfolding.

Congratulations on your sobriety - you've given yourself a wonderful gift.

Zebra1275

Getting sober at 26 is an awesome thing to do, don’t be so hard on yourself.

At your age I distinctly remember coming to the conclusion that I was an alcoholic. I remember rehearsing a “confession” to tell my fiancé who would later become my wife. I never did that. Instead I kept my alcoholic drinking hidden for over 20 years, until a couldn’t hide it any longer. Then I struggled for 5 or 6 years to quit. I’m over 60 now and have been sober for several years, and don’t envision ever drinking again.

You post makes me wonder what my life might have been like if I had actually followed through at age 26 and quit drinking. I certainly would have spent less time being hung over, have more money that I didn’t waste on booze in my retirement plan, and maybe have normal blood pressure along with many other positive outcomes.

You’ve only been sober for a short period of time. You are not going to be able to immediately rebuild your life. It happens one day at a time, and that takes patience. But you have decades in front of you to do that.

Nonsensical

Like a boss

readyt0change

i went out last night with a girl who ended up having a pretty ****** personality.
went with the idea to have a few beers and at least get laid. i should have just stayed home.

my parents gave it to me this morning reminding me what a ******* loser i am.

today is off to a good start..


thank you for the kind words and encouragement guys.