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relapse dream. urgh. and then back to reality

Old 02-27-2019, 08:21 AM
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Join Date: May 2013
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relapse dream. urgh. and then back to reality

good morning everyone (or afternoon/evening for some).

i had that dreaded relapse dream.. a pretty vivid one too. the details of it are vague in my memory now...but all i remember is hiding alcohol, the nasty smell of it, the massive disappointment and anger from my family, the regret, the guilt, the shame, the anxiety etc..

and then i woke up. a couple minutes of absolute bliss and relief as i come back into my reality of being just over a year sober now. it's all good. you're not back at that place and you never have to go back.

maybe i should be thankful that i have nightmares about drinking. maybe deep down.. my subconscious now adamantly knows that drinking in any way or form is horrible for me. i think it'd be worse if i was having good dreams about drinking (like partying and having good times) because that would be my addiction trying to take over and trick me that alcohol is fun and that you can moderate.

i'm so thankful for my sobriety..and i can never take it for granted. whatever bumps in the road of life are ahead for me...sobriety is my base. without that, nothing else can be supported. it's not just about me either...it's about the people who care for me (my family) and making up for all the stress and pain i've caused them for years.

ok i'm rambling now...have a good day everyone
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