Silver11

I’ve been here so many times.
I’ve had some success with weekends. Structure. I put structure into Fridays like going out for a movie. Put structure into Saturdays like meeting people. I had 2 - 3 weeks sober. But then I crash.

Started going to the gym. Got a trainer. Lost 3 kg of fat in the last month in the treadmill.

But then.. but then.

I lose it. The motivation... it starts with ice cream. Then.. a day off the gym.

This is a curse.

I’ve just fought with my Wife on a Wednesday to drink and have had 8 beers.

Tomorrow, I’ll be certain and sure that I’m done. And 5 days later.. who knows.

Done AA twice.

I’m 42. I have an 8 year old boy. I just want to make it till he’s old enough to look after himself. Sobriety aside. I just want to make it until he’s ok on his own.

I’m so tired

lessgravity

Sounds like my exact life, age, fatherhood, failed attempts - year after year. Until now, fully sober, finally.

In my mind I truly believe that addiction is not addiction when your values trump, when what you want/expect/require from your self and your life finally is of more value to you than the poison. Took me a long time to get here, and I'm grateful at the core of my being that I made it.

​​​​​​You're no kid, you have obligations and responsibilities. Can do the work to finally give yourself the freedom peace and strength to be the father, husband and man you were meant to be? It takes work. But it's worth everything.
​​​​

tekink

It's not easy and it comes with a lot of awful feelings. It gets easier and when it does it's worth it. It's hard at first, my mind would play tricks on me in an attempt to talk me into taking that first sip. Once you pick up it's over.

doggonecarl

What's "done AA" mean? Gone to some meetings?

Or have you done the program of Alcoholics Anonymous--gotten a sponsor, worked the steps?

What you "do" for AA will determine your success.

Or don't do AA. People have gotten sober different ways. But one thing they've all done is make the changes necessary to support the decision to quit drinking and have learned to live life sober, coping without alcohol.

Can you commit to that?

ScottFromWI

My family and the selfishness/pain/absenteeism surrounding my drinking was probably the biggest motivator when I finally quit for good. Certainly learning to want to take care of yourself needs to be part of it as well, but grab on to anything you can to help keep you motivated. And I can't really think of a much bigger motivator than being there for your son - which you can't do if you keep drinking.

I am not sure it really matters whether you do AA or AVRT or therapy or rehab - but you do have to do something. And you have to find a way to motivate yourself to keep doing whatever that "something is".

The real turning point for me was realizing that the choice was actually mine. I also tried to figure out why i was the way I am for quite a while, but finally realized that it doesn't matter - i simply am the way I am. And I am a person who cannot drink alcohol without significant consequences. Some people would say that i'm an alcoholic or and addict - and by their definition I likely am. But the words really dont matter - as long as I accept that if I drink, bad things are guaranteed to happen. And that I have the choice to not drink.