As I head to rehab a second time..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
As I head to rehab a second time..
... as I give AA another go
...as I continue with my therapy
...as I try the local outpatient place
...as I submit to twice weekly urine tests
...as I let my psychiatrist work up new combinations and medications
...as I ask for help......
AGAIN
I am reminded of one of the most beautiful articles I have ever read.
Even though "You just don’t want to see the way that mouth forms around the word “Again?”
I am asking for more help. I failed, but I am not giving up. Despite those "again?s"
https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/...uittings-end/#!
...as I continue with my therapy
...as I try the local outpatient place
...as I submit to twice weekly urine tests
...as I let my psychiatrist work up new combinations and medications
...as I ask for help......
AGAIN
I am reminded of one of the most beautiful articles I have ever read.
Even though "You just don’t want to see the way that mouth forms around the word “Again?”
I am asking for more help. I failed, but I am not giving up. Despite those "again?s"
https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/...uittings-end/#!
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Mera,
Thank you for sharing that article - it's perhaps the most true thing I've ever read about addiction.
I'm so glad you're giving recovery another go. You're worth it - and we deserve to see you emerge again.
O
Thank you for sharing that article - it's perhaps the most true thing I've ever read about addiction.
I'm so glad you're giving recovery another go. You're worth it - and we deserve to see you emerge again.
O
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 5
Am so glad that you have this opportunity!
I also really hope and pray that the psychiatrist that brought huge problems to you, is not associated with this rehab in any way, shape or form.
Very positive e thoughts your way. Bill would be proud of you and as a friend of his from way way back, you were such a delight in his life.
I also really hope and pray that the psychiatrist that brought huge problems to you, is not associated with this rehab in any way, shape or form.
Very positive e thoughts your way. Bill would be proud of you and as a friend of his from way way back, you were such a delight in his life.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Tomorrow is the day! I need to get up very early and catch the train f=to Florence. I need to check in prior to 10am and the train ride is an hour and a half, then a taxi ride to the place.
I will stay for 15 days, then come home for 15 and then go back for another 15. It is a new system they are doing. The idea is to learn some stuff and not get too comfortable with the rehab routine, go home and use the new skills and then come back and work on what worked, what didn't.
It's time.
My sons are thrilled but my older son did say "what if the doctors can't fix you mommy? What if you come home and drink again?" I didn't know what to say really. I told him that we would all do our very best to make this work. And if, for some god awful reason, I come home and drink I will always be his mommy and always love him and always helming him get the help he needs to deal with having such a sick, damaged mommy.
The kids asked me to take their stuffed animals with me, the ones they keep here at my house. One is small, but one is kind of big, I don't think I have room. I will talk to them tonight and ask if they are ok with me taking something else of theirs, a little lego or something.
The idea of being such a failure to them just crushes my soul in ways I had no idea were humanly possible.
On Friday my older son was sick and his father called and asked if he could bring him to stay with me for the day. He was terribly sick with a virus. We spent the whole day in bed, I never left his side. He had to get up on go vomit many times and I went with him to rub his back and hold his pyjamas back, wipe his face afterwards. It was the most beautiful day I have had in a long time.
I will stay for 15 days, then come home for 15 and then go back for another 15. It is a new system they are doing. The idea is to learn some stuff and not get too comfortable with the rehab routine, go home and use the new skills and then come back and work on what worked, what didn't.
It's time.
My sons are thrilled but my older son did say "what if the doctors can't fix you mommy? What if you come home and drink again?" I didn't know what to say really. I told him that we would all do our very best to make this work. And if, for some god awful reason, I come home and drink I will always be his mommy and always love him and always helming him get the help he needs to deal with having such a sick, damaged mommy.
The kids asked me to take their stuffed animals with me, the ones they keep here at my house. One is small, but one is kind of big, I don't think I have room. I will talk to them tonight and ask if they are ok with me taking something else of theirs, a little lego or something.
The idea of being such a failure to them just crushes my soul in ways I had no idea were humanly possible.
On Friday my older son was sick and his father called and asked if he could bring him to stay with me for the day. He was terribly sick with a virus. We spent the whole day in bed, I never left his side. He had to get up on go vomit many times and I went with him to rub his back and hold his pyjamas back, wipe his face afterwards. It was the most beautiful day I have had in a long time.
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